Love/Hate Relationship

I love my computer. I hate my computer. Can I get an 'amen?!'

We use our computer frequently throughout the day. Both my husband and I read the newspaper online. We all, including Duck, do research online. Duck and I both use Word documents for organizing our daily tasks and, of course, we use it for school. Even bible studies can be done more effectively with the computer when we can't find a particular passage...the computer finds it way faster than any concordance.

Yes, this piece of technology is woven into my life for efficiency and organization. That's why I love it.

Then there are the troubles it brings. Websites that are slow or freezing when I only have a moment before needing to move on with my day. Also the times when our server is down and feels like FOREVER before I can get into my email. The worst, however, is the security lapses that allow viruses to enter. That happened just this past few weeks.

A virus calling itself 'XP security 2011' popped up and would not go away. It looked exactly like a Microsoft program and wanted me to purchase a new security system (FYI, it is not from Microsoft and should you encounter it - do not purchase it!). It took my computer hostage, refusing any access to the internet. My computer guy informed that we would have to remove the operating system and reload it. Thereby losing any data, pictures and videos that were on hard drive if I could not get them backed up on disc.

Fortunately, I was able to remove all important and personal items onto disc - so we did not lose anything that way. What we did lose was days with our technological friend. I so, so, so missed the computer when it was unavailable. My husband and daughter felt the same way - Hoss didn't care, he just likes to chew on the cords right now.

So, as you can see, the computer has returned to us. I have spent hours reloading software and drivers. Why is it worth it? Because I got to see Mrs. Parunak's new baby who arrived while my computer was in limbo. Because my lists and charts for school are back at my fingertips. Because Duck can listen to Odyssey on the Radio again. Because I couldn't remember the reference for a particular bible passage that I needed.

Yes, a true love\hate relationship. I know it is only a machine. I know that if I had to, I could live without it. I know it is only a matter of time before it disappoints me - again. I know I will do everything necessary to fix it - again.

Norwalking on the Wild Side

Gingerale - check

Good supply of TP - check

Jello - check

Individual buckets to carry around - check

Can you guess what we have been doing in our house for the last week and a half? That's right...the norwalk virus hit like a tornado two Saturday's ago. I remember the moment clearly. Duck looked up at me, with a slight green tinge to her face, and said, "I don't feel very well". Within three minutes the first bucket had been used.

Now Duck had the worst of it. Her vomiting was out of control and we had to take a trip to the hospital for some help to stop it - at least for awhile. They gave her a magic pill that cleared up the nausea for over 4 hours! The next day she was still quite sick and living on the gingerale and jello diet. You see, norwalk may start off with coming 'up', then it moves 'down'. By Monday she was back to a normal colour. Then her little brother followed in her footsteps.

Ever try to explain to a nine month old that throwing up is okay? Hoss was a real trooper, though. His up-chucking stage only lasted part of one day and then we went through a tonne of diapers! The worst part with a little one is how much weight is lost in such a short time. Although the virus passes through quickly, it takes several days to re-train the tummy to eat normally. Almost one full week to get the little guy back to normal portions of formula and food. Plus the long lasting effect would be his new addiction to jello.

Now,infection control is still possible with an 11yo who can use a bucket and wash her hands - it is a different story when a baby is just using me to catch his emesis. So, then it was my turn. There is a question if it was just a coincidence that I spent a day with the bucket as my best friend, though. The night prior, my husband took me out for a nice dinner at a restaurant and I devoured a rack of honey garlic ribs. The garlic was excessive! So there is a question if that was what had me heaving - because that was the only symptom that I suffered. Not that made any difference during the time.

So...the question rises. How do we find something to be thankful about in all of this?

Actually, it wasn't too difficult to answer. You see, the three days prior to Duck becoming ill she spent on vacation with our friends at Niagara Falls Great Wolf Lodge Resort. It is a huge water park resort where they had an incredibly good time. Saturday morning, again before any ugly symptoms arose, she spent the time with her dad at the shooting range. So, we look at the fact that her vacation and daddy date were not hindered by the virus - a blessing to be thankful for indeed.

As for me, this past Saturday was a homeschool conference that I always enjoy attending each spring. Both kids were well enough to spend the day with Auntie L, which gave my husband and I the full day to ourselves. I became ill the day after. Again, a blessing that 'ralph and chuck' didn't ruin my day, either.

When God says 'in eveything give thanks', there really is always something for which to be thankful!

Now was there any other way to describe vomiting that I didn't use?

Dog's Best Friend

Warning: this is a post for animal lovers only! The rest of you won't get it...

My dog, Pokey, is known to us a sweet albeit mischievious jack russell terrier. He is not hyper, as his breed can be at times. In fact, he is on the lazy side when in the house. However, take him for a walk and he becomes a new dog. When Pokey walks through the neighbourhood he appears to present himself as a much larger dog - head held high and chest stuck out. A leash is a necessity as he is unpredictable around other dogs. There are times we pass another dog and Pokey doesn't even look at it; then there are times when he is bearing his teeth and snarling like he's a lion!

For the longest time we could not figure out what the difference in dogs was that could bring about such polarized reactions. Eventually, we realized. Pokey is a nazi - small 'n'. He hates all dogs who he deems to be ugly or stupid or just simply below his standards for dogs. It's true...we have tested the theory. Should an approaching dog be lunging on it's leash, tongue lolling, and generally acting like a fool...Poke hates it instantly. When a dog with a ridiculous haircut (think giant poodle) is approaching...Poke will start snarling as though to tell it how stupid it looks. On the opposite end, a dog who is generally composed while walking, with no unusual appearance or accessories...Poke will ignore it or give a courtesy sniff without incident.

There is one exception to this rule and he is our houseguest for the next few days.

Meet George. He is a half breed poodle/jack mix - and, although he's as sweet as sugar, he has the intelligence of a potatoe. He is half Pokey's physical and intellectual size. And they love each other. When given the opportunity to visit together, they wrestle non-stop for 30 minutes or more and take a short break before starting up again. They will share food and water bowls and George is allowed to sleep in bed with us.

Now this isn't purely coincidental. George belongs to our good friends and he and Poke have known each other since they were pups. George is a year older than Poke which gave him some seniority when they first met and that may have channeled into a certain type of mutual adoration for their entire relationship. It works well because we dog-sit George while his family takes vacation and they will dog-sit Poke while we take some time away.

So for those who ever questioned if dogs really do have individual personality; for those who give strange looks to pet owners talking to their dogs as if they were people; for those who question if pets can love...these two really are BFFs.

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The 'P' Word

Many years ago, when my husband and I were DINKS (double income, no kids) we did some unusual things. One particular event involved housing a raccoon in our home. My husband worked for a wildlife rehab and sanctuary at the time, and when they were overrun with raccoons at one point we decided to take one home and care for it. It was a baby raccoon, but she was very...um...rotund. She was given the name of Beatrice, because we thought she needed a moniker that provided some lady-like character to her. It would prove to be the only thing about her that was lady-like.

She was greedy, selfish, gluttonous and could be very nasty during her play. Oh, but she was adorable! The two dogs we had at the time did not agree with this assessment. My doberman/shepherd was a senior in age and did her best to simply ignore the intruder. This proved difficult when Beatrice would 'hunt' her in the living room. The raccoon would sneak up behind the dog, grab her backside and run away. The old dog would move to a new spot and sigh as she laid down again. This was before we owned a video camera otherwise we could have easily won the America's funniest video with this daily occurrence.

The other dog was only about 5 years old and did not have any patience for the wild rodent that had invaded her home. She was a black lab cross so these creatures were for hunting and killing as far as she was concerned. After some training, she came to realize that she was not allowed to harm this raccoon and it was a very confusing set up for her. So she came up with a solution. She moved into the closet. As soon as the racoon's cage door was opened, the Lab went to the bedroom and settled into the closet. A place of refuge and safety from the creature that she wanted to kill.

We often remember this situation when we talk about trying to avoid unpleasant things now. Laughing about how much better it would be if we could just move into the closet and ignore the unpleasantness, whatever it may be.

Well, the unpleasantness at the moment is the 'P' word. Our beautiful, almost 11 year old girl has been transformed by the 'P' word. Puberty. Lord help us!

All of a sudden there is drama everywhere. Anxiety is oozing out of her daily routine.

"What if I'm not really sorry for my sins?"; "How do I really know that God loves me?"; "How do I really know that I love Him or you?"; "Do you think boys notice me?"; "If I don't clean my room perfectly every time, is that disobedience?"

Every topic from God to boys to personal hygiene to daily chores is being questioned to death. If her father and I try to talk about anything in depth the tears start to fall. At one point, I sent her to her room for a full afternoon because I needed to breath for awhile.

I know, I know, this too shall pass. In the mean time pray for me! My patience is hanging on by a thread. My husband has moved into the closet.

A Decisive Man

As I mentioned in the previous posts about Hoss, he came home from hospital with a feeding tube in his nose(NG tube). I have hated that tube from the first week it was inserted. It was necessary in the beginning simply because Hoss did not have the 'natural' skill to suck, swallow, breath - in that order. For the first 2 1/2 weeks since he was born, Hoss received all his nutrition from an IV line. Once he started to wake up more, we needed to get his gastric system moving - so, tube in and he started taking 2ml of breast milk. Seriously, just 2ml (30ml = 1 ounce) to test out his digestion and elimination. It did increase quickly, and before too long he was receiving 80ml of breast milk through the tube every three hours.

Here is where the problem arose. The tube enters through Hoss' nose and goes down his esophagus and into his stomach. The tube is there constantly, so his stomach entry cannot close completely. This causes regurgitation and acid reflux. The tube can irritate the esophagus and cause increased mucous build up - this happens in the nose, too. Therefore, whether he took 2ml or 80ml of milk something always came back up. The smell of acid was prevalent in his burps and the coughing and sneezing could make him mad.

How is this tube a good thing?

Adding to the trouble with the presence of the tube, the hospital staff insisted on following a chart about the amount of intake rather than looking at Hoss as an individual. Remember, policy and procedure comes before common sense. Eventually, the hospital was increasing his intake to 115ml every four hours (I had to request that it be 4 hours apart vs. 3h) and immediately after the machine stopped pumping the milk into him, he would throw up at least 1/3 of it. The gurgle from his stomach was audible from a good distance and was quickly followed by a huge amount of spit up (change that, it wasn't a 'spit up' it was a throw up!)

All this I put up with in order to just get him home! I knew once I had him in my own house I could start adjusting his care to suit his needs. And that is exactly what I did. From the moment we walked in the door, Hoss' eating schedule was changed to every two hours at a total of 2 oz - I would work with him to take a whole ounce from a bottle and the remainder came through the tube. It was hard work and could be very frustrating. Really, a baby is supposed to know how to eat, right!?

The spit up still happened, but it was only small amounts - like any baby can have. However, Hoss was not progressing on the bottle very quickly. Part of his therapy was to encourage him to take a pacifier (to improve his suck), he did not like the 'doe-doe' as we call it. So the question remained, 'how are we ever going to get rid of the tube if Hoss won't take a bottle?'

I have found a few ladies on-line who had been through the experience. This brought mixed encouragement as some of their children have taken to the bottle after a few weeks of working on it, but some children are still on the tube after their 1st birthday! "Please God I don't want this tube here that long!"

One week to the day that we arrived home from hospital, Hoss was literally spitting out the nipple from his bottle each time it was offered to him. He was getting mad at me for sticking back in his mouth and I was getting frustrated with him for constantly turning his face into my chest.

Wait a minute...duh! Hoss was looking for the breast. So, I offered it to him half-heartily - not really expecting much. Then he nursed for 25 minutes in total. Go figure. All this time the experts were insisting the therapy with the bottle was the only way - and I was listening. Even an anti-socialist like me can get caught in the trap of ignorance. It took an infant to point it out to me!

From that point on, Hoss has chosen the breast over bottle. He is taking a doe-doe now, which is something I am most grateful for at 4 a.m. To top it all off, three days after he decided he would be a breast fed boy, he also pulled out the NG tube by himself. Which is good, because I might have received some prying questions from doctors if I had removed it. Did I mention how much I hated it?

Meet the tubeless wonder boy: First day at the beach!So there you have it...a little child shall lead them.

Policy and Procedure

Living in an institution can really bring the characteristics of a society to light. While Hoss was in different hospitals during his first 6 weeks of life, I was living in and around those hospitals, too. As both Hoss and I started to come out of our respective comas (his drug induced, mine emotionally induced), I started questioning different events that were directly affecting our situation - much to the chagrin of some of the medical staff.

The first incident involved the use of morphine on my little guy. Yes, I understand he would have a heck of a headache from the brain hemorrhage, but morphine is not a drug that I have ever appreciated. I have seen it do some nasty things to people and had some loopy moments myself on the one occasion that it was prescribed to me. So I asked for the plan to reduce it in Hoss' medication regime. The standard answer, "that's up to the doctor."

Well then...let's get hold of the doctor. I patiently listened to the doctor's explanation as to why the drug was implemented. Then asked again..."what is the plan to reduce it?"

Slowly the staff realizes I am not going to nod my head up and down at their 'expert' opinion and then they actually set a plan to reduce, then remove the drug from the medications that Hoss is taking. Excellent decision.

Keep in mind that I truly see SickKids hospital as a place that does incredible work with some amazing success stories. The staff are gentle and kind to parents as well as the patients. However, even the staff can become institutionalized in the way they operate. That means they stop thinking in individualized cases and stick to policies and procedure (or protocol is another word they like to use). Where I ran into the most difficulty with this lack of common sense in favour of policy and procedure was at the second, smaller hospital after leaving SickKids.

When an infant is born in hospital and has never been discharged to home, that infant is always placed in the hospital nursery rather than a general paediatric unit. So it was for us when transferred out of SickKids. The second hospital booked us right into their nursery that was set up to hold 6 infants at one time. However, during our two week stay that nursery held up to 10 babies because of sudden admissions from OB. It was tight quarters!

As Hoss began to improve, I found the situation inappropriate for his needs. Because of the many parents, visitors and staff coming and going through the nursery it was difficult for Hoss to concentrate on learning to take a bottle (I had given up on breastfeeding earlier and started expressing the milk due to the lack of privacy). The high number of babies in the nursery also made it nearly impossible for the staff to work with Hoss on his bottle when I was not there. It was much easier for the nurses to just plug him into the machine on his feeding tube. Therefore, I would spend four days at 12 - 14 hours in the nursery in the hospital working with Hoss to improve his feeding skills only to leave for two days at home and he would not have any practice at all.

(BTW this same problem occurs for the elderly that I have generally worked with in my former career. Therapy of any kind simply does not happen with hospital staffing levels. It isn't the nurses to blame, they simply do not have the time to put into therapy exercises. If a senior has a hip replaced, the exercises and walking practice simply do not occur with hospital staff. Which leads to the adage 'people do not get better in the hospital' - at least not where the extra time is needed.)

This gave rise to my approaching the staff about Hoss being moved out of the nursery to a general paediatric room where parents are expected to stay 24hours to provide the extra care. Once again I ran into the policy and procedure wall.

Doctor, with patient look of condescension, "it isn't the general practice to move an infant out of the nursery when they have never been discharged to home before"

Me: "I understand that, however, for Hoss it would beneficial to improving his feeding skills - which is the only thing left to work on before his discharge"

Doctor: "well, general paeds is considered to be more infectious because of the people being admitted from home. Hoss would be vulnerable to several new viruses. Now, if he doesn't progress on his intake at the bottle we may look at sending him home with the feeding tube in place. But, that would be in the future and isn't generally done either."

Me, with patience and polite tone: "Are you telling me that the nursery is less likely to have viruses enter it? This nursery that has 4 babies more than it is supposed to have, therefore 4 families more sharing the room all together. Plus all the visitors that come into the open nursery to visit all 10 babies and, because of the extra babies, the nurses that are currently working on both general paeds and in the nursery - when Hoss would have a private room in general paeds with just his own family visiting. How is this a better set up?"

Doctor, with stunned look replacing look of condescension, "well, I guess that does sound unreasonable when looked at it in that way...but, policy and procedure have been set up this way."

Me, working really hard not to be condescending: "Tell me who to talk to about changing policy and procedure for Hoss' best interests. He needs his mom here around the clock in order to provide his direct care. Unless anyone can guarantee that his occupational therapy will be completed properly even when I am not here."

Doctor, with look of resignation, "I'll see what we can do."

One day later, Hoss was moved to general paediatrics. The room had a pull out bed for me and was private - no roommates. The nurse on duty that day looked at me with an amused smile, "I do not know how you managed this, but I know that alot of moms in the nursery have asked before and have been told it does not happen. After all,..."

I finished her sentence for her, "I know...policy and procedure."

Hoss and I were in the hospital for four more days. We did get discharged home with the feeding because I pulled out the secret weapon that the 'experts' find hard to ignore.

"I am a nurse, after all." Never mind that I am an experienced mom that is confident in the care I provide to my child. Never mind that no one cares more about my son's health than myself and my husband. That would not have convinced the 'experts' to discharge us with what is considered a complex medical concern. However, being a nurse hits the right button and everyone breaths a big sigh of understanding.

After all, as a nurse I totally understand policy and procedure.

Seasons

This time of year the north brings some ugly sights. Yes, the grass is visible and buds are just starting to show on the branches, but the remainder of winter leaves an irrefutable 'yuck' in the last piles of snow that can be found on corners or just under clumps of trees. The problem is that this snow does not look like snow - the fresh, white, sparkling snow that we have had renewed each week since last November. It is dirty and a real eyesore to the landscape now. Each time I pass a pile of this leftover snow, I reminisce a little about the previous beauty of winter.


If I can be a little philosophical for a moment, it does remind me of how easily we can cover the filth in our lives with a good facade. This dirty snow was part of the winter landscape the whole time - it was just hidden under the surface of the fresh, clean snow. There are many times I am disappointed when someone's real character ends up being less than the sparkling snow I was presented with when I met them. You know, when the dirt in their life becomes more obvious after getting to know them better.


Our first impressions mean alot, that's true. However, if that first impression is just a thin layer of sparkle over some real dirt, two things are possible. First, eventually that dirt will be visible to those who become close to us. Second, we are so aware of our dirt that we refuse to let anyone get close to us in order to keep hiding it. Neither choice is a real glory to God.


There is no denying that we all have this lower layer of dirt. Thankfully the Lord has a much better way to cover it in a much more permanent way than the freshly driven snow!

Thou has forgiven the iniquity of thy people, thou hast covered all their sins. Selah.

Psalm 85:2

I'm still here - I barely make it behind the steering wheel, so where would I go? OK, so far it's only 16lbs added - much better than when I carried Duck 10 years ago! My husband take a little too much pleasure in snapping these side shots.

I do like being pregnant. Please excuse me while I search out something crunchy...no, spicey...no, maybe salty...hmmmm

Living in the Fast Lane

Wanna know a fast way to feel really stupid? Try to program your computer. Yep, that's what we have been doing for a week now. The computer guy put a new operating system on for us, but we decided to program all the hardware ourselves (because we are cheap). How hard can it be, we asked ourselves. Unbelievably hard!

What we have realized through the process is that these computer guys got together and created their own language with back slashes, colons and short forms that make absolutely no sense to the common person. We could not have had a harder time if we had removed our brains before we started - actually, that may have helped!

In the end, the computer is running well. A new system has us on high speed for internet that also delivers our phone line, as well - no more Bell bills! The high speed is great for accomplishing tasks quickly and even listening to speakers/sermons on line. We have lost our program for watching/recording tv, though. The old operating system (Vista) had the program built in, and we used it alot. We did manage to put on a much simpler tv program, but there is no remote control (gasp!) and we haven't quite figured out how to work it, yet. So we'll still be roughing it in that area.

I have several posts ideas written out to share with the blog world. Now to find the time to do it...

I'll Be Back

Right now we are having our computer rebuilt - to be better, faster...and more expensive. I have spent the last few days copying everything important onto CD because the computer guy is wiping the system clean and putting on a new operating system, as well as some new hardware.

Call it an impromptu internet fast, ala Jennifer at Conversion Diary. Kind of a forced fast, really. I think of things to share here on the blog several times daily and then remember it has to wait. Knowing my memory these days, I've had to implement the old fashion blog - pen and paper!

Hopefully, the technology will cooperate (HA!) and I will have my computer back soon. Think of me!

Living on 'Time'

I'm not really a fan of Oprah. She certainly seems to be a nice woman with her heart set on helping people. Just helping in a temporal, worldy sense vs. an eternal and biblical sense. It's just that the few times I catch parts of her talk show, I'm left with a feeling of frustration in the 'help' she does offer.

The other day I was folding laundry and clicked on the TV for a little side entertainment - and there she was with her concerned expression for her guest. The woman sitting with her was describing how she had been living a fairytale life on Park Avenue with her investment banker husband and 3 kids with gala dinner parties among their affluent friends. Until one day she found her husband preparing a noose for himself in the middle of the night. She stated that it was only at that moment that her husband confessed that he had been indicted by the feds for fraud and was going to jail that very morning. Up to that point, as they talked over the noose, the guest stated that she had had no idea that there was anything wrong (oh, except her suspicions of her husband's marital affairs that she chose to ignore to keep the peace in their marriage).

Oprah: "So, how did you become so oblivious to these events with your husband?"

HMMM...because she chose to ignore those signs of trouble, just like she chose to ignore the affairs?

Or, because she was completely wrapped up in the parties and shopping and didn't really care to know any details?

Nope.

Apparently, the reason she was taken so much by surprise was because she was "in the fog of motherhood".

What?

Did she just say motherhood makes you stupid?

In fact, that was exactly what she was saying.

As she continued to talk, I stopped folding laundry. It seems because she had her 3 kids so close together, she ended up "surrendering" her independent, educated self to become "foolishly" dependent on her husband.

I don't want to shock anyone, but I have a different theory on what happened in this situation. Let's call it the credit vs. cash theory for marriage and life.

We have all heard how people have sunk in debt because they chose to live on credit. All the "experts" have taken up news time to explain the benefits of only using cash for purchases - getting rid of credit and debit cards in order to live on actual income, rather than borrowed. It's amazing to me that these experts spent so much time in school to learn this radical way of thinking. (Matthew 18:25)

This same cash vs. credit theory works for marriage and life, too. If we look at this woman's life, she enjoyed the perks of her Park Avenue lifestyle, however talked of nothing as far as a relationship with her husband (outside of the suspected affars). She like living on 'credit' - the image of having it all and the outside appearance of being affluent, whether she was actually affluent or not. She never really wanted to live on 'cash' for her life and marriage. Looking at the 'cash' - the reality - would mess up her image of herself. It isn't that she "surrendered" her independence to her husband in a loving, trusting marriage. She surrendered any wisdom she may have had for folly. (Proverbs 1:7 & 22)

Admitting that fact would be accepting true fault in the situation. Blaming the "fog of motherhood" removes personal blame a step away - "if only I wasn't a mother, I would have known what was happening". Certainly true motherhood takes up your day - and there are times when a mother may feel disorganized & disconnected. However, not to the extent of ending an active relationship with our husbands.

Of course, Oprah explained all this to her guest. NOT. Their discussion ended with how the woman got her life back by rejoining the workforce. Oh, yeah and dumping that awful husband.

Motherhood on the backburner. Marriage forgotten. A perfect life for an independent educated self - at least in the "fog of Oprahland".

Oh, the Pressure!

I am not spending alot time on the computer as of late and I turn it on this morning to find 10 messages! My apologies to those of you who asked questions, I will spend time this evening updating things. Thank you all for your encouragement - and the fact that you share some my trials (and laughter) is always a good feeling.

With this growing belly, I am having a hard time sitting at the keyboard, but I would love for each of you to visit when you can. Sometimes...occasionally...well, every now and then I have good ideas for posts.

I also look forward to visiting any sites that my visitors have...so, I may be lurking!

A thank you to Jennifer for linking some of you!

A Quick Link

Jasmine, over at Joyfully Home, is running a giveaway - and I want to win! She has written a short review about 'Homeschool Dropouts', a new video from Western Conservatory. If you are interested in entering to win one of these videos, just click the link - here.

Assumptions

We all do it. When we look at a stranger in a crowd that is dressed in an unusual manner, or speaking loudly, or is just plain...well, weird.

I know I do it even with those around who aren't really strangers - just acquaintances. Then I think I know all I need to know about them to set my opinion. However, if I'm being truthful, my opinions are based on assumptions. Then my interaction with these people is affected by my assumptive opinion. Not alot of love in that habit. Especially when compared to how the Lord chose to interact with me without any assumptions - He already knew everything about me!

That admission to a bad habit generally isn't enough to change it. Unfortunately my bad habits stick with me until God gets tired of waiting for me to improve. This is an example of becoming the victim of my own habit.

Without a doubt there are those in my small community who are making great assumptions about me right now. There are groups who assume this pregnancy was an 'accident' and, therefore, unwanted. There are groups who assume that after years of disappointment, I must have used special medical intervention to become pregnant. There are still others who assume that my Pastor (who is known to stand firm on God's sovereignty of the womb, and has encouraged other couples to seek this out scripturally) has talked my husband and I into this pregnancy - you know, convinced us to be more 'righteous'.

All these groups include both Christians and non. All assuming they know the 'why' of this pregnancy. They do not know me very well. They do not discuss their assumptions with me face-to-face. Just like me and my assumption habit.

Thou hast beset me behind and before, and laid thine hand upon me. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me; it is high, I cannot attain unto it.

Psalm 139: 5&6

No, I shouldn't make my opinions based on my assumptions of someone's outward appearance. I have no idea what is in their heart. Will I be able to change this bad habit? Well, I'm working on it - with God's help!

Search me, O God, and know my heart: try me, and know my thoughts: And see if there be any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.

Psalm 139: 23 & 24

Back Soon

I know it is only a few minutes into Christmas day - but MERRY CHRISTMAS!

I am sure everyone is busy over the next few days, as are we, but I will let you know that my gift from my (AND to my husband) is a trip to Niagara Falls. We very rarely buy items for each other at Christmas, mostly we choose to purchase 'something' for the family. Our choice this year was the trip.

So...have a wonderful week, and I will bring some pictures back with me.

(P.S. Andrea, your comments don't get lost, I am just very slow at getting to the computer recently. Don't worry, eventually it gets done.)

Memories

I had forgotten how quickly pregnancy makes me feel fat. Just coming to the end of the first trimester and I'm not able to wear alot of my pants and skirts. They still fit fine, and I haven't gained any weight, but the waistbands drive me crazy - even track pants with elastic waistbands.

So over several weeks now, I have purchased some 'Trucker Bob' pants. A term my loving husband has labelled them. I fondly remember a pair of brown, corduroy maternity pants I had when I was pregnant with Duck. They were ugly - seriously, the ugliest pants you could imagine, but the most comfortable!

It seems maternity wear has not progressed much as far as esthetics. I am sure if I wanted to go to the high-end stores and spend a fortune on clothes (that I will only wear for another year) maybe there would be some real fashion treasures. However, Value Village and a little consignment shop called Once Upon a Child have provided 3 bottoms and several tops for the same (or lesser) price of one outfit at a 'maternity' shop. The choice between frugal or vanity is pretty easy for me. Just call me 'Bob'.

Seize the Day!

I know, I know it isn't a biblical saying. Although, I think this particular sentiment is found in scripture regularly. The prophets and apostles never ignored the opportunity to speak out for Christ's glory - and Paul wrote to several of the churches with urgency to change and grow now not later. We had a lesson in this today.


Today, we tossed school aside to take hold of an opportunity to help a complete stranger. It all started on Thanksgiving weekend when a large apartment complex near our home was on fire. It was such a spectacular sight that most of the town was out to see it - I even got Duck out of bed to walk over. Most people were there to help the more than 150 residents of the building that were soon to realize they were homeless. Not having anything to offer at that time, Duck and I went home and talked about how an event like this can show us how easily our 'stuff' can disappear but, at the same time, why we are so thankful for what we do have in this world.


Then this morning we received a phone call from a woman from our church. She was trying to get some help organized for a woman who had lived in the burned out building. Could we come down and help her clean out anything that still remained in her apartment? Absolutely!


Um...okay, maybe I didn't exactly jump at the chance...my first thought was 'what about school?' If I fall behind this early in the year, it sets a bad precedent for the rest of the year - should I really be leaving to clean out someone elses' house when I haven't done my vaccuuming yet? All these thoughts were pretty selfish, I know. My husband quickly squashed them and volunteered us all for the job. So I quickly got over it and agreed to go.


When we arrived, two teen boys from church were already carrying furniture out of the building. Our job was to wrap any ceramics, china or pack up books and clothes that survived the fire. The smell was awful and the sight of the hallway and apartments was incredible. Paint peeling off the walls, floor tiles lifts up, ceiling panels crumbled to the ground - and this was the part of the building that was not touched by fire. This was all water and smoke damage. Walking through reminded me of the conversation Duck and I had spoken on the night of the fire. We really are blessed.


I am so thankful that we could help, even in a small way. Most of all, I am thankful that when we arrived back home my husband read Matthew 25 to Duck and remind us that anything we do "for the least" is done for the glory of God. The woman we helped claims to be saved, but has limited knowledge of scripture or practical day to day living for the Lord. She likely (I didn't delve into details) lives on welfare, is a serious smoker and displayed a 'woe-is-me' attitude all day. However, with no family in the area and significant health problems, there was no way she could have recovered any belongings on her own. She was very grateful for the help - but that wasn't why we did it.

When the Son of man shall come in all his glory, and all the holy angels with him, then shall he sit upon his throne of glory:

Add before him shall be gathered all nations: and he shall seperate them one from another, as a shepherd divideth his sheep from the goats:

And he shall set the sheep on his right hand, but the goats on the left.

Then shall the King say unto them on his right hand, Come ye blessed of my Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world:

Matthew 25:31 - 34

When it comes time for the sheep to be seperated from the goats - I want to be on the sheep side of the divide! It is hard for me to leave my schedule behind, put away school and jump at the chance to help a stranger, who may or may not be thankful. Hopefully, prayerfully, God will continue to remind me why I should do it and why I should show it to my daughter.

Thanksgiving Lilies

A lovely surprise for the fall. These were the potted Easter Lilies from our church - after they had finished blooming in the spring, I asked my pastor if I could take them home. They are annuals and I knew they would bloom for me next year: However, as I let them sprout up in height, I noticed back in mid-September that they were promising to flower again - if the frost didn't take them out first! Then, just before leaving for camping, one of the blooms opened up. Now several of them have followed suit:

This shot shows how tall the stalks have become - see the tallest stalk has unopen blooms on it, as well. Hopefully they all have a chance to open before the snow flies. I could have freshly cut lilies on my Thanksgiving table! (Canadian Thanksgiving is the second weekend in October)

Love This

A great saying:

A woman should be so lost in serving God that a man must seek Him to find her.

I'd say that applies to those who are single and married!