Thursday, January 7, 2010


We all do it. When we look at a stranger in a crowd that is dressed in an unusual manner, or speaking loudly, or is just plain...well, weird.

I know I do it even with those around who aren't really strangers - just acquaintances. Then I think I know all I need to know about them to set my opinion. However, if I'm being truthful, my opinions are based on assumptions. Then my interaction with these people is affected by my assumptive opinion. Not alot of love in that habit. Especially when compared to how the Lord chose to interact with me without any assumptions - He already knew everything about me!

That admission to a bad habit generally isn't enough to change it. Unfortunately my bad habits stick with me until God gets tired of waiting for me to improve. This is an example of becoming the victim of my own habit.

Without a doubt there are those in my small community who are making great assumptions about me right now. There are groups who assume this pregnancy was an 'accident' and, therefore, unwanted. There are groups who assume that after years of disappointment, I must have used special medical intervention to become pregnant. There are still others who assume that my Pastor (who is known to stand firm on God's sovereignty of the womb, and has encouraged other couples to seek this out scripturally) has talked my husband and I into this pregnancy - you know, convinced us to be more 'righteous'.

All these groups include both Christians and non. All assuming they know the 'why' of this pregnancy. They do not know me very well. They do not discuss their assumptions with me face-to-face. Just like me and my assumption habit.

Thou hast beset me behind and before, and laid thine hand upon me. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me; it is high, I cannot attain unto it.
Psalm 139: 5&6
No, I shouldn't make my opinions based on my assumptions of someone's outward appearance. I have no idea what is in their heart. Will I be able to change this bad habit? Well, I'm working on it - with God's help!
Search me, O God, and know my heart: try me, and know my thoughts: And see if there be any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.
Psalm 139: 23 & 24


Happy Hermit ( said...

Oh , I understand that so much. I get the - Why Nots - a lot but why don't i have more babies , don't you know birth control is evil etc etc. Meanwhile I am suffering through an early menopause and a hormonal shift that leaves me unable to have babies even if i wanted one. Ergg - I guess it goes many ways.

Mrs. Parunak said...

I think this is a bad habit that everyone needs to work on. I know I do! We see things. We make connections. Those connections may or may not have any basis in reality, but we've already decided what's "true." And those assumptions can hurt people. Thanks for the reminder.

Jennifer @ Conversion Diary said...

I can relate to this on so many different levels. I share this same bad habit, and yet I am also frequently on the other end of it, judged by people who think they know the whole story but actually don't know much of it at all (when it comes to pregnancy, no less).

Thank you for sharing. Also, one of your posts is on my "best of 2009" list that I just posted. Thank you for a great blog!

lindsay said...

And yet you assume a woman who's apartment burned down isn't "really" saved and "probably" is on welfare. I felt bile rise in my throat when you accused her of having a "woe is me attitude. Her house had just burned down! I would like to see anyone handle that without at least a little trace of woe is me. Honestly I think you really need to search your heart and see if God is working on you to improve your empathy and humility. You seem very self centered and prideful. If you react with indignation and anger towhat I've said, well then, I guess that just proves my point that God might be prickling your conscience.

Kim from Canada said...

Lindsay, Lindsay, Lindsay,
Relax. I admitted in the post to having a bad habit in my own assumptions. Hopefully, you can admit the same in your own have made huge assumptions on this site.