Monday, November 30, 2009

Occupational Hazards

My doctor is mad at me. Well...annoyed is probably a better description. This is a small town and the medical community is even smaller. So my doctor and I travel some of the same circles and associate with common people. Therefore, it was only a matter of time before he heard that I was pregnant.

His receptionist called me at home to set up an initial prenatal appointment and I could hear the tone of his voice in hers. Especially when I started arguing that it wasn't necessary to come in to the office yet. At the time, I was only 8 weeks along.

It isn't that, as a nurse, I think I know everything. It's just that I see no need to have my doctor tell me what I do already know...

Prenatal vitamins: check
Monitor weight: check
Moderate exercise: check
Proper nutrition: check

Other than that, the first prenatal includes blood tests that check for pregnancy or infections and to establish my blood type. All of which I also already know. So why hurry in?

That would be my personal philosophy on all my medical needs. If I have signs & symptoms of cold or flu, I live through it without ever discussing it with my doctor. Even if unusual symptoms become part of my days, I generally ignore it and wait to see if it goes away. That is sort of how he found out about this pregnancy so early on.

For several weeks (OK, months) I was having pain just below my left shoulder. When I finally went in for an appointment, my doctor scolded me - literally. I presented weak arguments that I do take these things seriously and I do understand the possibility of potential disease, but my trust isn't in the medical sciences. My trust is in the Lord for whatever may be happening to my body.

I get a blank stare., and an order for a mammogram.

Well, by the time I got around to actually going in for the mammo, I was pregnant - which means the test cannot be completed. Then the hospital staff calls the doctor's office and tattle-tales on me, and the doctor calls me and that brings us back to the phone call.

After a lengthy discussion with the receptionist, we agreed on an appointment date after my 1st trimester was up. She probably got in trouble for letting me convince her to put it off.

Anyway, the appointment is this week (which is actually my 13th week, not quite the 2nd trimester, so I did compromise!). Now, I prepare myself for the lecture. Really, I don't think I know everything. However, I do know God is in charge. So why worry?

My Husband is Trying to Kill Me!

Okay, maybe that is a slight exaggeration...slight. He's been reading a magazine that talks alot about 'unschooling'. That's the philosophy of home education where there is no curriculum. That means NO SCHEDULING! That would be the part that could kill me.

He's thinking we could start using this as a practical way to encourage different skills for Duck. Forget the books, forget timeframes, just work through individual projects. Can you hear me hyperventilating?

The idea of removing structured learning is kind of scary. What if we forget to teach something really important? What if the school board decides to test all homeschool students and Duck is no longer able to work through test? What am I going to do without a daily schedule?!

OK. Breathe.

My husband asked me to consider the idea and we've come to a compromise. Text books in the morning and practical projects after lunch. The projects we are looking at are sewing, meal preparation, grocery budgeting, photography, etc. By setting each project up as a unit study, Duck will need to work each one from beginning to end and include math, english/reading, research, etc.

I am sure there will be bumps along the way. I am also sure that I 'can do all things through Christ who strengthens me' long as I can keep some form of a schedule.

Friday, November 27, 2009


I had forgotten how quickly pregnancy makes me feel fat. Just coming to the end of the first trimester and I'm not able to wear alot of my pants and skirts. They still fit fine, and I haven't gained any weight, but the waistbands drive me crazy - even track pants with elastic waistbands.

So over several weeks now, I have purchased some 'Trucker Bob' pants. A term my loving husband has labelled them. I fondly remember a pair of brown, corduroy maternity pants I had when I was pregnant with Duck. They were ugly - seriously, the ugliest pants you could imagine, but the most comfortable!

It seems maternity wear has not progressed much as far as esthetics. I am sure if I wanted to go to the high-end stores and spend a fortune on clothes (that I will only wear for another year) maybe there would be some real fashion treasures. However, Value Village and a little consignment shop called Once Upon a Child have provided 3 bottoms and several tops for the same (or lesser) price of one outfit at a 'maternity' shop. The choice between frugal or vanity is pretty easy for me. Just call me 'Bob'.

Friday, November 20, 2009

Little Sparkles of Joy

There is no snow yet. It does effect the whole Christmas spirit thing and I haven't had the inclination to take out any decorations, except for some snowflakes that Duck and I made. Then tonight, we went for a drive after dark - which comes as early as 4:45 p.m.!

We drove through town and then down the highways to next village. We were met with pretty sights dotting the darkness. Christmas lights twinkling in different colours. What a sight! What a quick way to raise the spirits!

The next time you're feeling the green Christmas blues, take a ride after dark. You won't regret it!

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Not Again!

Please, no! Not another discussion on the quiverful debate. I can't take it!

Too many times this debate deteriorates into "the mom with the most kids wins", or "the more children you have the more righteous you are". Of course, if this were true, than women who have twins or other multiples would need to be praised alot more than women who give birth to one measly child at a time.

Lo, children are an heritage of the Lord: and the fruit of the womb is his reward. Psalm 127:3

Of course children are a blessing when raised in God's way. But go back to verses 1 & 2 of this Psalm. Only God can put the building in motion for an actual heritage. 'It is vain' for any of us to concern ourselves with the number of arrows in our quiver. For a 'mighty man' (specifically a godly man) can raise up and shoot off the perfect arrow with great aim - even if he only has one. The true quiverful issue lies with trusting God for the number of arrows with which He blesses the womb.

I, as a mother of one beautiful 10 year old, cannot stand the foolishness that surrounds these discussions. Whether it is people who scorn at large families with the worldly arguments of overpopulation; or those who use every scientific means possible (surgeries, medications, surrogates) to give birth over and over. It is a lack of trust that fuels each of these opposing views. A lack of trust that the Lord knows what He is doing.

I have learned that lesson of faith. I didn't have any choice, God built my faith in this area. Ten years without further children sent me to the scriptures many times! I prayed and laid my desires at God's throne, always with the understanding of "Thy will be done". There were plenty of times I considered placing my will over His - after all God allows all these medical technologies to exist - doesn't He expect us to use them? Non-christians are given babies all the time and hand them over to the prince of this world - it's only right and fair that I force my womb to produce more children for His glory. Right?

Even with all the arguments I had with myself I couldn't do it. I know it would be done for my glory - or the glory for some doctor, but not God's glory. I know that there is nothing wrong with my body that God cannot fix if that is His will.

So for ten years, I wait for an answer. For ten years God has built my trust in Him that has affected many areas of my life and can now be passed on to my daughter with confidence.

A lesson that He obviously wanted me to learn. Because now I'm 40 years old and pregnant.

That's right - no grandstanding intended. This is for God's glory! No explanation, no warning. Just pregnant. Eleven weeks today, actually. And the most excited person in the house is the 10 year big sister.

How's that for a story on the building of faith and answered prayer?

Thursday, November 5, 2009

Hanging In...

I'm still here in blogland, occasionally. However, I'm doing more reading than writing this last month. It seems I am in need of some encouragement - and, I am finding it.

God is gracious with me. He has provided some encouragement in the real world, too. After my last post explaining my disillusionment with the christian people around me, one of the women at my church asked me about starting up the ladies' study. I explained that I was not looking at starting a group study, but would be happy to be part of one that someone else may want to start. After a short conversation (where my doubt believed she was looking for a way to get out of the suggestion she had made), she actually suggested a one-on-one study between the two of us.


We are currently seeking a study that we will both enjoy sharing together - and I am looking forward to it.

There are other great things to write about - things that have kept me away from my keyboard, but I will get back in the saddle soon!