Monday, September 14, 2009

Where Socialism Leads

The following excerpts are from an article in our local paper - this author is actually syndicated, so you may have already seen this piece. This type of information always makes me shake my head, but there are those among our population that will read it and take it completely seriously. Why? Only because someone who is 'educated' spouted these gems:

'I have a report before me from the University of North Carolina warning about a kiddies' minefield that your offspring may be playing in right now.

Yes, I am talking about "the beach." Did you know that beach goers who innocently build sandcastles or fill pails with beach sand are 13 per cent more likely to suffer a stomach ailment - and 20 per cent more likely to get diarrhea?

Are you one of those sun idolaters who mindlessly let their kids bury each other up to their nostrils in sand? Loser. The study says your kids have 24 per cent better chance of suffering gastrointestinal distress than that sensible family in their Sunday church clothes whose feet never leave the boardwalk. Meanwhile, your kids might as well be playing Russian roulette with a Glock nine mil.

As Chris Heaney, the study's lead author, so wisely warns us: "the beach is not a sterile environment." Who knew?

It's not just the beach, of course. Kiddy traps lurk everywhere, just waiting to snare the unwary. That's why school kids in Chicago recently got to sit through a 20 minute lecture on the dangers of the hula hoop. Meanwhile, an elementary school in Attleboro, Massachusetts has prudently banned the game of tag on school grounds because, as the principal points out, "accidents can happen."

He's right - and they can happen anywhere. That's why it's now possible to buy lid locks for your toilet seats (what if little Ashton or Kimberly fell in and drowned?). There is also a market for tiny gloves and mini-kneepads specifically designed to protect your wee ones during their first crawling experience across the perilous, hazard-strewn, bacteria-ridden war zone also known as the living room floor.

Just nutty Americans, you think? Think again. Last month the chief medical officer for the Vancouver Island Health Authority went public about the dangers of...

Roasting marshmallows.

Dr. Richard Stanwick counsels that children sitting around a campfire should:
- apply hand sanitizer before selecting a marshmallow;
- sterilize their roasting twig before impaling marshmallow thereon;
- use clean tissue to carefully remove carbon from twig;
- put clean marshmallow on clean stick with clean hand and proceed.

Hold it! The doctor's not finished! He also warns to be wary of ingesting molten marshmallows.

"If there's a flame coming out of it, it's probably too hot", he says.

Ya think, doc?"

The author of the news article, Arthur Black, is generally a tongue-in-cheek kind of guy. That's why I enjoy reading him.

How does socialism play into all this foolishness. For starters, these studies were paid for with government money - our tax money. Also, as I pointed out in the beginning, there are people who take this stuff seriously. People who believe that the good 'doctors', or anyone with a piece of paper declaring them to be 'educated', know more about parenting than parents.

Someone, somewhere will read these studies (and others like them) and then criticize a parent for taking their kids to the beach without wrapping them up sterile scuba suits and surgical masks. Someone, somewhere will be treated like an ignorant or dangerous parent because the recommendations of these studies are not implemented into their child-rearing tactics as if it is gospel.

Take note - worldly wisdom may sound completely ludicrous, but someone is listening. Maybe we, who have the benefit of Godly wisdom, need to start speaking louder.


Lori said...

Speaking of listening to "expert" advice, I just learned that Dr. Spock's advice in his book changed the way babies were slept, and tummy-sleep became the standard. He was just guessing based on his intuition. And SIDS went up. As we now know from actual studies, back-sleeping is the likeliest way to help prevent SIDS.


Mrs. Parunak said...

That article was so funny, but your point at the end was also absolutely great--and thought-provoking. People are listening to that nonsense and even making laws based on it.