Friday, January 29, 2010

You Just Never Know

So much of this pregnancy has been the same as my first. I very rarely felt nauseous; I never throw up; and have similar cravings (tomatoes and pineapples - not together). So I have convinced myself that this was another girl. I know...not very scientific, but really, with only one pregnancy to go by it seems logical.

A little over a week ago, I had my first ultrasound. My friend, Lesley and Duck and I drove to the hospital with anticipation of seeing the baby for the first time. My husband and I had already chosen her name...Topanga Grace. The first name means 'unexpected' - get it? Unexpected grace! Which we thought was pretty cool. The ultrasound was just giving us confirmation to call her by name starting now.

Well, I was on that table for 45 minutes. The baby would not hold still for pictures (in fact, I have to go for a follow up u/s next week to try for better measurements). After about half way through, I had to ask to change position and the technician started talking about what she was seeing. At that point, I mentioned that we did want to confirm the gender if she could see that.

"Oh, I already know that.", she says with a grin.

"Can you tell me, or do I have to wait.", I ask as I bite my tongue to be patient with her.

"Sure, definitely a boy."

Uh-oh.

I was wrong. Something so rare I was speechless for a moment ;o)

So now the dilemma. We had no boy names prepared. Oh sure, we had tossed a few around in a casual manner early on...and there were some names we had considered in previous times. However, to officially be having a boy brings out the serious discussions! So here is a list of some of the top contenders. For the sake of being fair, I won't tell you which are mine, which are my husband's, or which are Duck's choices.

Comments and suggestions are encouraged!

Benjamin

Caleb

Isaiah

Jeremiah

Makobe (ma - KO - bee) - it means river, but mostly it is a combination of Mack and Jacob

Sullivan

We certainly talk about alot of others, but these are the ones that keep coming forward.

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Still Cute After All These Years


Many years ago, probably when Duck was about 3 years old, she was famous for singing songs with her version of words. For instance, one that is always remembered fondly by my husband and I:
"it's amazing what praising can do...halla-lube-ya, halla-lube-ya!"
Now, at the great old age of 10, she is such a little lady. Well spoken, generally articulate and a good sense of humour. Also, still a real singer. The other day she was humming in the back seat of the car as we were headed for home:
"in the meadow we can build a snowman, and pretend that he is possum Brown..."
I guess she's unfamiliar with the word parson. Just a reminder that she is still a kid, and just as cute as when she was three.

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Growing Apart

It happens in every marriage, I can't admit to being really surprised it is happening to mine. Some might think I should be more saddened by my husband and I growing apart, except I'm not talking about an emotional situation.

No. This is a physical thing that we have both noticed in the last couple of weeks. You see, I am taller than my husband by a small amount, but we have always managed to compromise about the position of the driver's seat in the car. Not anymore.

Either he is getting shorter or...OK, it's me. I'm the problem. At 20 weeks pregnant, I no longer can fit behind the wheel of the car without adjusting the seat. Everytime my husband gets into the driver's seat after I have been using the car, he can't reach to push in the clutch.

Actually, my repositioning of the seat is a bench mark for when I won't be able to work anymore. When I was pregnant with Duck all those years ago, I remember the day there was no posibility of driving anymore. That point is still awhile away - but that is when I need help to grocery shop, visit friends and go to work.

Never mind tying my own shoes, Duck is here for that when I need her, but soliciting for chauffeurs is another case altogether! I'll let you know when I get there!

Friday, January 15, 2010

Living on 'Time'

I'm not really a fan of Oprah. She certainly seems to be a nice woman with her heart set on helping people. Just helping in a temporal, worldy sense vs. an eternal and biblical sense. It's just that the few times I catch parts of her talk show, I'm left with a feeling of frustration in the 'help' she does offer.

The other day I was folding laundry and clicked on the TV for a little side entertainment - and there she was with her concerned expression for her guest. The woman sitting with her was describing how she had been living a fairytale life on Park Avenue with her investment banker husband and 3 kids with gala dinner parties among their affluent friends. Until one day she found her husband preparing a noose for himself in the middle of the night. She stated that it was only at that moment that her husband confessed that he had been indicted by the feds for fraud and was going to jail that very morning. Up to that point, as they talked over the noose, the guest stated that she had had no idea that there was anything wrong (oh, except her suspicions of her husband's marital affairs that she chose to ignore to keep the peace in their marriage).

Oprah: "So, how did you become so oblivious to these events with your husband?"

HMMM...because she chose to ignore those signs of trouble, just like she chose to ignore the affairs?

Or, because she was completely wrapped up in the parties and shopping and didn't really care to know any details?

Nope.

Apparently, the reason she was taken so much by surprise was because she was "in the fog of motherhood".

What?

Did she just say motherhood makes you stupid?

In fact, that was exactly what she was saying.

As she continued to talk, I stopped folding laundry. It seems because she had her 3 kids so close together, she ended up "surrendering" her independent, educated self to become "foolishly" dependent on her husband.

I don't want to shock anyone, but I have a different theory on what happened in this situation. Let's call it the credit vs. cash theory for marriage and life.

We have all heard how people have sunk in debt because they chose to live on credit. All the "experts" have taken up news time to explain the benefits of only using cash for purchases - getting rid of credit and debit cards in order to live on actual income, rather than borrowed. It's amazing to me that these experts spent so much time in school to learn this radical way of thinking. (Matthew 18:25)

This same cash vs. credit theory works for marriage and life, too. If we look at this woman's life, she enjoyed the perks of her Park Avenue lifestyle, however talked of nothing as far as a relationship with her husband (outside of the suspected affars). She like living on 'credit' - the image of having it all and the outside appearance of being affluent, whether she was actually affluent or not. She never really wanted to live on 'cash' for her life and marriage. Looking at the 'cash' - the reality - would mess up her image of herself. It isn't that she "surrendered" her independence to her husband in a loving, trusting marriage. She surrendered any wisdom she may have had for folly. (Proverbs 1:7 & 22)

Admitting that fact would be accepting true fault in the situation. Blaming the "fog of motherhood" removes personal blame a step away - "if only I wasn't a mother, I would have known what was happening". Certainly true motherhood takes up your day - and there are times when a mother may feel disorganized & disconnected. However, not to the extent of ending an active relationship with our husbands.

Of course, Oprah explained all this to her guest. NOT. Their discussion ended with how the woman got her life back by rejoining the workforce. Oh, yeah and dumping that awful husband.

Motherhood on the backburner. Marriage forgotten. A perfect life for an independent educated self - at least in the "fog of Oprahland".

Oh, the Pressure!

I am not spending alot time on the computer as of late and I turn it on this morning to find 10 messages! My apologies to those of you who asked questions, I will spend time this evening updating things. Thank you all for your encouragement - and the fact that you share some my trials (and laughter) is always a good feeling.

With this growing belly, I am having a hard time sitting at the keyboard, but I would love for each of you to visit when you can. Sometimes...occasionally...well, every now and then I have good ideas for posts.

I also look forward to visiting any sites that my visitors have...so, I may be lurking!

A thank you to Jennifer for linking some of you!

Sunday, January 10, 2010

A Quick Link

Jasmine, over at Joyfully Home, is running a giveaway - and I want to win! She has written a short review about 'Homeschool Dropouts', a new video from Western Conservatory. If you are interested in entering to win one of these videos, just click the link - here.

Thursday, January 7, 2010

Assumptions

We all do it. When we look at a stranger in a crowd that is dressed in an unusual manner, or speaking loudly, or is just plain...well, weird.

I know I do it even with those around who aren't really strangers - just acquaintances. Then I think I know all I need to know about them to set my opinion. However, if I'm being truthful, my opinions are based on assumptions. Then my interaction with these people is affected by my assumptive opinion. Not alot of love in that habit. Especially when compared to how the Lord chose to interact with me without any assumptions - He already knew everything about me!

That admission to a bad habit generally isn't enough to change it. Unfortunately my bad habits stick with me until God gets tired of waiting for me to improve. This is an example of becoming the victim of my own habit.

Without a doubt there are those in my small community who are making great assumptions about me right now. There are groups who assume this pregnancy was an 'accident' and, therefore, unwanted. There are groups who assume that after years of disappointment, I must have used special medical intervention to become pregnant. There are still others who assume that my Pastor (who is known to stand firm on God's sovereignty of the womb, and has encouraged other couples to seek this out scripturally) has talked my husband and I into this pregnancy - you know, convinced us to be more 'righteous'.

All these groups include both Christians and non. All assuming they know the 'why' of this pregnancy. They do not know me very well. They do not discuss their assumptions with me face-to-face. Just like me and my assumption habit.

Thou hast beset me behind and before, and laid thine hand upon me. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me; it is high, I cannot attain unto it.
Psalm 139: 5&6
No, I shouldn't make my opinions based on my assumptions of someone's outward appearance. I have no idea what is in their heart. Will I be able to change this bad habit? Well, I'm working on it - with God's help!
Search me, O God, and know my heart: try me, and know my thoughts: And see if there be any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.
Psalm 139: 23 & 24

Monday, January 4, 2010

A Vacation in Pictures

Obviously, after so many celebrations and a vacation away there are well over a hundred pictures of the events. I had a hard time choosing which ones to share here, but have a look anyway - our first part of Christmas came when we visited my dad...One of the favourite activities at Grampa and Gramma's house is using the burn barrel!Christmas morning and the Duck just opened her first 'real' camera. A real hit for a present...and the reason we will have more pictures like this:And this...We joined our friends for a Christmas dinner and ate far too much - of course.These are the leftovers (and the mess!)Every year we put together a gift basket for the whole family - trying to get something for everyone. What would a gift basket be without some crazy string?The crazy string was everywhere and stuck on everyone. My husband and I were innocent bystanders!The end of the evening was saved for games. We played Settlers of Catan and the men enjoyed Extreme Jenga.

Then, on the 27th, we all headed for Niagara Falls. The whole vacation was relaxing and fun! For the kids it's all about the pool:There was a sun room in the hotel that we used as a personal buffet room for our group. Bringing the groceries cuts down on the expenses.Christmas in Niagara Falls means the Festival of Lights. There were hundreds of displays like the one below. It was cold for walking, but we bared it for one night to see the many displays. There was a blessing in the mix, too. The pool at the hotel was closed down for maintenance one day, so the manager offered us an extra night FREE! The kids were thrilled - OK, so were the adults.

Now, we are home and happy to be in our own beds. The dogs missed us. It is hard to imagine getting back into the routine of school tomorrow, but all vacations must come to an end. (Sigh)

Happy New Year!