Satan is picking away at me lately; picking at me in one of the most unlikely areas of faith in my life. My conviction that courtship is the only manner to raise my daughter to understand God's plan for marriage. I (and my husband) have studied this area inside-out and sideways. I wrote an allegorical story based on my studies and understanding. However, since my daughter is only 9 years old, I really did not think there would be trials and temptations over this conviction for several more years yet.
I was wrong.
I am tempted to despair as I watch yet another young woman at church give herself away to an unqualified young man. This young woman expressed a desire to study and grow in Christ. She proclaims salvation in clear, honest declaration. She has seen God work in her life in personal ways. Unfortunately, she does not have parents to lead and encourage her in remaining pure for marriage and she is slowly slipping into a self serving relationship with a young man who has absolutely no interest in God.
Are there young men out there that actually deserve these young women!? Are there parents out there who are raising their sons and daughters to follow God's plan for choosing a marriage partner AND remain pure until that person is found!? Must these beautiful and pure young women settle for average (and, quite frankly, useless) men?
We have several other young woman in our church who are maintaining their conviction for 'courtship'. They are succeeding with strong parental support and leadership. They have no men to choose from for their futures. I don't think any of us can fully understand the frustration they must feel as they keep their hearts and minds open for the young men God would have them take as husbands, all the while watching other acquaintances and friends give into the worlds way of dating/marriage.
If there are no young men being raised to be godly husbands and fathers for this current generation, where will my daughter find a husband when she is ready? When we pray for her future husband, are praying in vain?
No. Get behind me Satan. I refuse to allow the world to break my faith. There is a limit to my influence with other people's children, but I will continue to stand on the truths that God has shown me in His Word. I will continue to pray for those young women who are also standing faithful on their convictions and look forward to the blessing of seeing God work in their lives.
Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen. Hebrews 11:1
8 comments:
Amen!
I am with you...
I pray for my daughters everyday to hold true to God's word...I don't think it is an easy path for the youth these days even with strong parental support...
I have been at a lost at times over my own daughters decisions...they have been though right from wrong from a biblical perspective and from my own personal conviction but it still doesn't change that they have free will ...so I pray with all that I can...
Love your blog!
Nadine
We're certainly trying to raise our two boys to be godly husbands and fathers someday, should that be in God's plan. I'm just hoping there are still some godly, homemaking minded girls out there when the time comes. (I have two of those as well.)
Oh, Kim, my heart aches with you. I have seen this sort of thing over and over myself. Sometimes it's the lack of young men that seems insurmountable, and sometimes the lack of young women. So often the families who are faithful to raise their children for purity are spread out all over the country and even all over the world, so that it's hard to think of how the Lord can do His matchmaking job when the time comes. At our little church, there's a wonderful family with boys who are absolutely the highest quality you could ever hope for in a young man, and yet there are no girls for them (yet!) to marry when they grow up. These boys are 13 and 11, and the oldest girl outside of their own family is 6. I often find myself fretting about who they'll find when the time comes. Hey, how would you feel about your daughter marrying a Yankee? (Just kidding, mostly.) It can get discouraging. But you were absolutely right in the conclusion of your post. We have to trust the Lord. We have to do what's right. We don't want to end up like Lot's daughters thinking we have to make horrendous compromises because there's no one to marry. The families are out there, and even if they weren't, we would still have to follow the Lord.
Thank you, ladies, for chiming in on this matter.
Sandy, I know there have to be some parents who see the need to raise their sons (and daughters)on godly paths - right now we just have an abundance of young women and no young men. Just as Mrs. Parunak stated, sometimes it is a lack of qualified young women, too.
So, let us all continue to support each other to lead our children on a righteous path and let God deal with the future!
It is intresting that you post this. God has blessed me with four boys. I always wanted to have at least one girl. I was struggling that I didn't have any girls. Now, saying that I would NEVER not want anyone of my four boys. I was praying once asking God why. And he answered in a whispher...because you are to raise 4 godly men. That is where I got my name of my blog. [0= From God himself. I am raising my boys to save themselves for their future wife and in the meantime to prepare themselves. I have one who is courting with her parents and us. God is good and I am thankful our Lord has come along side us in this journey.
Blessings in Him<><
-Mary
I do think that there are many boys being raised to be godly men - just a look around homeschoolblogger world tells me that. There seem to be plethora of committed parents in the homeschooling world.
I raised my oldest daughter in the courting issue/mindset also. She is married to a man that is equal to her in godly standards, and he wasn't homeschooled!
Remember, as much as we put hedges around our children, and incorporate courtship as one of these hedges, it is God that is going to keep them in purity, and bring them a godly man for marriage. I know that we all "know" this, but it just helps to remind each other I think. It is prayer in faith that will bring your daughter to the man that God will have for her.
Antoinette
Kim, we have 7 children still at home, and all of them are "courtship-minded". My daughter, 20, was actually approached (through her dad) to begin a courtship, but she turned the young man down. She has high standards (but she is not putting herself on a pillar!) and is waiting on the Lord to provide her with a godly husband, if He so desires. We live in a farming community and know NO ONE with sons of marriageable age and godly character. We attend church over an hour from home, and the church is small. We have come to the conclusion that we must wait on the Lord for this, as it is vitally important. We also have a son, 26, still at home. The other ones are younger and haven't yet begun to look, although I am sure the 19 year old and the 17 year old have prayed about it.
Yuck. Courtship model or no, I'm seeing over a dozen lovely (nice looking to drop-dead gorgeous), godly, sensible women just waiting, waiting, waiting. The godly, worthy men aren't asking them (or anyone I know of) out or expressing interest. And I live in the "Bible belt." It's just dumbfounding.
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