Thursday, August 6, 2009

Choosing the Best, part 2

The first part of this discussion can be read here.

We're continuing to look at the 'what if' questions that always seem to come up when the topic turns to women staying at home to be full time wives and mothers. First we are covering the idea of daughters being raised to see this choice as God's BEST:

Second question...what if the girl never finds a spouse that meets her standards for marriage and stays single? Oh, boy...has this been on my mind! There are very few choices available at this point in time for the young, single women that I know. However, dropping scriptural standards just for the sake of being married is not God's BEST. A woman who remains single should still be prepared for marriage and children - we can never know when God will send the husband He has prepared for her. If a husband is never found, a woman's life can still be full by working with other woman and helping in their families; by serving in great ways within a church structure; by standing firmly on her conviction of purity as a testimony to her trust in God. Yes, it would be hard. Yes, it would be worth it! James knew it:

My brethren, count it all joy when ye fall into divers temptations; Knowing this, that the trying of your faith worketh patience. But let patience have her perfect work, that ye may be perfect and entire, wanting nothing.
James 1:2-4 (emphasis mine)
And when it gets really hard to keep focused on serving others (your own family, church families or God, himself) meditate on Psalm 37:
Trust in the Lord, and do good; so shalt thou dwell in the land, and verily thou shalt be fed.
Delight thyself also in the Lord; and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart.
Commit thy way unto the Lord; trust also in him; and he shall bring it to pass.
And he shall bring forth thy righteousness as the light, and thy judgment as the noonday.
Rest in the Lord, and wait patiently for him:
Psalm 37:3-7a (emphasis mine)
Lets move into the questions about those of us who are already wives and SAHMs. This next one seems to me to be a short answer:
Third question...what if a SAHM and wife were to become a widow at a young age? So be it. Nothing (NOTHING) happens in this life that is not allowed to happen by the Lord. The possibility that a husband dies early is not something on which to base decisions. Trust God, for He wants what is BEST for you! Churches, as a whole, are commanded to take care of the widows and orphans within their congregations. All the more reason to seek out a local church to build into your family!
For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the Lord.
For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts.
Isaiah 55:8&9
The key to this question is recognizing that God would not have us live with any fear of the future - leave those plans to Him and simply live for His BEST. be continued...


Lori said...

The mention of widowhood, esp young widowhood, comes up fairly regularly. I agree that the church is called to help - if she is a "widow indeed".

I'd like to add that a wife can and should take measures to need as little as possible help from her church: via term life ins. A young, healthy person w/ good med history can get a $500K policy for about $200 per year. The rates do go up every 10 years, but eventually they should ideally have enough assets to protect her by the time it ceased to be cost-effective. She should own the policy on her husband so that it's not subject to inheritance tax if he dies, and if he (God forbid) leaves, she can keep up annual payments at least until the 10 yr mark is expired (and maybe longer for an adjusted rate?). This is a must esp if there are children, so she can continue to support them, pref as an at-home mom. If the spouse leaves then dies, she gets no more child support! So get that life ins! If necessary, as friends/family/church to help pay the premium as b-day/x-mas presents.

Mrs. Parunak said...

Another great installment. I really like your focus on choosing God's BEST. So often we sacrifice the best because we're afraid of the "what if's." We think we've covered our bases and protected ourselves, but we don't notice that we've lost the BEST. It wasn't a good trade.

Kim from Canada said...

I agree that certain saving measures make for good financial planning - that is how we set it up in our family, too. However, it isn't done as a matter of 'fearing the future' as so many women I have met in the 'what if' conversations seem to approach it.

It should be simply as being part of the wisdom God provides us for our finances. But good advice, none the less!

Lori said...

"It should be simply as being part of the wisdom God provides us for our finances."

I could NOT agree more!