After allowing myself to mull over my misery for some time, I got around to listening to what God was telling me. What I had wasn't the 'success' that He wanted for me. Just because I was capable of being an Executive Director; just because I had made proper arrangements for someone to care for my child while I worked; just because everyone around me believed I was accomplishing the right things didn't mean that it was expedient for me.
All things are lawful unto me, but all things are not expedient: all things are lawful for me, but I will not be under the power of any.
1 Corinthians 6:12
As one of God's chosen, I had the choice between obeying His plan for my life or keeping one foot in the world while crying "Christian" - that's what Paul is pointing out in this passage. Maybe I wasn't breaking any commandments by being a working wife and mother, but I was certainly losing out on the blessings that are available for following the path of righteousness. And after too much time was lost in my ignorance and selfishness, I finally got it! God had always been showing this truth to me, but I was taking the "lawful" route and following the worldly path. Armed with this new scriptural understanding, and with the support of my husband, I resigned from my position. And as soon as I did, even before the arrival of my last working day, I felt tremendous relief and great anticipation for what the Lord would be doing for our family - now that we were listening.
Now, before anyone gets their nose out of joint...let me assure you I understand the need for having a certain amount of income for running a household. Maybe now more than when I was working full time. Our family went from a yearly income of 65K to less than 20K - I was the 'bread-winner' of the family. My husband had been the full-time parent at home. So when we decided to jump out in faith - we really jumped! Not just financially speaking either - I had no idea how to run a household and I had no idea if my husband knew how to find and keep a full time job. Yes, I was scared and frustrated alot. Yes, I felt like I was learning to be a woman for the first time. Yes, I had to learn how to give the leadership to my husband rather than 'direct' him everytime he turned around.
But now, after 4 years, it was soooooo worth it! My whole family is happier - in ways we could never have imagined.
The thief cometh not, but for to steal, and to kill, and to destroy: I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly. John 10:10
Satan would have us believe it is too hard to follow the path of righteousness, that there are too many obstacles to do things God's way. The strength and resolve of our faith makes the difference. God wouldn't lay the plan out for us to follow if it couldn't be done.
I encourage other women to learn how to be a helpmeet to their husbands, to learn to raise their own children and to accept the abundant life that the Lord has waiting for you!