Stay Tuned

Just like everyone else, I am wrapped up in summer activities right now. Actually, our summer events go right into September for camping trips. BUT...hang in there with me! I have alot of good posts bouncing around in my head - at least they sound good to me ;o)

Choosing the Best, part 3

Picking back up on the series of 'what if' questions that always seem to come up when the topic turns to women staying at home to be full time wives and mothers. We started here by looking at the idea of daughters being raised to see this choice as God's BEST. Now, we have moved into to talking about women who are already married and making decisions about staying at home:


Fourth question...what if the debt load is too high for one income? Well, that didn't happen by accident, did it? Absolutely take responsibility for debt that has been incurred in past times - but changing to a frugal lifestyle will show a walk toward God's BEST for the family. Our family is in this situation right now. I work part time as a nurse to pay off the debt that my husband and I incurred in the first part of our marriage. Keep in mind that my previous full time income was almost twice what my husband makes working full time now. But, since making the decision to seek God's BEST for our family, we have paid more than $28,000 off (some of it was simply removed by the grace of God!) in only 5 years! With just $14,000 left to go, my work time outside of the home is lessening every year. God has been gracious in this area by giving my husband a job that is flexible for scheduling and giving me a job that I can pick and choose my shifts. These two things make sure that homeschool is not affected and that one of us is home with Duck at all times - no need for babysitters. Blessings always follow when we seek out God's BEST for our lives. Why should we believe the blessings will come?

If any man thirst, let him come unto me, and drink. He that believeth on me, as the scripture hath said, out of his belly shall flow rivers of living water.

John 7:37b & 38 (emphasis mine)

Last question...what if a woman is in an abusive situation? Get out. Take the kids and get out. God's authority structure does not include abuse of any kind. However, seek your heart for the truth first. Physical abuse is an obvious reason to leave, but emotional and verbal abuse are slippery ones. There are times that I have been guilty of emotionally and verbally abusing my husband! Sometimes, as wives, we must suffer under the persecution of our husbands who have yet to follow God's BEST for their role in the marriage. By challenging ourselves as wives to be a biblical woman, God can change your husband.

Wherefore take unto you the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all to stand. Ephesians 6:13 (emphasis mine)

There are probably several more 'what if' questions that come up when discussing a woman's decision to stay at home, whether married or single. The ones that I did bring up in this series are the ones that come up most frequently among my community of friends and acquaintances and strangers. I do know that the decision to be wives and mothers at home, to make that a plan for the future when still single, has to be a conviction with solid biblical grounding. A woman without the conviction will find it is only a matter of time before the 'what if' arguments break down any shallow decisions and home life will never be good enough for her.


Just today as I was looking for a way to wrap up this series, Duck and I were picking wild raspberries. We were hindered by bees, thorns, heat and thick brush. All these hindrances were a perfect example of what living lives as women of conviction is like - there will always be something or someone that is intent on pushing us away from following the BEST path that God has for us. However, perseverance, patience and trust in God will always end in blessing - in this case by working past the bees, thorns, heat and thick brush we filled a basket full of raspberries!

So let me repeat my conviction from the first installment on this series - God's BEST path for every woman is to be a wife and mother. Period. Spare me the 'what if' arguments and show me the scripture!

Adding to Family Adventure

This post will give a brief break in the "what if" series, but the third installment is almost done. I didn't want to miss a Show and Tell!

Well, we have been searching for quite awhile to find the best canoe for our family and just found this beautiful vessel on Monday past. After trying out multiple canoes, we purchased this Clipper Tripper for an excellent price: In our part of the country the Swift Canoe is the most well known and is recommended highly by anyone who has used one. We did try out the Swift brand, and we did like it, but the price of that line of canoes was a little high ($2500+). This brand, Clipper, is mostly associated with Mary's end of the country - British Columbia. We found it at a local canoe store after someone had traded it in for a purchase. It was the perfect size and handles great in the water:

These are all pictures that were taken when we were just doing a test paddle. It is unlikely that we will have another set of pictures with all three of us in the vessel again - one of us is always holding the camera! So far, I can highly recommend the Clipper to anyone who is looking.

Our family adventures for the rest of the summer and into fall will almost always include this new addition! Here are some of the names we have come with for our new vessel:

- wun*hoo*toots (family humour!)

- family ARK (that holds all of our initials)

- the northern rikibee (also a mix of our names, although we figured we would tell people that it was a native word for wun*hoo*toots!)

- a full, rich day

Any other suggestions!
For more Show and Tell, go visit Mary!

Choosing the Best, part 2

The first part of this discussion can be read here.

We're continuing to look at the 'what if' questions that always seem to come up when the topic turns to women staying at home to be full time wives and mothers. First we are covering the idea of daughters being raised to see this choice as God's BEST:

Second question...what if the girl never finds a spouse that meets her standards for marriage and stays single? Oh, boy...has this been on my mind! There are very few choices available at this point in time for the young, single women that I know. However, dropping scriptural standards just for the sake of being married is not God's BEST. A woman who remains single should still be prepared for marriage and children - we can never know when God will send the husband He has prepared for her. If a husband is never found, a woman's life can still be full by working with other woman and helping in their families; by serving in great ways within a church structure; by standing firmly on her conviction of purity as a testimony to her trust in God. Yes, it would be hard. Yes, it would be worth it! James knew it:

My brethren, count it all joy when ye fall into divers temptations; Knowing this, that the trying of your faith worketh patience. But let patience have her perfect work, that ye may be perfect and entire, wanting nothing.

James 1:2-4 (emphasis mine)

And when it gets really hard to keep focused on serving others (your own family, church families or God, himself) meditate on Psalm 37:

Trust in the Lord, and do good; so shalt thou dwell in the land, and verily thou shalt be fed.

Delight thyself also in the Lord; and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart.

Commit thy way unto the Lord; trust also in him; and he shall bring it to pass.

And he shall bring forth thy righteousness as the light, and thy judgment as the noonday.

Rest in the Lord, and wait patiently for him:

Psalm 37:3-7a (emphasis mine)

Lets move into the questions about those of us who are already wives and SAHMs. This next one seems to me to be a short answer:

Third question...what if a SAHM and wife were to become a widow at a young age? So be it. Nothing (NOTHING) happens in this life that is not allowed to happen by the Lord. The possibility that a husband dies early is not something on which to base decisions. Trust God, for He wants what is BEST for you! Churches, as a whole, are commanded to take care of the widows and orphans within their congregations. All the more reason to seek out a local church to build into your family!

For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the Lord.

For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts.

Isaiah 55:8&9

The key to this question is recognizing that God would not have us live with any fear of the future - leave those plans to Him and simply live for His BEST.

...to be continued...

Choosing the Best

I always enjoy reading blog posts and comment threads for the purpose of challenging my own thinking. When I read other people's thoughts (whether they match mine or not) it can give me cause to study scripture to ensure my convictions are on solid ground. Generally, I end up posting on the same topics, but use my blog to give extensive answers to questions or challenges that were posed somewhere else in blogland. This particular post kept growing in size, so I have split it into three parts (so far!). I hope everyone will chime in with their thoughts:

There is no doubt that the secular worldview is that every family should be a two income family. If a woman is not working and building her career there must be something wrong with her - she's lazy - or she's being held back by her husband and children, etc. In the end, the current culture believes a woman who is a housewife and stay-at-home-mom is missing out on her full potential. Sometimes the christian realm isn't much different when weighing in on this topic. The questions about women staying at home, or daughters being raised with this future plan, almost always turns to the 'what if'.

What if...
- your daughter never marries,
- your husband were to pass away,
- that woman really is in an abusive situation,
- that young girl wants to go to college and have a career,
- the family has a debt load greater than the husband's salary?

God's BEST path for every woman is to be a wife and mother. Period.

This isn't something that is repressive or subjugating. It is a freeing and edifying role. Let me tell you why I believe this:

Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: And he is the saviour of the body.
Ephesians 5:22&23 (emphasis mine)

Obeying God is never wrong and never degrading. He built this relationship into marriage as a protection for women. We are first under the protection of our fathers, then that responsibility is passed onto our husbands.

First question...what if the father is not a strong christian(or not a christian at all) who will take the responsibility to heart? This happens - we live in a sinful world and there are no guarantees that those around us will follow God's BEST. The key for young girls in this situation is to honour their earthly father without dishonouring our heavenly Father. If 'dad' says his daughter could or should date (or most often heard, doesn't care!), the daughter needs to purpose in her heart to seek God's BEST for this area of her life. Dating is 'normal' and easy and even fun - but it is not God's BEST for a single girl. If 'dad' does not actively support following a courtship model to marriage, there will likely be a pastor who can counsel the young girl during her single years. Regardless, young women cannot use those around them as an excuse to ignore God's BEST.

But Daniel purposed in his heart that he would not defile himself with the portion of the king's meat, nor with the wine which he drank: Daniel 1:8 (emphasis mine)

Daniel was a young man and alone in a strange land. He could have joined the crowd and defiled himself to please his captor - and used the excuse that he was alone. He had no support for any 'old' beliefs. Instead, he stood firm on convictions for his relationship with God and chose to follow the BEST path that God had for him. Taking the stance that 'it is just too hard' to seek God's BEST in the area of purity during single life is a telling sign about the anyone who speaks these words. The key to this 'what if' questions is this - what has been purposed in the heart? Anything?

...to be continued...