Executive Housewife

Can We Call It an Era?

2011-06-10T22:31:00.003-04:00

Whether it is an era or not, it is coming to an end. Due to circumstances beyond rationality, this blog is over. For the many women who have come here and took the time to email me I have been encouraged to know that the trials in my life are shared in your lives, too. It is encouraging to have heard about your strategies for managing motherhood and marriage, as well as the lessons learned in your walk with Christ.

I will continue to visit the sites where we have met and I will eventually start up another blog, too. Feel free to email at the address listed if you have any questions about my quick exit.

This site will remain open for the archives only.

A Book (CD) Reveiw 5

2011-06-05T14:22:00.001-04:00

I couldn't get a bigger picture, but it is a CD not a book. This is the 2011 Woman of Faith Worship CD entitled Rejoice, is a compilation of 10 worship songs sung by the Women of Faith Worship Team. Most Christians would probably recognize a couple of the songs, however, even the hymns have a real 'concert' sound to them - a little bit rocky. They put their own twist on them which I wasn't crazy about, but it was okay.

These women have beautiful voices, without question. The singing team are listed as Kara Tualatai, Michelle Swift, Laura Cooksey, Janice Gaines, Allison Abbott, Jenifer Thigpen, and Jovaun Woods.

Per the product description, "REJOICE captures the unbridled joy, awestruck adoration, and reverent worship audiences experience over the course of a two-day Women of Faith event."

I can recommend for those who enjoy the comtemporary style of worship. However, I prefer a more traditional approach to hymns and christian music - the 'reverent' description on the CD does not match my idea of the word.

Love/Hate Relationship

2011-05-26T23:12:00.009-04:00

I love my computer. I hate my computer. Can I get an 'amen?!'

We use our computer frequently throughout the day. Both my husband and I read the newspaper online. We all, including Duck, do research online. Duck and I both use Word documents for organizing our daily tasks and, of course, we use it for school. Even bible studies can be done more effectively with the computer when we can't find a particular passage...the computer finds it way faster than any concordance.

Yes, this piece of technology is woven into my life for efficiency and organization. That's why I love it.

Then there are the troubles it brings. Websites that are slow or freezing when I only have a moment before needing to move on with my day. Also the times when our server is down and feels like FOREVER before I can get into my email. The worst, however, is the security lapses that allow viruses to enter. That happened just this past few weeks.

A virus calling itself 'XP security 2011' popped up and would not go away. It looked exactly like a Microsoft program and wanted me to purchase a new security system (FYI, it is not from Microsoft and should you encounter it - do not purchase it!). It took my computer hostage, refusing any access to the internet. My computer guy informed that we would have to remove the operating system and reload it. Thereby losing any data, pictures and videos that were on hard drive if I could not get them backed up on disc.

Fortunately, I was able to remove all important and personal items onto disc - so we did not lose anything that way. What we did lose was days with our technological friend. I so, so, so missed the computer when it was unavailable. My husband and daughter felt the same way - Hoss didn't care, he just likes to chew on the cords right now.

So, as you can see, the computer has returned to us. I have spent hours reloading software and drivers. Why is it worth it? Because I got to see Mrs. Parunak's new baby who arrived while my computer was in limbo. Because my lists and charts for school are back at my fingertips. Because Duck can listen to Odyssey on the Radio again. Because I couldn't remember the reference for a particular bible passage that I needed.

Yes, a true love\hate relationship. I know it is only a machine. I know that if I had to, I could live without it. I know it is only a matter of time before it disappoints me - again. I know I will do everything necessary to fix it - again.

A Book Review 4

2011-05-04T13:03:00.005-04:00

'Daddy Dates' is a book written by Greg Wright where he is talking about the revelation he had regarding his responsibilities in raising his four daughters. The idea of a father being involved in the lives of his children, girls or boys, isn't really a new idea - God planned it long, long ago. However, with so many men ignoring this responsibility, it was a pleasure to see that this book existed!

Mr. Wright's easy reading and humourous approach to describe his journey has little to do with scripture. His heart is obviously in the right place and he takes his responsibility of loving his daughters very seriously. His tag line for the whole issue is 'Don't screw up!'.

I can appreciate the work that he put into the relationship that he is building with each of his children. He is honest and he shows how the work has paid off for him with each of his girls. Mr. Wright does not talk over anyone's head and is open to admitting where he made mistakes, as well - which is something that always helps others trying the same thing.

I can recommend the book, but my enthusiasm is limited. Christian men who are sitting on the fence about being godly fathers may have seen a stronger case for 'daddy dates' with the appropriate scripture attached. My husband perused the book and found it was a little too light on a topic that needs to be taking seriously.

However, it is positive to have the topic out there and available in a format to introduce to men who are just stepping into the realm of fatherhood.

Disclaimer: I receive books from Thomas Nelson Publishers (Booksneeze) free of charge in exchange for my unbiased opinion of them. I am not threatened or rewarded in any way in efforts to encourage me to provide a positive review. All opinions are mine.

Revisiting Easter Thoughts

2011-04-21T23:24:00.008-04:00

An old post that I still study from at this time of year:

Do You Love Me? John 21:1-18

Simon Peter was a fisherman. It had been his life's work before Jesus called him. This chapter (John 21:1-18) shows us that he and other disciples returned to that familiar lifestyle when things did not turn out as they had hoped and imagined. Jesus was their leader, their Saviour, their Christ; but, to their limited sight at that time, Jesus was dead.

Simon Peter had been so very close with Jesus. He believed he would follow Jesus to the death, if necessary (John 13:37). Instead, he had run away; he had denied Christ; he had failed.

So there they are - fishing. They had been out all night and caught nothing. Does anyone doubt they had spent those hours in misery, focusing on their failure? They couldn't even catch a fish!

And then they see Him on the beach...calling them back, giving them instructions for success. "Put the net on the other side of the boat." Imagine the grumbling! "We are professional fisherman...we have been out here all night and caught nothing...how is that going to change by moving the net?" It made no sense, but it worked. Success from simple obedience to Jesus.

How many times do we, as His children, run from Him. We return to our old lifestyles; we go back to doing things our way; we fail to follow Him and lay those old sins at the foot of the cross. OR, we lay down one sin, just to pick it back up again! I know I am guilty of this lack of faith, this lack of trust (Isaiah 53:6).

The road to spiritual success is written out clearly for us. We simply need to apply scripture to each and every part of our lives (Colossians 3:17).

1. study

2. examine ourselves

3. obey & change

4. success

Now picture yourself as Peter on the beach (vs. 15-17). "Simon, son of Jonas, lovest thou me?"

My heart breaks for Peter, who had agonized over his failures. Who had given up all his stated convictions of following Jesus only to return to his old lifestyle. "Yea, Lord, thou knowest that I love thee." Jesus repeats his question to Peter (or imagine it is you) three times - "(Kim), lovest thou me?" And each time He asks, we remember the sins we continue to hold onto. We peek into that closet in our hearts where we think we are hiding those areas of our life that we don't want to analyze through God's eyes. We are grieved because we have returned to our old lifestyle, yet again, instead of following Christ.

He gives us simple instruction, "Feed my sheep."

We can't do Christ's work if we constantly run away from Him. We can't "catch fish" from the side of the boat we have chosen. We can't feed His sheep without a solid, constantly growing relationship with Him. We can find success ONLY in obedience to Him.

Verse 18 shows us the difference. When we were young (unsaved) we did as we wanted. Now we are old (saved, growing) and we must follow where He carries us -- where we would not go on our own.Look at each area of your life and examine it under scriptural lenses - i.e. finances, relationships, employment, health, etc.

Is your 'net' on your side of the boat(worldly)? Are you following Christ all the way to the cross? Are your repeatedly returning to your old lifestyle?

Success will come from simple obedience. Cast your net on the other side.

A Book Review 3

2011-04-10T18:29:00.009-04:00

I just finished this tale of adventure, excitement and perseverance. I loved it!

Unsinkable, written by Abby Sunderland (with Lynn Vincent) is the story of how this remarkable young woman made an attempt to be the youngest person to ever solo circumnavigate the globe, non-stop and unassisted. She was in the news for several months during the early part of 2010 for her travels...so the ending should have been rather anti-climatic when it is a real life story - she didn't make it. However, the entire story had me reading each page with delight and feeling some of the excitement, frustration and fear that Abby describes from her travels. Cheering her on a year after her adventure was done.

As a sixteen year old, homeschooled girl there were plenty of trials with which she had to deal from the very moment she sought sponsors for her dream trip. Complete strangers who were critical of her age, her abilities, her intelligence and even her independence - accusing her parents of pushing her into a publicity stunt for money. People from all over chimed in with their expertise on sailing without acknowledging that this young woman was far from being a novice. However, Abby's expertise as sailor is evident in how much she did achieve. Her accomplishment should have silenced the naysayers, but socialists** never admit when their wrong!

Not only did I enjoy this book, I had to compete with my husband to have time to read it. He loved it, too! Next, my 11 yo daughter is looking forward to it. Admittedly, the technical terms tend to drag some of the material down, but I can highly recommend the book.

As a side note, this disclaimer was attached to the book by Booksneeze:

**This title does not contain the amount of faith-focused content as many other books offered on BookSneeze.com. If you prefer Christian Living titles featuring a large amount of faith-centered content, Unsinkable is probably not the best selection for you.

This is something that I found inaccurate. Abby and her family are professing Christians and talk about their faith openly throughout the book. It was faith for real life. Fantastic.

**socialist: someone who thinks they know what is best for everyone else, whether they know them or not; also like to call themselves experts

Norwalking on the Wild Side

2011-04-07T11:30:00.014-04:00

Gingerale - check

Good supply of TP - check

Jello - check

Individual buckets to carry around - check

Can you guess what we have been doing in our house for the last week and a half? That's right...the norwalk virus hit like a tornado two Saturday's ago. I remember the moment clearly. Duck looked up at me, with a slight green tinge to her face, and said, "I don't feel very well". Within three minutes the first bucket had been used.

Now Duck had the worst of it. Her vomiting was out of control and we had to take a trip to the hospital for some help to stop it - at least for awhile. They gave her a magic pill that cleared up the nausea for over 4 hours! The next day she was still quite sick and living on the gingerale and jello diet. You see, norwalk may start off with coming 'up', then it moves 'down'. By Monday she was back to a normal colour. Then her little brother followed in her footsteps.

Ever try to explain to a nine month old that throwing up is okay? Hoss was a real trooper, though. His up-chucking stage only lasted part of one day and then we went through a tonne of diapers! The worst part with a little one is how much weight is lost in such a short time. Although the virus passes through quickly, it takes several days to re-train the tummy to eat normally. Almost one full week to get the little guy back to normal portions of formula and food. Plus the long lasting effect would be his new addiction to jello.

Now,infection control is still possible with an 11yo who can use a bucket and wash her hands - it is a different story when a baby is just using me to catch his emesis. So, then it was my turn. There is a question if it was just a coincidence that I spent a day with the bucket as my best friend, though. The night prior, my husband took me out for a nice dinner at a restaurant and I devoured a rack of honey garlic ribs. The garlic was excessive! So there is a question if that was what had me heaving - because that was the only symptom that I suffered. Not that made any difference during the time.

So...the question rises. How do we find something to be thankful about in all of this?

Actually, it wasn't too difficult to answer. You see, the three days prior to Duck becoming ill she spent on vacation with our friends at Niagara Falls Great Wolf Lodge Resort. It is a huge water park resort where they had an incredibly good time. Saturday morning, again before any ugly symptoms arose, she spent the time with her dad at the shooting range. So, we look at the fact that her vacation and daddy date were not hindered by the virus - a blessing to be thankful for indeed.

As for me, this past Saturday was a homeschool conference that I always enjoy attending each spring. Both kids were well enough to spend the day with Auntie L, which gave my husband and I the full day to ourselves. I became ill the day after. Again, a blessing that 'ralph and chuck' didn't ruin my day, either.

When God says 'in eveything give thanks', there really is always something for which to be thankful!

Now was there any other way to describe vomiting that I didn't use?

A Book Review 2

2011-03-24T23:53:00.008-04:00

Here's a little book I have been enjoying. God's Wisdom for Mothers is a cute little pocket sized book filled with scripture that has been organized under convenient headings. As compiled by Jack Countryman, the headings include: God's Wisdom is Needed in Every Mother's Life; The Crown of an Excellent Mother is from God; God's Wisdom with Children Requires Daily Training There are many more that are set out in easy to read format (from the NKJV) and convenient for short times for meditating on scripture. The size of the book is a perfect fit with my bible case and makes a great little gift for friends. Obviously, these books are not a substitution for studying from my bible, however, when I am swamped with homeschooling, or house management or any other number of events that put my daily schedule into a tailspin, a quick little book such as this gives me the opportunity to take little bites of scripture to feed me. This is a book that will stay right beside my Bible for a long time. Really, is there ever a time when God's wisdom isn't needed? Not in my life, anyway! Disclaimer: I receive books from Thomas Nelson Publishers (Booksneeze) free of charge in exchange for my unbiased opinion of them. I am not threatened or rewarded in any way in efforts to encourage me to provide a positive review. All opinions are mine.

Dog's Best Friend

2011-03-24T22:49:00.008-04:00

Warning: this is a post for animal lovers only! The rest of you won't get it...

My dog, Pokey, is known to us a sweet albeit mischievious jack russell terrier. He is not hyper, as his breed can be at times. In fact, he is on the lazy side when in the house. However, take him for a walk and he becomes a new dog. When Pokey walks through the neighbourhood he appears to present himself as a much larger dog - head held high and chest stuck out. A leash is a necessity as he is unpredictable around other dogs. There are times we pass another dog and Pokey doesn't even look at it; then there are times when he is bearing his teeth and snarling like he's a lion!

For the longest time we could not figure out what the difference in dogs was that could bring about such polarized reactions. Eventually, we realized. Pokey is a nazi - small 'n'. He hates all dogs who he deems to be ugly or stupid or just simply below his standards for dogs. It's true...we have tested the theory. Should an approaching dog be lunging on it's leash, tongue lolling, and generally acting like a fool...Poke hates it instantly. When a dog with a ridiculous haircut (think giant poodle) is approaching...Poke will start snarling as though to tell it how stupid it looks. On the opposite end, a dog who is generally composed while walking, with no unusual appearance or accessories...Poke will ignore it or give a courtesy sniff without incident.

There is one exception to this rule and he is our houseguest for the next few days.

Meet George. He is a half breed poodle/jack mix - and, although he's as sweet as sugar, he has the intelligence of a potatoe. He is half Pokey's physical and intellectual size. And they love each other. When given the opportunity to visit together, they wrestle non-stop for 30 minutes or more and take a short break before starting up again. They will share food and water bowls and George is allowed to sleep in bed with us.

Now this isn't purely coincidental. George belongs to our good friends and he and Poke have known each other since they were pups. George is a year older than Poke which gave him some seniority when they first met and that may have channeled into a certain type of mutual adoration for their entire relationship. It works well because we dog-sit George while his family takes vacation and they will dog-sit Poke while we take some time away.

So for those who ever questioned if dogs really do have individual personality; for those who give strange looks to pet owners talking to their dogs as if they were people; for those who question if pets can love...these two really are BFFs.

Awesome New Site

2011-03-15T20:50:00.004-04:00

I have always adored the resources put out by Doorposts, and guess what? Now they have a wonderful new blog – you will love it! They are having 10 days of giveaways (with the grand prize being a complete set of ALL their products!), so head on over and check it out!

A Book Review

2011-03-10T22:20:00.005-05:00

Thanks to Janet, I found out about Booksneeze and signed up to read some good books. My first book from the selection list was Tithing, by Douglas Leblanc. I have to admit that there was an initial disappointment when I started the book as I expected it would be a biblical study on tithing. Turns out that Mr. Leblanc put together several testimonies from people who have been blessed by practising this ancient practice (this is an installment of a multiple book series on the ancient practices).

Tithing is the fifth book in the "Ancient Practices Series" by Phyllis Tickle. It is a short book at 152 pages and a short study guide at the end. Mr. Leblanc travelled the to different states interviewing people for their testimonies on how tithing has affected their lives. These testimonies are written completely seperate from each other - each chapter is a story on its own. Mr. Leblanc's writing style is easy to follow, but tends to make a long story out of a short one. Therefore leaving the reader (me) bored before the end of the testimony.

The testimonies are encouraging and a quick read, however, I was left with an unsatisfied feeling when the book was completed. It seemed as though a final chapter was needed to tie everything altogether. Although I did enjoy the study that has been added to the back of the book - it, too, could have been more in depth for the reader.

My final opinion is simple. I'm glad I didn't pay for the book.

Regrets, I've Had a Few

2011-03-01T16:39:00.007-05:00

Generally speaking, I don't spend alot of time fretting over mistakes. Hopefully, each time I make one (and I do make them!), I learn from them and move on. Regrets are little different.

A regret is when my mistake involves other people. That time when I should have shared more of my faith with someone, or that time when my words came out too harshly, or that time I made an excuse to avoid a time of fellowship. These are the things I regret.

Several years ago, a woman I know became stricken with cancer. It was a real nasty type, but I won't go into details here. She was someone I consider a friend although we never saw each other frequently due to the distance that seperates her home from mine. No, it isn't hundreds of miles - it was just over an hour to drive. When I heard she had become ill, I sent an email offering my help. She replied that everything was going well.

Months passed and she attended a bible study that I was also attending. We talked about her illness and treatment. Things were going well - the word remission was used. Conversation turned to husbands and kids and homeschooling, etc. It was like she had never been sick! We said goodbye that day and it turned out to be goodbye forever. That was two years ago. She died at the end of January.

Two years! Two years gone and I had never checked in with her. Two years and she went through a relapse with her cancer and fought a losing battle without my ever contacting her. I had known that relapse occurred and I had always said, "I must get hold of Miriam!" It never happened. I talked with mutual friends about taking a trip up to see her - I talked too long. Get this...she was even writing a blog about her experience and I (a blogger!) knew nothing about it until after she died.

There is no doubt in my mind that she has met her Saviour; that she certainly isn't wondering about me. This world is a distant memory for her in glory. She has no more pain, no more regrets. Yet, I had one more lesson to learn from her - don't procrastinate with the people in my life.

If your interested in reading her story (here), it is an amazing testimony for the Lord. Both in life and in death she glorifies Him. If nothing else, read the last post done by her oldest daughter. May God give my daughter the strength in faith that this young woman expresses.

Imagine That!

2011-02-11T13:33:00.003-05:00

Okay, so I'm spending a little time reading online newpapers during my day. Every now and then a gem of a story pokes up. Read this, although the headline says it all.

Canadians are still following the socialist path, though. Just this year in Ontario we can now access early kindergarten - that's where you send your children to school all day at the age of 3. Sad.

Canada 101

2011-01-27T14:07:00.004-05:00

Want to know what a socialist political state leads to after several decades? Check out life in 'free' Canada today at this link here. All the Americans who read here may want to sit down for this...after all, from what I've been reading your country is well on it's way to the same situation.

Thankfully, I do believe that God is still on His throne.

Off the Grid

2010-12-05T17:07:00.004-05:00

Okay, I'm probably not going to say anything here that those who read here haven't already figured out. Off the grid; off line; taking a sabbatical...I'm just not hanging out in cyberspace lately. Having a 6mos old baby and a grade six student in one house pretty well keeps me busy. I haven't been able to shake the 'baby brain' just yet when it comes to keeping my days organized - some days are better than others.

However, there is more to it. In times past when my days were too busy for writing my thoughts down I still found time to sit and read other blogs for fun and for encouragement as a christian, homeschooling mom. That isn't happening much these days. The interest for the 'computer zone' just isn't there.

I'm sure it will return. Even as I write this, I'm thinking about all the things in my life right now that I should be writing down. This blog was started so that I could think through my issues in life in order to help me become the woman God would want me to be in this life. I have always found writing out my personal studies, personal problems and even personal successes to be helpful in my learning process - I can be quite slow in that. Not to mention all the pictures we have to share!

Life will go on without my blog updates, I know. One day soon the need to express myself here will return! Hopefully the time to do it will come as well. Stay tuned!

Working with Discretion

2010-10-18T07:32:00.000-04:00

Since Hoss is a breast feeder it makes things alot easier for travel. As long as he and I are together and we can find a place to sit, we're all set. This has been great for our camping trips, shopping trips and, of course, our trip to Niagara Falls. Even for everyday activities it has proven to be convenient for any schedule we may be trying to keep - including Sundays for church.

Hoss is still wanting to eat every 2-3 hours during the day, and I had started out trying to adjust the schedule if we had plans to leave the house. Just a little 'tweaking' of the timeline to be able to go out of the house and not need to feed him while we were out. This could cause quite a bit of frustration for him and myself - not to mention my husband who would be sitting outside waiting for us to finish nursing and come dashing to the car. I could not remember ever doing this with Duck, who was also breastfed. Finally I came to the conclusion that I had not done this with Duck because it was better to let her eat when she wanted and not interfere with that natural scheduling. So now, that is what Hoss and I do. We nurse everywhere.

Let's see...McDonald's, parking lots, beaches, campgrounds and church. The only place that has given me pause to reconsider this practice is church.

Now, I am very discreet. In the sanctuary of our church, there is a back corner fireplace with a love seat beside it. If Hoss needs to eat, we sit back there and no one needs to know it. It helps that our pastor preaches without his glasses and therefore can't see the front row of the congregation, never Hoss and I at the back! (There was that church we visited while camping where the pastor was caught a little off guard when looking at the back row and seeing me sitting alone with a poncho draped over myself and two little feet kicking out - quite the look crossed his face)

So what has given me reason to reconsider this whole set up? Hoss has yet to learn discretion in the process.

Hoss loves to nurse. Hoss loves to eat, period. His love of eating is easily understood by the yummy noises he makes (breathe, mmmmm, breathe, mmmmm, breathe, mmmmm, etc.) Several people in the back row of the congregation can be seen with their shoulders shaking as they laugh silently about the sounds emanating from the back corner.

All in all, everyone has been generous in seeing Hoss' habit as cute rather than annoying. A little blessing in belonging to a small church where everyone knows each other well enough to be open about such things.

Of course, how could anyone be annoyed at this:

Autumn Vacation

2010-10-15T06:55:00.004-04:00

Our recent, generally annual trip to Niagara Falls was wonderful. Just like camping, we went on the trip with the understanding that if Hoss didn't manage well, we would head for home. Just like camping, Hoss enjoyed the trip as well as the rest of us. Travelling this far south in the fall means the flowers in Niagara are still blooming beautifully. This the town clock in Niagara on the Lake:Part of our tradition is to stop by a particular market that has jams, jellies, salsas, etc. made from their home grown produce. It is ridiculously exspensive, but they have free samples. We make our way around the store and try everything. Generally I buy some salt water taffy from them, but this year they decided not to make it! Very disappointing, but the samples were still good:For the first time, we visited Fort George on the Niagara River. The replication of the fort is pretty cool. The history behind the war of 1812 is all over Niagara, of course, but the fort (and the tour inside) makes it come alive to see how soldiers and their families lived during that time. The old guns and armoury is neat to see, too: You've heard the phrase, 'go soak your head' - seriously, at this point Duck and her dad were alone with the camera. I have no idea what they are doing:

For country bumpkins like us the hotel is just as much part of the vacation as visiting outside the city. Duck was quite the pool shark after a few games. We always pick a hotel with a good pool area and free breakfast - those are essentials:

Even though we have a video of Hoss in the pool for his first time, we don't have a picture. This however, is what he looks like after a day of heavy 'partying' with his big sister:

We are very thankful that God gave a baby that will travel with us to our usual haunts. How relaxed is that?

Summary of Summer

2010-10-02T13:19:00.018-04:00

It has truly passed by in a flash! Here we are enjoying our usual vacation time in September/October and I don't remember much of summer - I guess that can be expected when it was spent in so many hospitals. So here is a quick picture summary of our activities of late:

First day of rice cerealA birthday party IN Algonquin Park. The family throwing the party works in the provincial park for the summer (dad is a bush pilot) and most of the festivities were held in the plane hanger - cool! The kids had face painting done.Hoss is known as of late as 'the pickle', so that strange thing on his forhead is...a pickle!Even after the party was over, we camped at the homestead of the host family for a couple of nights. Well...OK, we stayed in a trailer with full kitchen and indoor plumbing. Not really ruffin' it for first time camper Hoss.We took a semi-school trip to Sainte-Marie Among the Hurons, in Midland, Ontario. Long drive, but neat day. Here is my husband with a fox hat.Taking Hoss means having to find places to breastfeed. We're hiding in one of the display houses here - and take a few people by surprise when they realize what I'm doing!Here's the real camping trip. We spent three nights in a tent, but had good weather and a good portable heater!Don't let the smiles fool you...these two puberty queens can be really scary!

An autumn wedding. Two young people from our church who actually did it God's way! They met in the fall of 2009 and followed through on their convictions in courtship/purity. A real blessing to finally see it done right!Two beautiful children standing in the receiving line. OK, I'm biased.

And there you have it. Our summer in a nutshell. I have several other posts that are half written - sooner or later I'll finish them and get them out. Hope your summer and autumn has been a good to you, too!

The 'P' Word

2010-09-18T22:40:00.000-04:00

Many years ago, when my husband and I were DINKS (double income, no kids) we did some unusual things. One particular event involved housing a raccoon in our home. My husband worked for a wildlife rehab and sanctuary at the time, and when they were overrun with raccoons at one point we decided to take one home and care for it. It was a baby raccoon, but she was very...um...rotund. She was given the name of Beatrice, because we thought she needed a moniker that provided some lady-like character to her. It would prove to be the only thing about her that was lady-like.

She was greedy, selfish, gluttonous and could be very nasty during her play. Oh, but she was adorable! The two dogs we had at the time did not agree with this assessment. My doberman/shepherd was a senior in age and did her best to simply ignore the intruder. This proved difficult when Beatrice would 'hunt' her in the living room. The raccoon would sneak up behind the dog, grab her backside and run away. The old dog would move to a new spot and sigh as she laid down again. This was before we owned a video camera otherwise we could have easily won the America's funniest video with this daily occurrence.

The other dog was only about 5 years old and did not have any patience for the wild rodent that had invaded her home. She was a black lab cross so these creatures were for hunting and killing as far as she was concerned. After some training, she came to realize that she was not allowed to harm this raccoon and it was a very confusing set up for her. So she came up with a solution. She moved into the closet. As soon as the racoon's cage door was opened, the Lab went to the bedroom and settled into the closet. A place of refuge and safety from the creature that she wanted to kill.

We often remember this situation when we talk about trying to avoid unpleasant things now. Laughing about how much better it would be if we could just move into the closet and ignore the unpleasantness, whatever it may be.

Well, the unpleasantness at the moment is the 'P' word. Our beautiful, almost 11 year old girl has been transformed by the 'P' word. Puberty. Lord help us!

All of a sudden there is drama everywhere. Anxiety is oozing out of her daily routine.

"What if I'm not really sorry for my sins?"; "How do I really know that God loves me?"; "How do I really know that I love Him or you?"; "Do you think boys notice me?"; "If I don't clean my room perfectly every time, is that disobedience?"

Every topic from God to boys to personal hygiene to daily chores is being questioned to death. If her father and I try to talk about anything in depth the tears start to fall. At one point, I sent her to her room for a full afternoon because I needed to breath for awhile.

I know, I know, this too shall pass. In the mean time pray for me! My patience is hanging on by a thread. My husband has moved into the closet.

A Decisive Man

2010-09-01T15:50:00.011-04:00

As I mentioned in the previous posts about Hoss, he came home from hospital with a feeding tube in his nose(NG tube). I have hated that tube from the first week it was inserted. It was necessary in the beginning simply because Hoss did not have the 'natural' skill to suck, swallow, breath - in that order. For the first 2 1/2 weeks since he was born, Hoss received all his nutrition from an IV line. Once he started to wake up more, we needed to get his gastric system moving - so, tube in and he started taking 2ml of breast milk. Seriously, just 2ml (30ml = 1 ounce) to test out his digestion and elimination. It did increase quickly, and before too long he was receiving 80ml of breast milk through the tube every three hours.

Here is where the problem arose. The tube enters through Hoss' nose and goes down his esophagus and into his stomach. The tube is there constantly, so his stomach entry cannot close completely. This causes regurgitation and acid reflux. The tube can irritate the esophagus and cause increased mucous build up - this happens in the nose, too. Therefore, whether he took 2ml or 80ml of milk something always came back up. The smell of acid was prevalent in his burps and the coughing and sneezing could make him mad.

How is this tube a good thing?

Adding to the trouble with the presence of the tube, the hospital staff insisted on following a chart about the amount of intake rather than looking at Hoss as an individual. Remember, policy and procedure comes before common sense. Eventually, the hospital was increasing his intake to 115ml every four hours (I had to request that it be 4 hours apart vs. 3h) and immediately after the machine stopped pumping the milk into him, he would throw up at least 1/3 of it. The gurgle from his stomach was audible from a good distance and was quickly followed by a huge amount of spit up (change that, it wasn't a 'spit up' it was a throw up!)

All this I put up with in order to just get him home! I knew once I had him in my own house I could start adjusting his care to suit his needs. And that is exactly what I did. From the moment we walked in the door, Hoss' eating schedule was changed to every two hours at a total of 2 oz - I would work with him to take a whole ounce from a bottle and the remainder came through the tube. It was hard work and could be very frustrating. Really, a baby is supposed to know how to eat, right!?

The spit up still happened, but it was only small amounts - like any baby can have. However, Hoss was not progressing on the bottle very quickly. Part of his therapy was to encourage him to take a pacifier (to improve his suck), he did not like the 'doe-doe' as we call it. So the question remained, 'how are we ever going to get rid of the tube if Hoss won't take a bottle?'

I have found a few ladies on-line who had been through the experience. This brought mixed encouragement as some of their children have taken to the bottle after a few weeks of working on it, but some children are still on the tube after their 1st birthday! "Please God I don't want this tube here that long!"

One week to the day that we arrived home from hospital, Hoss was literally spitting out the nipple from his bottle each time it was offered to him. He was getting mad at me for sticking back in his mouth and I was getting frustrated with him for constantly turning his face into my chest.

Wait a minute...duh! Hoss was looking for the breast. So, I offered it to him half-heartily - not really expecting much. Then he nursed for 25 minutes in total. Go figure. All this time the experts were insisting the therapy with the bottle was the only way - and I was listening. Even an anti-socialist like me can get caught in the trap of ignorance. It took an infant to point it out to me!

From that point on, Hoss has chosen the breast over bottle. He is taking a doe-doe now, which is something I am most grateful for at 4 a.m. To top it all off, three days after he decided he would be a breast fed boy, he also pulled out the NG tube by himself. Which is good, because I might have received some prying questions from doctors if I had removed it. Did I mention how much I hated it?

Meet the tubeless wonder boy: First day at the beach!So there you have it...a little child shall lead them.

Policy and Procedure

2010-08-28T07:54:00.004-04:00

Living in an institution can really bring the characteristics of a society to light. While Hoss was in different hospitals during his first 6 weeks of life, I was living in and around those hospitals, too. As both Hoss and I started to come out of our respective comas (his drug induced, mine emotionally induced), I started questioning different events that were directly affecting our situation - much to the chagrin of some of the medical staff.

The first incident involved the use of morphine on my little guy. Yes, I understand he would have a heck of a headache from the brain hemorrhage, but morphine is not a drug that I have ever appreciated. I have seen it do some nasty things to people and had some loopy moments myself on the one occasion that it was prescribed to me. So I asked for the plan to reduce it in Hoss' medication regime. The standard answer, "that's up to the doctor."

Well then...let's get hold of the doctor. I patiently listened to the doctor's explanation as to why the drug was implemented. Then asked again..."what is the plan to reduce it?"

Slowly the staff realizes I am not going to nod my head up and down at their 'expert' opinion and then they actually set a plan to reduce, then remove the drug from the medications that Hoss is taking. Excellent decision.

Keep in mind that I truly see SickKids hospital as a place that does incredible work with some amazing success stories. The staff are gentle and kind to parents as well as the patients. However, even the staff can become institutionalized in the way they operate. That means they stop thinking in individualized cases and stick to policies and procedure (or protocol is another word they like to use). Where I ran into the most difficulty with this lack of common sense in favour of policy and procedure was at the second, smaller hospital after leaving SickKids.

When an infant is born in hospital and has never been discharged to home, that infant is always placed in the hospital nursery rather than a general paediatric unit. So it was for us when transferred out of SickKids. The second hospital booked us right into their nursery that was set up to hold 6 infants at one time. However, during our two week stay that nursery held up to 10 babies because of sudden admissions from OB. It was tight quarters!

As Hoss began to improve, I found the situation inappropriate for his needs. Because of the many parents, visitors and staff coming and going through the nursery it was difficult for Hoss to concentrate on learning to take a bottle (I had given up on breastfeeding earlier and started expressing the milk due to the lack of privacy). The high number of babies in the nursery also made it nearly impossible for the staff to work with Hoss on his bottle when I was not there. It was much easier for the nurses to just plug him into the machine on his feeding tube. Therefore, I would spend four days at 12 - 14 hours in the nursery in the hospital working with Hoss to improve his feeding skills only to leave for two days at home and he would not have any practice at all.

(BTW this same problem occurs for the elderly that I have generally worked with in my former career. Therapy of any kind simply does not happen with hospital staffing levels. It isn't the nurses to blame, they simply do not have the time to put into therapy exercises. If a senior has a hip replaced, the exercises and walking practice simply do not occur with hospital staff. Which leads to the adage 'people do not get better in the hospital' - at least not where the extra time is needed.)

This gave rise to my approaching the staff about Hoss being moved out of the nursery to a general paediatric room where parents are expected to stay 24hours to provide the extra care. Once again I ran into the policy and procedure wall.

Doctor, with patient look of condescension, "it isn't the general practice to move an infant out of the nursery when they have never been discharged to home before"

Me: "I understand that, however, for Hoss it would beneficial to improving his feeding skills - which is the only thing left to work on before his discharge"

Doctor: "well, general paeds is considered to be more infectious because of the people being admitted from home. Hoss would be vulnerable to several new viruses. Now, if he doesn't progress on his intake at the bottle we may look at sending him home with the feeding tube in place. But, that would be in the future and isn't generally done either."

Me, with patience and polite tone: "Are you telling me that the nursery is less likely to have viruses enter it? This nursery that has 4 babies more than it is supposed to have, therefore 4 families more sharing the room all together. Plus all the visitors that come into the open nursery to visit all 10 babies and, because of the extra babies, the nurses that are currently working on both general paeds and in the nursery - when Hoss would have a private room in general paeds with just his own family visiting. How is this a better set up?"

Doctor, with stunned look replacing look of condescension, "well, I guess that does sound unreasonable when looked at it in that way...but, policy and procedure have been set up this way."

Me, working really hard not to be condescending: "Tell me who to talk to about changing policy and procedure for Hoss' best interests. He needs his mom here around the clock in order to provide his direct care. Unless anyone can guarantee that his occupational therapy will be completed properly even when I am not here."

Doctor, with look of resignation, "I'll see what we can do."

One day later, Hoss was moved to general paediatrics. The room had a pull out bed for me and was private - no roommates. The nurse on duty that day looked at me with an amused smile, "I do not know how you managed this, but I know that alot of moms in the nursery have asked before and have been told it does not happen. After all,..."

I finished her sentence for her, "I know...policy and procedure."

Hoss and I were in the hospital for four more days. We did get discharged home with the feeding because I pulled out the secret weapon that the 'experts' find hard to ignore.

"I am a nurse, after all." Never mind that I am an experienced mom that is confident in the care I provide to my child. Never mind that no one cares more about my son's health than myself and my husband. That would not have convinced the 'experts' to discharge us with what is considered a complex medical concern. However, being a nurse hits the right button and everyone breaths a big sigh of understanding.

After all, as a nurse I totally understand policy and procedure.

Though He Slay Me... (part 2)

2010-08-22T22:43:00.010-04:00

I was so angry with God, but afraid to say it out loud. Is it okay to angry with God? Will He strike me down if I admit it to anyone? The bible tells me in several places to 'pour out my heart', but my heart didn't have anything nice to say to Him. Why is He putting my family through this trauma? Why is my newborn son's life hanging in the balance after waiting ten years for another child?

WHY?!

My son was born on June 13th and I was having this conversation with myself in my first full shower on June 15th in the parent's room at SickKids hospital in Toronto. The neonatologist had visited us this same evening to discuss the findings of his assessments and tests so far. The doctor's best guess was that our son had suffered a stroke during birth - because he was big and came fast. The only test remaining to complete was an MRI, which would be completed that night. We would have confirmation on a diagnosis within 24 hours, but we needed to be prepared for the possibility that our baby would not breath on his own, may never walk or come out of a constant seizure state.

How does a parent sleep after a conversation such as this? I can tell you, there is no sleeping.

We could visit our boy anytime we wanted, 24hours a day. He was on such heavy medications, including three seizure drugs, that he was unconscious. The many tubes and wires that were attached to him made it difficult to touch him and he was very swollen from many needle pricks and fluids he had received. All this, and the machine doing the breathing for him, he looked more like a robot than a baby.

The next 24hour wait is very much a blur in my mind. I know I ate, because my dad and his wife came and brought food to us. I know I walked around the hospital, because I remember feeling great resentment about how cheery they had made the environment (I wanted my surroundings to be just as black as I felt). I know my husband was at my side the entire time, because I remember holding his hand almost constantly. What I don't remember is talking, or thinking, or acknowledging anything. Both my husband and I were living in a fog.

For as much as we, as parents, were being drawn through the 'valley of death', our little Duck was having a hard time, too. In some ways it was harder for her because she was not at the hospital with us. She was seperated from her entire family and had little information other than her new baby brother was very sick. We were trying to protect her from the worst, but she is far more intelligent than we were giving her credit for being - she already had started praying for a miracle.

We finally reached the next evening and the neonatologist returned to our room, bringing the social worker and the duty nurse with him. This, to me, was a sign that he wanted extra support for the negative news he was about to deliver. He drew a picture of a brain to show us what had been discovered from the tests. Our son had suffered a brain bleed in the left ventricle of his brain. The blood that had collected in the ventricle had caused the seizures and some brain damage could be seen on the wall of the ventricle.

He raised his head to look at us and said, "this is far better news than a diagnosis of stroke".

What? This is good news?

The doctor continued to explain that the bleed had stopped on it's own and the blood would also reabsorb on it's own - our bodies are made to work that way. The damage was a small area on the wall of the ventricle that may affect our boy's right sided motor skills and his vision (they know this because the brain is mapped out very well). However, because he is just newborn, there may not be any noticeable affect. As he grows and learns to grab and walk and use his right side, he may simply adapt to any weaknesses and develop normally.

Yes...this was much better news than a stroke, which would have damaged a much larger portion of his brain. The doctor smiled at us and said, "I'm glad my initial assessment was wrong."

At this point, my nurse brain snapped back on - I started asking about care plans, future therapy, reductions in medications, etc. It didn't take me long to move past the dark world that I had been living in and move to a place of hope again.

It took a little longer to reconcile my feelings toward the Lord. The prayer of thanks was immediate, but I didn't have the answer to my 'why?' question. In the end, I have concluded that we are 'vessels of clay' and He will 'have mercy on whom He will have mercy.' I serve a soveriegn God and although I don't understand the purpose in this event, I simply accept that He had a purpose - and I may never know what it was.

For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than you thoughts. Isaiah 55:8&9

To make the final part of the story short, our little man spent three weeks in SickKids before being transferred back to the first NICU where his seizures started. He stayed in that hospital for another two weeks and then CAME HOME! He came home with a feeding tube in place, but he was bright eyed and active. That activity has shown that his right arm and leg are strong and moving just as much as his left side!

I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvellous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well. Psalm 139:14

I will expound on some of the details that I've skipped over here (including a commentary about why I still don't support socialized medicine). However, with a newborn boy keeping me busy at home - the posts may be slow in getting out.

Meet 'Hoss':

And the best babysitter I could ever have:

Though He Slay Me... (part one)

2010-08-12T23:11:00.008-04:00

When expecting a child, most women daydream of the time they hold their new little one in their arms. To be able to gaze into your newborn's eyes, count ten fingers and ten toes. These anticipations are the thoughts that come at the end of a pregnancy - at least, that's where my thoughts were before June 13th of this year. My son was born that day. Just five days overdue.

I woke up at 1:30 a.m. in labour and woke the rest of my family by 2:30 a.m. to get ready to go to the hospital. After phoning the OB nurse at that same time, my water broke and we quickly headed out the door. Only a short labour period past and my son was born at 3:57 a.m. - that's only 2 1/2 hours from beginning to end. Some women with long labours may be impressed, even jealous at this expediency. Don't be, it was not a good thing.

Our handsome boy weighed in at 9lbs and 6 1/2 oz, 22 inches long. He was very bruised about his head because of the speed he came through the birth canal. Immediately, the medical staff noted that his blood sugar was too low and started the process to raise it. Their efforts did not improve the situation and within 5 hours of delivery we were transferred from our small town hospital to a more technologically advanced Neonatal Intensive Care Unit about an hour south of us. Little did we know the events that were to come.

Because my boy was in the care of a NICU with 24hour monitors and high ratio of staff to patient it was noted that he started to have seizures. In fact, the seizures became continuous to the point that he would stop breathing and require resuscitation. This is only day two of his life. Before this day was over, my son was intubated onto a full time respirator and we were being transferred to The Hospital for Sick Children in Toronto with no idea why the seizures were happening or if they could get them under control. More seriously, would our son ever breath on his own again. We had only held him for a short time after his birth and I had not been able to nurse him yet.

When we arrived at SickKids hospital, we were presented with the some of the initial test results and physical assessments. They did not know why the seizures were occurring. They did not know why this baby boy would not breath on his own. They only knew that we should be prepared for the possibility of having to say 'goodbye' to our boy after only saying 'hello' a few short hours before.

This isn't how it is supposed to happen. Not only did I start sending desperate cries to God, I had so many questions as to 'why' He would allow this to happen to my family. While I am questioning Him, I'm also trying to answer my 10 year old daughter's questions that are the same as mine. 'Why, Lord, why?' I didn't have an answer for her. All we could do was cry together as a family...and wait.

I was drawn to the book of Job - here was a man who had suffered much and maintained his faith:

What? shall we receive good at the hand of God, and shall we not receive evil? Job 2:10b

Though he slay me, yet will I trust him: Job 13:15

Obviously, I wanted a positive ending to our trauma. I did not want to share in Job's strengths by losing my child. I did not want to say goodbye.

(more to come as I am able to write it)

Making It Official

2010-04-28T22:41:00.004-04:00

Let me start by saying 'thank you' to the lovely ladies who have emailed me to ask about my extended absence on the blog. I am fine, the baby is fine. The e-notes just brought forward the need to sign off the web world...albeit temporarily.

It isn't that I haven't had post ideas on my mind, in fact I have several notes jotted down. I just haven't got the energy to stay awake for my usual blogging time, which is after Duck and Dad are in bed. Somewhere between 10 p.m. and midnight I still enjoy visiting and reading other blogs, but pulling out the keyboard and concentrating on my spelling and grammar is just beyond my brain (baby brain!) at this point in my pregnancy.

So, I am signing off for a blogging sabbatical. At least for a few months until my life has returned to a normal energy level and some semblance of routine. If you want an announcement when the baby arrives, just email me and I will be sure to keep you in the loop.

You will see me around the web world visiting though - I need the encouragement that is always found at my favourite sites!

Slippery Slope

2010-04-14T23:37:00.000-04:00

Not too long ago, my husband became acquainted with a man who has only been a Canadian in the last ten years. Originally from Czechoslovakia, he is a little older than we are (mid 50's) and therefore he grew up in a communist regime.

He describes his childhood as pleasant and family oriented, with strong connections to community. He remembers that although there was limited choices for manufactured goods, everyone had enough -very little differences between classes of people. Owning a home or land was set up by 'promising' to work within a factory for a certain number of years - but it was a great possibility for people. Life as a young man in this arena meant learning many trades through hands-on work, i.e. if you wanted fresh vegetables, you learned to farm or traded with someone who farmed. Admittedly, there were strict political rules, but he does not recall feeling 'oppressed'.

Why did he leave and come to Canada? Communism fell and socialism moved in. He describes his old country as going from relatively crime free to a place that was unsafe to raise children. The change from an entrepreneurial and neighbourly spirit among people to a 'what's in it for me' state.

This man is very gracious in his comparisons with Canada. Not actually saying things were better under communism, but gently questioning whether socialism is better. And Canada is certainly socialist. Over time, Canadians have gotten exactly what they asked for and more. A nanny state.

In this country, there are drastic differences in the social classes. I do believe that the opportunity to be overtly wealthy is still out there for the hard working, entrepreneurial type. However, it is less likely with the apathetic laziness that increases with each generation raised by the state agencies.

The United States has little sprouts of socialism, too. The other day I was following some links on the story of a young girl who died at the hands of her adoptive parents. These parents claim the the death occurred because they were following the child training program from the Pearl's ministry.

Now, anytime the secular world can criticize those who call themselves christian, they do so with gusto! However, reading a lot of the comment threads of these stories, the Christians are hopping on the bandwagon of criticism. too. So many people wrote about their dislike of the Pearl's ministries and agreeing that they are to blame for this child's death (and apparently other's). A call to "someone needs to stop people like this", again referring to the Pearl's ministries.

Whoa...Hold on there, partner. I smell socialism.

If "someone" is going to want the Pearls stopped, then it will likely be an agency to govern free speech. A blessing that the U.S. citizens have at this time. The Pearl's can preach, teach, write about anything they want - no one has to listen to them.

"But what about the poor, unlearned and susceptible people who get taken in by these dangerous ministries?"

Then those 'poor, unlearned and susceptible people' are responsible for their own choices and actions. I don't agree with the Pearl's doctrine or their teachings on a whole, either. I have read several of their books and even ordered their newsletter, No Greater Joy, for a short period. I am still responsible for discerning between wisdom and foolishness - we all are.

When God tells us to 'study and show yourselves approved' (2 Timothy 2:15), He isn't talking about algebra! As Christ's representatives on earth, we are wholly responsible to know how God would have us live - not any earthly ministry. Even my own pastor preaches things I do not agree with and have had to study the scriptures to confirm my own convictions on the given subject.

Let's stop making excuses for our own lack of biblical understanding and keep our eyes open for anyone who would lead us astray from God's true word.

If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him. James 1:5

Family Friendly

2010-04-06T08:49:00.001-04:00

These title words used to hold a lot of value when making decisions for a family. A family friendly restaurant or movie would generally get business from families looking for certain level of service or entertainment. Over the years this term has changed in meaning as the family has changed. If the family is made up of unmarried, teen aged parents with little to no visible self respect in the way they dress, behave or speak...what exactly does family friendly mean?

The 'golden arches' used to be considered a family friendly place to sit and eat with the kids. I don't see it this way as of late. The music being piped into the dining room can be anything from too loud to too crude - or both. There has been one occasion where I spoke directly to the manager to point out the crude lyrics of the song being played (I won't even repeat it here) and had the music turned off. Oddly enough, no one complained about the lack of music.

Another occasion at this same food place, I stood in line waiting for our order only to be confronted with one young female staff member bending over to reveal her pink thong and at least half of her backside! This time it was one of the managers!

The same lack of value can be placed on movies deemed to be family friendly. Several years ago we learned the hard way that a G movie does not mean it is appropriate for kids. The movie was about a spelling bee for public school kids (and was actually very entertaining) when out of no where someone decided to add profanity to the show. You could have knocked me over when it happened. Even christian movie reviewers seem to have lost the concept of 'acceptable' entertainment when they are recommending movies with comments like: "there are only a few incidents of sexual innuendo", "the message in the story outweighs the fact that profanity is used a couple of times". Yes, those are actual comments by christian movie reviewers.

We can never forget the wisdom that God lays out for us about allowing evil to become even a small part of our lives.

Know ye not that a little leaven leaveneth the whole lump? 1Cor. 5:6b

Simple, straightforward and plain as day for the christian to follow. It only takes a little bit of apathy toward sinful ways to give a good foothold for Satan to get into our lives - or the lives of our children. Don't be fooled...Satan wishes to sift us as wheat and will use any means to do it. It was Francis Schaeffer who said: "Show me what the world is saying today and I'll show you what the church will be saying in seven years." So true when we rely on the world to set a standard for our families.

Never be afraid to speak up about music invading your senses in public places - generally, the response is positive. Even if a request to silence the music is denied, it is an opportunity to teach our children about God's standards...and to find a new place to eat.

Seasons

2010-04-01T08:30:00.001-04:00

This time of year the north brings some ugly sights. Yes, the grass is visible and buds are just starting to show on the branches, but the remainder of winter leaves an irrefutable 'yuck' in the last piles of snow that can be found on corners or just under clumps of trees. The problem is that this snow does not look like snow - the fresh, white, sparkling snow that we have had renewed each week since last November. It is dirty and a real eyesore to the landscape now. Each time I pass a pile of this leftover snow, I reminisce a little about the previous beauty of winter.

If I can be a little philosophical for a moment, it does remind me of how easily we can cover the filth in our lives with a good facade. This dirty snow was part of the winter landscape the whole time - it was just hidden under the surface of the fresh, clean snow. There are many times I am disappointed when someone's real character ends up being less than the sparkling snow I was presented with when I met them. You know, when the dirt in their life becomes more obvious after getting to know them better.

Our first impressions mean alot, that's true. However, if that first impression is just a thin layer of sparkle over some real dirt, two things are possible. First, eventually that dirt will be visible to those who become close to us. Second, we are so aware of our dirt that we refuse to let anyone get close to us in order to keep hiding it. Neither choice is a real glory to God.

There is no denying that we all have this lower layer of dirt. Thankfully the Lord has a much better way to cover it in a much more permanent way than the freshly driven snow!

Thou has forgiven the iniquity of thy people, thou hast covered all their sins. Selah.

Psalm 85:2

Tightwad Tuesday

2010-03-16T12:38:00.003-04:00

Hey! Look at me, I finally have something to add to Mary's weekly event! I lurk over at Tightwad Tuesday regularly, however, even though I am very cheap I don't often have anything original to offer. In fact, this idea may be a re-hashed one for frugal experts - but it is one that I have had to go back to using recently.

The price of milk has threatened on many occasions to bulge my budget and I really do not like powdered milk. Yes, I know the use of powdered milk is extolled by many a frugal housewife. It has been tried in my house and failed miserably. Lately, with the price of milk going up (yet again!), I have gone back to using a old method to skimp and save. Water.

No, not replace the milk with water. I buy 2% milk (in Canada in comes in bags, each bag holding 1 and 1/3 litres), then pour one bag into a 2 litre jug. The remainder of the jug is filled with water - i.e. giving me 2 litres of milk from 1 and 1/3 litres. The taste is similar, if not the same, as the 1% milk I usually buy. This is a method in which my family has not noticed any difference whether drinking the milk straight or in use for cooking and baking.

Just as a side note, the watered down milk also works with my kefir grains, too. If I could get my family to drink kefir alone - well, I won't hold my breath for that one!

More Tightwad Tuesday is over at Mary's site. Hopefully there will be other ideas that I can share in the future weeks.

2010-03-13T10:31:00.004-05:00

I'm still here - I barely make it behind the steering wheel, so where would I go? OK, so far it's only 16lbs added - much better than when I carried Duck 10 years ago! My husband take a little too much pleasure in snapping these side shots.

I do like being pregnant. Please excuse me while I search out something crunchy...no, spicey...no, maybe salty...hmmmm

A Pep Talk

2010-02-24T08:24:00.000-05:00

Over the last few months Duck has been attending singing lessons with a young SAHM who lives just a few blocks from us. We had known this young lady previously from the church circle in town - that was before she was married with kids. Being a homeschooling grad herself, and a SAHM, we were glad to give her some business when Duck expressed an interest in singing.

After a few singing sessions, this teacher started talking about homeschooling. I have heard the story before, "I wanted to homeschool my kids, but didn't think I could manage with two girls of school age and a baby boy, too." It's a widely held fallacy (or sometimes just an excuse) that public school is better for the older kids if mom has an infant to care for, as well. Her husband was not homeschooled, so when she had doubts about it, he encouraged public school.

Our short conversations about how we homeschool seemed to be polite exchange only - maybe a little curiosity, but not real interest in changing her situation. So, I answered her questions and expressed how much our family has benefited from homeschool. With no intention of changing to public school now that we have a baby on the way. She would smile and nod and the conversation ended. Very typical of conversations I have had in the past with curiosity seekers. Little did I know what God was doing.

Soon the conversations became more probing and she told me she had been speaking with other homeschooling parents from her church. Again, I am cautious about 'pushing' homeschool on anyone. Too many times I have seen people jump on the band wagon without really having a conviction from the Lord to train up their children in a homeschooling atmosphere - something that I see as crucial for success. So, I continued to talk positively to this young mom and I gave her Voddie Baucham's video 'Children of Caesar' with a preliminary warning that he is staunch in his homeschooling beliefs.

Well she watched the video - three times in two weeks. She watched it with friends, with her husband and with her parents. She told me about the behaviours she has seen in her public school daughters that disturb her and her husband - and they are only in grade 1 & 2. She wanted more information. I had to be careful not to spoil things for her and not to build her up for a fall either.

Homeschool is hard. Some days it is impossible! Anyone wanting to get into homeschool needs to know this and be prepared. I told her about my experience and how the responsibility falls on me for each day to happen with contentment even when things go awry. I talked about the benefits of my close relationship with Duck and how when things are tense/stressed at home, it is usually me that's responsible for letting it get that far. I told her I wouldn't change it for anything! That my husband and I are committed and convicted to the successful raising of a 'person' - not just emulating public school and creating another clone for society.

Then I held my tongue, 'you take it from here, Lord.'

She has continued to move toward bringing her kids home. I'm glad to see the slow steps she and her husband are taking, because it shows she is taking the whole process seriously. She has borrowed our old grade 1 & 2 school books to look through. She has ordered curriculum catalogues and visited other homeschooling families to see how the day goes. It also appears she will take some of my other advice and attend a homeschooling conference this spring.

It is exciting to see a young family taking the step to be full time parents. It also brings anxiety - 'have I given good counsel? do I pose a good role model? Am I presenting a balanced view of benefits and challenges that will come? have I given a good testimony for the life God has provided by following His will?'

Only God knows - I'm sure He will show me the answers to these questions in time. Until then...

But sanctify the Lord God in your hearts: and be ready always to give an answer to every man that asketh you a reason of the hope that is in you with meekness and fear:

1 Peter 3:15

Who Are You?

2010-02-22T07:41:00.001-05:00

Something new has happened in our house. Actually, it's happening outside of the house twice a day. Duck has a job.

A few weeks back, we were receiving strange messages on our voicemail. We all just assumed that the voice of the senior lady was calling the wrong number and we would have to be home to catch the call to tell her. The messages were generally the same, "hi, it's Barb. I'll try to catch you later or you can reach me at home." We don't know a 'Barb' and certainly didn't know how to get her at home. Even after three messages, she never left her number.

Finally, my husband was home to receive the call from her. This time she asked for me by name - ? So, he took her message, complete with phone number, so that I could call her back. Turns out she and I have never met (I always enjoy proof that I'm not crazy), but she had been given my name as someone who may be able to walk her dog for her. We talked over the details and arranged to visit her the following day.

'Barb' is a senior living independently in condo with only her little dog as regular company. For those of you who have never dealt with seniors on a regular basis, this scenario means the dog is spoiled rotten!

Anyway, she needed someone to take the dog, Missy, out twice a day for short walks. With her condo only a five minute drive away, my husband and I decided Duck could take on this responsibility until the end of April (that is the estimated time of when I will not fit behind the steering wheel of the car). Barb and Missy were happy with our suggestion and the deal was done.

Now, just before lunch and again before supper, we drive over and take Missy out to accomplish her duties. Sounds pretty simple, right? Don't forget, this dog is spoiled. First, we have to put on her outdoor clothes. Then, the walk needs to be at least 20 minutes, generally in the direction that Missy wants to go. When we return, she must be towelled off thoroughly because the snow clumps in her fur. Finally, we enter the kitchen and brush her teeth - because the vet prescribed this treatment.

It is a great lesson as part of homeschool and we may continue for a couple of days per week after April. Just not the full 7 days per week, which is a real drain on our daily scheduling.

All in all, Duck is learning a great deal about fulfilling a job well and taking care of her money. Get this...it's ten dollars per day! That's $60 a week, because we volunteer our time on Sunday, and then she gets an extra $5 for teeth brushing. At this point, even though most of the paycheque is banked, Duck has more cash in her wallet than I do.

Living in the Fast Lane

2010-02-20T00:24:00.003-05:00

Wanna know a fast way to feel really stupid? Try to program your computer. Yep, that's what we have been doing for a week now. The computer guy put a new operating system on for us, but we decided to program all the hardware ourselves (because we are cheap). How hard can it be, we asked ourselves. Unbelievably hard!

What we have realized through the process is that these computer guys got together and created their own language with back slashes, colons and short forms that make absolutely no sense to the common person. We could not have had a harder time if we had removed our brains before we started - actually, that may have helped!

In the end, the computer is running well. A new system has us on high speed for internet that also delivers our phone line, as well - no more Bell bills! The high speed is great for accomplishing tasks quickly and even listening to speakers/sermons on line. We have lost our program for watching/recording tv, though. The old operating system (Vista) had the program built in, and we used it alot. We did manage to put on a much simpler tv program, but there is no remote control (gasp!) and we haven't quite figured out how to work it, yet. So we'll still be roughing it in that area.

I have several posts ideas written out to share with the blog world. Now to find the time to do it...

I'll Be Back

2010-02-10T10:48:00.004-05:00

Right now we are having our computer rebuilt - to be better, faster...and more expensive. I have spent the last few days copying everything important onto CD because the computer guy is wiping the system clean and putting on a new operating system, as well as some new hardware.

Call it an impromptu internet fast, ala Jennifer at Conversion Diary. Kind of a forced fast, really. I think of things to share here on the blog several times daily and then remember it has to wait. Knowing my memory these days, I've had to implement the old fashion blog - pen and paper!

Hopefully, the technology will cooperate (HA!) and I will have my computer back soon. Think of me!

You Just Never Know

2010-01-29T23:04:00.001-05:00

So much of this pregnancy has been the same as my first. I very rarely felt nauseous; I never throw up; and have similar cravings (tomatoes and pineapples - not together). So I have convinced myself that this was another girl. I know...not very scientific, but really, with only one pregnancy to go by it seems logical.

A little over a week ago, I had my first ultrasound. My friend, Lesley and Duck and I drove to the hospital with anticipation of seeing the baby for the first time. My husband and I had already chosen her name...Topanga Grace. The first name means 'unexpected' - get it? Unexpected grace! Which we thought was pretty cool. The ultrasound was just giving us confirmation to call her by name starting now.

Well, I was on that table for 45 minutes. The baby would not hold still for pictures (in fact, I have to go for a follow up u/s next week to try for better measurements). After about half way through, I had to ask to change position and the technician started talking about what she was seeing. At that point, I mentioned that we did want to confirm the gender if she could see that.

"Oh, I already know that.", she says with a grin.

"Can you tell me, or do I have to wait.", I ask as I bite my tongue to be patient with her.

"Sure, definitely a boy."

Uh-oh.

I was wrong. Something so rare I was speechless for a moment ;o)

So now the dilemma. We had no boy names prepared. Oh sure, we had tossed a few around in a casual manner early on...and there were some names we had considered in previous times. However, to officially be having a boy brings out the serious discussions! So here is a list of some of the top contenders. For the sake of being fair, I won't tell you which are mine, which are my husband's, or which are Duck's choices.

Comments and suggestions are encouraged!

Benjamin

Caleb

Isaiah

Jeremiah

Makobe (ma - KO - bee) - it means river, but mostly it is a combination of Mack and Jacob

Sullivan

We certainly talk about alot of others, but these are the ones that keep coming forward.

Still Cute After All These Years

2010-01-26T19:52:00.002-05:00

Many years ago, probably when Duck was about 3 years old, she was famous for singing songs with her version of words. For instance, one that is always remembered fondly by my husband and I:

"it's amazing what praising can do...halla-lube-ya, halla-lube-ya!"

Now, at the great old age of 10, she is such a little lady. Well spoken, generally articulate and a good sense of humour. Also, still a real singer. The other day she was humming in the back seat of the car as we were headed for home:

"in the meadow we can build a snowman, and pretend that he is possum Brown..."

I guess she's unfamiliar with the word parson. Just a reminder that she is still a kid, and just as cute as when she was three.

Growing Apart

2010-01-19T07:25:00.000-05:00

It happens in every marriage, I can't admit to being really surprised it is happening to mine. Some might think I should be more saddened by my husband and I growing apart, except I'm not talking about an emotional situation.

No. This is a physical thing that we have both noticed in the last couple of weeks. You see, I am taller than my husband by a small amount, but we have always managed to compromise about the position of the driver's seat in the car. Not anymore.

Either he is getting shorter or...OK, it's me. I'm the problem. At 20 weeks pregnant, I no longer can fit behind the wheel of the car without adjusting the seat. Everytime my husband gets into the driver's seat after I have been using the car, he can't reach to push in the clutch.

Actually, my repositioning of the seat is a bench mark for when I won't be able to work anymore. When I was pregnant with Duck all those years ago, I remember the day there was no posibility of driving anymore. That point is still awhile away - but that is when I need help to grocery shop, visit friends and go to work.

Never mind tying my own shoes, Duck is here for that when I need her, but soliciting for chauffeurs is another case altogether! I'll let you know when I get there!

Living on 'Time'

2010-01-15T18:58:00.008-05:00

I'm not really a fan of Oprah. She certainly seems to be a nice woman with her heart set on helping people. Just helping in a temporal, worldy sense vs. an eternal and biblical sense. It's just that the few times I catch parts of her talk show, I'm left with a feeling of frustration in the 'help' she does offer.

The other day I was folding laundry and clicked on the TV for a little side entertainment - and there she was with her concerned expression for her guest. The woman sitting with her was describing how she had been living a fairytale life on Park Avenue with her investment banker husband and 3 kids with gala dinner parties among their affluent friends. Until one day she found her husband preparing a noose for himself in the middle of the night. She stated that it was only at that moment that her husband confessed that he had been indicted by the feds for fraud and was going to jail that very morning. Up to that point, as they talked over the noose, the guest stated that she had had no idea that there was anything wrong (oh, except her suspicions of her husband's marital affairs that she chose to ignore to keep the peace in their marriage).

Oprah: "So, how did you become so oblivious to these events with your husband?"

HMMM...because she chose to ignore those signs of trouble, just like she chose to ignore the affairs?

Or, because she was completely wrapped up in the parties and shopping and didn't really care to know any details?

Nope.

Apparently, the reason she was taken so much by surprise was because she was "in the fog of motherhood".

What?

Did she just say motherhood makes you stupid?

In fact, that was exactly what she was saying.

As she continued to talk, I stopped folding laundry. It seems because she had her 3 kids so close together, she ended up "surrendering" her independent, educated self to become "foolishly" dependent on her husband.

I don't want to shock anyone, but I have a different theory on what happened in this situation. Let's call it the credit vs. cash theory for marriage and life.

We have all heard how people have sunk in debt because they chose to live on credit. All the "experts" have taken up news time to explain the benefits of only using cash for purchases - getting rid of credit and debit cards in order to live on actual income, rather than borrowed. It's amazing to me that these experts spent so much time in school to learn this radical way of thinking. (Matthew 18:25)

This same cash vs. credit theory works for marriage and life, too. If we look at this woman's life, she enjoyed the perks of her Park Avenue lifestyle, however talked of nothing as far as a relationship with her husband (outside of the suspected affars). She like living on 'credit' - the image of having it all and the outside appearance of being affluent, whether she was actually affluent or not. She never really wanted to live on 'cash' for her life and marriage. Looking at the 'cash' - the reality - would mess up her image of herself. It isn't that she "surrendered" her independence to her husband in a loving, trusting marriage. She surrendered any wisdom she may have had for folly. (Proverbs 1:7 & 22)

Admitting that fact would be accepting true fault in the situation. Blaming the "fog of motherhood" removes personal blame a step away - "if only I wasn't a mother, I would have known what was happening". Certainly true motherhood takes up your day - and there are times when a mother may feel disorganized & disconnected. However, not to the extent of ending an active relationship with our husbands.

Of course, Oprah explained all this to her guest. NOT. Their discussion ended with how the woman got her life back by rejoining the workforce. Oh, yeah and dumping that awful husband.

Motherhood on the backburner. Marriage forgotten. A perfect life for an independent educated self - at least in the "fog of Oprahland".

Oh, the Pressure!

2010-01-15T09:05:00.003-05:00

I am not spending alot time on the computer as of late and I turn it on this morning to find 10 messages! My apologies to those of you who asked questions, I will spend time this evening updating things. Thank you all for your encouragement - and the fact that you share some my trials (and laughter) is always a good feeling.

With this growing belly, I am having a hard time sitting at the keyboard, but I would love for each of you to visit when you can. Sometimes...occasionally...well, every now and then I have good ideas for posts.

I also look forward to visiting any sites that my visitors have...so, I may be lurking!

A thank you to Jennifer for linking some of you!

A Quick Link

2010-01-10T15:30:00.004-05:00

Jasmine, over at Joyfully Home, is running a giveaway - and I want to win! She has written a short review about 'Homeschool Dropouts', a new video from Western Conservatory. If you are interested in entering to win one of these videos, just click the link - here.

Assumptions

2010-01-07T08:32:00.000-05:00

We all do it. When we look at a stranger in a crowd that is dressed in an unusual manner, or speaking loudly, or is just plain...well, weird.

I know I do it even with those around who aren't really strangers - just acquaintances. Then I think I know all I need to know about them to set my opinion. However, if I'm being truthful, my opinions are based on assumptions. Then my interaction with these people is affected by my assumptive opinion. Not alot of love in that habit. Especially when compared to how the Lord chose to interact with me without any assumptions - He already knew everything about me!

That admission to a bad habit generally isn't enough to change it. Unfortunately my bad habits stick with me until God gets tired of waiting for me to improve. This is an example of becoming the victim of my own habit.

Without a doubt there are those in my small community who are making great assumptions about me right now. There are groups who assume this pregnancy was an 'accident' and, therefore, unwanted. There are groups who assume that after years of disappointment, I must have used special medical intervention to become pregnant. There are still others who assume that my Pastor (who is known to stand firm on God's sovereignty of the womb, and has encouraged other couples to seek this out scripturally) has talked my husband and I into this pregnancy - you know, convinced us to be more 'righteous'.

All these groups include both Christians and non. All assuming they know the 'why' of this pregnancy. They do not know me very well. They do not discuss their assumptions with me face-to-face. Just like me and my assumption habit.

Thou hast beset me behind and before, and laid thine hand upon me. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me; it is high, I cannot attain unto it.

Psalm 139: 5&6

No, I shouldn't make my opinions based on my assumptions of someone's outward appearance. I have no idea what is in their heart. Will I be able to change this bad habit? Well, I'm working on it - with God's help!

Search me, O God, and know my heart: try me, and know my thoughts: And see if there be any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.

Psalm 139: 23 & 24

A Vacation in Pictures

2010-01-04T07:13:00.000-05:00

Obviously, after so many celebrations and a vacation away there are well over a hundred pictures of the events. I had a hard time choosing which ones to share here, but have a look anyway - our first part of Christmas came when we visited my dad...One of the favourite activities at Grampa and Gramma's house is using the burn barrel!Christmas morning and the Duck just opened her first 'real' camera. A real hit for a present...and the reason we will have more pictures like this:And this...We joined our friends for a Christmas dinner and ate far too much - of course.These are the leftovers (and the mess!)Every year we put together a gift basket for the whole family - trying to get something for everyone. What would a gift basket be without some crazy string?The crazy string was everywhere and stuck on everyone. My husband and I were innocent bystanders!The end of the evening was saved for games. We played Settlers of Catan and the men enjoyed Extreme Jenga.

Then, on the 27th, we all headed for Niagara Falls. The whole vacation was relaxing and fun! For the kids it's all about the pool:There was a sun room in the hotel that we used as a personal buffet room for our group. Bringing the groceries cuts down on the expenses.Christmas in Niagara Falls means the Festival of Lights. There were hundreds of displays like the one below. It was cold for walking, but we bared it for one night to see the many displays. There was a blessing in the mix, too. The pool at the hotel was closed down for maintenance one day, so the manager offered us an extra night FREE! The kids were thrilled - OK, so were the adults.

Now, we are home and happy to be in our own beds. The dogs missed us. It is hard to imagine getting back into the routine of school tomorrow, but all vacations must come to an end. (Sigh)

Happy New Year!

Back Soon

2009-12-25T00:00:00.004-05:00

I know it is only a few minutes into Christmas day - but MERRY CHRISTMAS!

I am sure everyone is busy over the next few days, as are we, but I will let you know that my gift from my (AND to my husband) is a trip to Niagara Falls. We very rarely buy items for each other at Christmas, mostly we choose to purchase 'something' for the family. Our choice this year was the trip.

So...have a wonderful week, and I will bring some pictures back with me.

(P.S. Andrea, your comments don't get lost, I am just very slow at getting to the computer recently. Don't worry, eventually it gets done.)

Don't Sweat the Small Stuff

2009-12-18T18:48:00.005-05:00

Believe it or not, this northern part of the country has only had snow (real snow) for about two weeks now. At this time, when we walk up the path to our door, the snow wall is just over three feet deep. This amount of snow, however, came in a 36 hour period - all at once. It was a tremendous storm.

No one in this area is afraid of snow - it is a part of our life for at least 8 months of the year, usually. On the days of the storm, the emergency personnel were telling everyone to stay home. "Don't bother getting into your car, you can't get anywhere." They weren't kidding. I had worked the night shift and walked home in the snow. Thankfully, the plows had cleared the sidewalks most of the way home, but there were very large drifts to climb over at some points. Some people had ignored the warning to stay home (being good northerners!), and several cars were simply abandoned in the streets where they couldn't move any further. The greatest challenge for pedestrians was the oncoming street plows spraying a wall of snow over your head!

Without worry, but not without heavy breathing, I made it home. The walk that usually takes 20-25 minutes took almost 1 and 1/2 hours! An experience, for sure.

Later in the week, with a few more flurries adding to our snow pile, I had to run some errands in town. Fortunately, we have good snow tires on our car and have been manuevering in the snow covered streets/hills well. When I left that day, I noticed that our hill was quite slushy and messy and I slid to a stop at the bottom the hill. All I could think was, "There is no way I am getting back into my driveway." With a shrug of my shoulders I said an 'off-the-cuff' comment to the Lord, "It would nice if the plow and sander came through while I'm out."

Shopping completed, not a plow seen in the entire town, I decided to take a round-about approach to home. One of the hills that runs perpendicular to our hill is much more travelled, therefore the slush and snow is cleared quicker. I decided if I climbed this hill and travelled around the block, I could approach my turn with more acceleration and hopefully get up to the driveway. As I travelled up the main street hill, I passed my street and looked up the hill - slushy and messy, no plowing done. Hope was failing.

I came around the corner and headed down the street that would bring me back to my corner. My hopes of sneaking up the hill with some extra speed came crashing down - oncoming traffic and pedestrians were everywhere - meaning I would have to come to a dead stop before I took the turn and try to make the hill. Hopeless.

Then, truly a gift from God, ten feet before I reached my turn, a plow and sander drove up my hill and cleared the way. My mouth dropped open. You must realize that this makes absolutely no sense. Our road is generally the last to be cleared and sanded. There had been main streets that were still waiting to be cleared.

Just when I think the small stuff in my life isn't important enough to lay at the Lord's feet, He hears my 'off-the-cuff' desire. Then proves, again, that He is listening.

Upside Down Turtle

2009-12-10T10:15:00.002-05:00

My computer is also my television. It is, obviously, in the living room of my home, and we have a bean bag chair that we place in front of the computer/TV stand when keyboarding. Neither my husband or I are technologically advanced enough to set the system up so that we can sit on the couch or lazyboy while 'computing'. I imagine the cost of the extra wiring is more than I am willing to pay, too.

So, I am having a hard time blogging lately. Not because there aren't events happening that I would like to share. No, I have several posts in my mind, actually. The problem is getting up from the computer when I'm done. Getting into the bean bag chair isn't difficult. Just plop down. However, when I am ready to get up, my increasing baby belly adds a new dimension to awkward.

Picture this: I have to roll to one side of the bean bag chair to get on all fours. Depending on which direction I roll, the coffee table or the fireplace provides support as I lift myself to a standing position. The dog thinks I'm playing a game with him.

Generally, it is more worth the effort when I can sit and write several posts all at once. Now that you know, be patient with me and my irregular posting. Of course, each time you do visit and read a new post, picture me rolling back to a standing position - it's okay to laugh, I do.

Occupational Hazards

2009-11-30T21:17:00.000-05:00

My doctor is mad at me. Well...annoyed is probably a better description. This is a small town and the medical community is even smaller. So my doctor and I travel some of the same circles and associate with common people. Therefore, it was only a matter of time before he heard that I was pregnant.

His receptionist called me at home to set up an initial prenatal appointment and I could hear the tone of his voice in hers. Especially when I started arguing that it wasn't necessary to come in to the office yet. At the time, I was only 8 weeks along.

It isn't that, as a nurse, I think I know everything. It's just that I see no need to have my doctor tell me what I do already know...

Prenatal vitamins: check
Monitor weight: check
Moderate exercise: check
Proper nutrition: check

Other than that, the first prenatal includes blood tests that check for pregnancy or infections and to establish my blood type. All of which I also already know. So why hurry in?

That would be my personal philosophy on all my medical needs. If I have signs & symptoms of cold or flu, I live through it without ever discussing it with my doctor. Even if unusual symptoms become part of my days, I generally ignore it and wait to see if it goes away. That is sort of how he found out about this pregnancy so early on.

For several weeks (OK, months) I was having pain just below my left shoulder. When I finally went in for an appointment, my doctor scolded me - literally. I presented weak arguments that I do take these things seriously and I do understand the possibility of potential disease, but my trust isn't in the medical sciences. My trust is in the Lord for whatever may be happening to my body.

I get a blank stare., and an order for a mammogram.

Well, by the time I got around to actually going in for the mammo, I was pregnant - which means the test cannot be completed. Then the hospital staff calls the doctor's office and tattle-tales on me, and the doctor calls me and that brings us back to the phone call.

After a lengthy discussion with the receptionist, we agreed on an appointment date after my 1st trimester was up. She probably got in trouble for letting me convince her to put it off.

Anyway, the appointment is this week (which is actually my 13th week, not quite the 2nd trimester, so I did compromise!). Now, I prepare myself for the lecture. Really, I don't think I know everything. However, I do know God is in charge. So why worry?

My Husband is Trying to Kill Me!

2009-11-30T08:08:00.000-05:00

Okay, maybe that is a slight exaggeration...slight. He's been reading a magazine that talks alot about 'unschooling'. That's the philosophy of home education where there is no curriculum. That means NO SCHEDULING! That would be the part that could kill me.

He's thinking we could start using this as a practical way to encourage different skills for Duck. Forget the books, forget timeframes, just work through individual projects. Can you hear me hyperventilating?

The idea of removing structured learning is kind of scary. What if we forget to teach something really important? What if the school board decides to test all homeschool students and Duck is no longer able to work through test? What am I going to do without a daily schedule?!

OK. Breathe.

My husband asked me to consider the idea and we've come to a compromise. Text books in the morning and practical projects after lunch. The projects we are looking at are sewing, meal preparation, grocery budgeting, photography, etc. By setting each project up as a unit study, Duck will need to work each one from beginning to end and include math, english/reading, research, etc.

I am sure there will be bumps along the way. I am also sure that I 'can do all things through Christ who strengthens me'...as long as I can keep some form of a schedule.

Memories

2009-11-27T07:34:00.000-05:00

I had forgotten how quickly pregnancy makes me feel fat. Just coming to the end of the first trimester and I'm not able to wear alot of my pants and skirts. They still fit fine, and I haven't gained any weight, but the waistbands drive me crazy - even track pants with elastic waistbands.

So over several weeks now, I have purchased some 'Trucker Bob' pants. A term my loving husband has labelled them. I fondly remember a pair of brown, corduroy maternity pants I had when I was pregnant with Duck. They were ugly - seriously, the ugliest pants you could imagine, but the most comfortable!

It seems maternity wear has not progressed much as far as esthetics. I am sure if I wanted to go to the high-end stores and spend a fortune on clothes (that I will only wear for another year) maybe there would be some real fashion treasures. However, Value Village and a little consignment shop called Once Upon a Child have provided 3 bottoms and several tops for the same (or lesser) price of one outfit at a 'maternity' shop. The choice between frugal or vanity is pretty easy for me. Just call me 'Bob'.

Little Sparkles of Joy

2009-11-20T18:24:00.002-05:00

There is no snow yet. It does effect the whole Christmas spirit thing and I haven't had the inclination to take out any decorations, except for some snowflakes that Duck and I made. Then tonight, we went for a drive after dark - which comes as early as 4:45 p.m.!

We drove through town and then down the highways to next village. We were met with pretty sights dotting the darkness. Christmas lights twinkling in different colours. What a sight! What a quick way to raise the spirits!

The next time you're feeling the green Christmas blues, take a ride after dark. You won't regret it!

Not Again!

2009-11-17T22:21:00.004-05:00

Please, no! Not another discussion on the quiverful debate. I can't take it!

Too many times this debate deteriorates into "the mom with the most kids wins", or "the more children you have the more righteous you are". Of course, if this were true, than women who have twins or other multiples would need to be praised alot more than women who give birth to one measly child at a time.

Lo, children are an heritage of the Lord: and the fruit of the womb is his reward. Psalm 127:3

Of course children are a blessing when raised in God's way. But go back to verses 1 & 2 of this Psalm. Only God can put the building in motion for an actual heritage. 'It is vain' for any of us to concern ourselves with the number of arrows in our quiver. For a 'mighty man' (specifically a godly man) can raise up and shoot off the perfect arrow with great aim - even if he only has one. The true quiverful issue lies with trusting God for the number of arrows with which He blesses the womb.

I, as a mother of one beautiful 10 year old, cannot stand the foolishness that surrounds these discussions. Whether it is people who scorn at large families with the worldly arguments of overpopulation; or those who use every scientific means possible (surgeries, medications, surrogates) to give birth over and over. It is a lack of trust that fuels each of these opposing views. A lack of trust that the Lord knows what He is doing.

I have learned that lesson of faith. I didn't have any choice, God built my faith in this area. Ten years without further children sent me to the scriptures many times! I prayed and laid my desires at God's throne, always with the understanding of "Thy will be done". There were plenty of times I considered placing my will over His - after all God allows all these medical technologies to exist - doesn't He expect us to use them? Non-christians are given babies all the time and hand them over to the prince of this world - it's only right and fair that I force my womb to produce more children for His glory. Right?

Even with all the arguments I had with myself I couldn't do it. I know it would be done for my glory - or the glory for some doctor, but not God's glory. I know that there is nothing wrong with my body that God cannot fix if that is His will.

So for ten years, I wait for an answer. For ten years God has built my trust in Him that has affected many areas of my life and can now be passed on to my daughter with confidence.

A lesson that He obviously wanted me to learn. Because now I'm 40 years old and pregnant.

That's right - no grandstanding intended. This is for God's glory! No explanation, no warning. Just pregnant. Eleven weeks today, actually. And the most excited person in the house is the 10 year big sister.

How's that for a story on the building of faith and answered prayer?

Hanging In...

2009-11-05T23:01:00.003-05:00

I'm still here in blogland, occasionally. However, I'm doing more reading than writing this last month. It seems I am in need of some encouragement - and, I am finding it.

God is gracious with me. He has provided some encouragement in the real world, too. After my last post explaining my disillusionment with the christian people around me, one of the women at my church asked me about starting up the ladies' study. I explained that I was not looking at starting a group study, but would be happy to be part of one that someone else may want to start. After a short conversation (where my doubt believed she was looking for a way to get out of the suggestion she had made), she actually suggested a one-on-one study between the two of us.

Cool.

We are currently seeking a study that we will both enjoy sharing together - and I am looking forward to it.

There are other great things to write about - things that have kept me away from my keyboard, but I will get back in the saddle soon!

Seize the Day!

2009-10-20T14:23:00.004-04:00

I know, I know it isn't a biblical saying. Although, I think this particular sentiment is found in scripture regularly. The prophets and apostles never ignored the opportunity to speak out for Christ's glory - and Paul wrote to several of the churches with urgency to change and grow now not later. We had a lesson in this today.

Today, we tossed school aside to take hold of an opportunity to help a complete stranger. It all started on Thanksgiving weekend when a large apartment complex near our home was on fire. It was such a spectacular sight that most of the town was out to see it - I even got Duck out of bed to walk over. Most people were there to help the more than 150 residents of the building that were soon to realize they were homeless. Not having anything to offer at that time, Duck and I went home and talked about how an event like this can show us how easily our 'stuff' can disappear but, at the same time, why we are so thankful for what we do have in this world.

Then this morning we received a phone call from a woman from our church. She was trying to get some help organized for a woman who had lived in the burned out building. Could we come down and help her clean out anything that still remained in her apartment? Absolutely!

Um...okay, maybe I didn't exactly jump at the chance...my first thought was 'what about school?' If I fall behind this early in the year, it sets a bad precedent for the rest of the year - should I really be leaving to clean out someone elses' house when I haven't done my vaccuuming yet? All these thoughts were pretty selfish, I know. My husband quickly squashed them and volunteered us all for the job. So I quickly got over it and agreed to go.

When we arrived, two teen boys from church were already carrying furniture out of the building. Our job was to wrap any ceramics, china or pack up books and clothes that survived the fire. The smell was awful and the sight of the hallway and apartments was incredible. Paint peeling off the walls, floor tiles lifts up, ceiling panels crumbled to the ground - and this was the part of the building that was not touched by fire. This was all water and smoke damage. Walking through reminded me of the conversation Duck and I had spoken on the night of the fire. We really are blessed.

I am so thankful that we could help, even in a small way. Most of all, I am thankful that when we arrived back home my husband read Matthew 25 to Duck and remind us that anything we do "for the least" is done for the glory of God. The woman we helped claims to be saved, but has limited knowledge of scripture or practical day to day living for the Lord. She likely (I didn't delve into details) lives on welfare, is a serious smoker and displayed a 'woe-is-me' attitude all day. However, with no family in the area and significant health problems, there was no way she could have recovered any belongings on her own. She was very grateful for the help - but that wasn't why we did it.

When the Son of man shall come in all his glory, and all the holy angels with him, then shall he sit upon his throne of glory:

Add before him shall be gathered all nations: and he shall seperate them one from another, as a shepherd divideth his sheep from the goats:

And he shall set the sheep on his right hand, but the goats on the left.

Then shall the King say unto them on his right hand, Come ye blessed of my Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world:

Matthew 25:31 - 34

When it comes time for the sheep to be seperated from the goats - I want to be on the sheep side of the divide! It is hard for me to leave my schedule behind, put away school and jump at the chance to help a stranger, who may or may not be thankful. Hopefully, prayerfully, God will continue to remind me why I should do it and why I should show it to my daughter.

A Generation Gap

2009-10-13T08:46:00.002-04:00

While we were camping a few weeks ago, there were very few people in the provincial park at the same time. Travelling with another homeschool family in September generally means there are no line ups and we have the run of anywhere we go - at least on weekdays.

This past trip had one exception. Early in the week several young people arrived to camp at the park (a whole bus load). The ages seem to range from 17-25ish. Their campsites were no where near ours, but we would meet up with them at the comfort station (showers and bathrooms) and park areas. These kids were definitely rough around the edges. Tattoos, shaved heads, immodest dress and vulgarity of speech and behaviour - and that was the girls!

They were not overtly rude to us or anyone that we witness. However, none of our kids were permitted to go to the comfort station without an adult and we did look forward to them going home - partly because we like the campground to ourselves ;o)

One morning I was in washroom to dry my hair after a shower. Two of these young women (I can't bring myself to call them ladies) were sharing the counter space with me and chatting to each other. Every other word was profane, however the entire conversation was gross. One girl was complaining how her multiple sexual partners (both genders) couldn't get along with each other 'for her sake'. They also detailed the physical fight they had apparently both been involved in where they congratulated each other for the successful assault they had accomplished.

There was no attempt to hush their conversation or alter the vulgarity in anyway for the stranger standing beside them - me. This was their 'normal'. They likely knew nothing else. That's why I wasn't really offended. I was just sad. Sad for these lost little girls - because they are someone's little girls. Sad for the whole group of them because they had accepted debauchery as the way to live. It isn't likely that they were taught debauchery, it comes naturally, but they obviously did not have parents to teach them otherwise.

Than, as if on cue, Duck came running in to the washroom.

"Mommy! Daddy said he's going to take all of the girls on a morning trip to town!" referring to herself, her friend HH and HH's little sister).

Duck went on excitedly about Daddy's plan while she used the bathroom, washed her hands and left to get ready for the big 'Daddy date'.

I think at that point I wasn't the only one who felt sad. These girls had said nothing while Duck described her dad with such love and admiration. They kept silent as she gave me a big hug and a we said, 'I love you' to each other. They said nothing after Duck was gone. They packed up and smiled goodbye to me before leaving.

Maybe I'm reading too much into their silence. Likely they will make fun of the whole thing. Hopefully, they will recognize that debauchery is not the only choice in life.

Maybe Duck's natural testimony was put there for them from the Lord. I know Duck was not influenced by them - maybe they were influenced by Duck. Another reason to live out loud - someone is always watching!

Thanksgiving Lilies

2009-10-06T07:45:00.001-04:00

A lovely surprise for the fall. These were the potted Easter Lilies from our church - after they had finished blooming in the spring, I asked my pastor if I could take them home. They are annuals and I knew they would bloom for me next year: However, as I let them sprout up in height, I noticed back in mid-September that they were promising to flower again - if the frost didn't take them out first! Then, just before leaving for camping, one of the blooms opened up. Now several of them have followed suit:

This shot shows how tall the stalks have become - see the tallest stalk has unopen blooms on it, as well. Hopefully they all have a chance to open before the snow flies. I could have freshly cut lilies on my Thanksgiving table! (Canadian Thanksgiving is the second weekend in October)

A Tragic Lesson to Learn

2009-10-05T08:03:00.000-04:00

As I just posted, we have been away on our annual camping trip with friends. Prior to leaving, Duck had to arrange for a 'hamster-sitter' for the week. Taking care of a hamster isn't hard so it was easy finding someone who would take him. The two days before we left (Thursday and Friday), both my husband and I were working the night shift so Duck was sleeping over at a friend's house. Her job on Thursday was to give the hamster cage a thorough cleaning so that the sitter didn't have to worry about it. She completed the task and we all left the house for the night.

About mid-afternoon Friday, as Duck is getting the hamster and his accoutrements ready to be delivered I get this mournful cry from her room "MOM!". Now hamsters only live 1-2 years, and Teddy Bear is over the annual mark. So right away I think she has found his little body without signs of life. Automatically I start rehearsing 'the speech' in my head about life and death. However, when I arrive at her sobbing side and she regains enough control to talk, I find out the hamster is not dead. The hamster is missing. When she had cleaned the cage the day before, she had left a door open.

Keep in mind that we had been out of the house all night. The hamster had the run of the house, along with the dog.

A frantic search began, without a lot of hope. When I could get away without too many questions, I went out to check dog poop. Yes, I checked dog poop. No fur or bones, that was a good sign. The dog was not showing signs of indigestion either. Also a good sign.

After almost an hour of fruitless searching, I sat down with Duck for a hard talk. The hamster was likely gone for good. Even if he was still alive in the house, he was curled up somewhere sleeping at this time of day. Then we talked about the error she had made by leaving the door open. Duck has been in a phase of life lately that has shown a lack of diligence. This situation was bringing that fact out to the forefront. A very hard lesson to learn.

We set out traps for the hamster that night, as we were all out of the house again. A hamster trap is the use of deep pots or buckets with a ramp for the hamster to get into the pot, but not be able to get out - fill the pot with food and a water dish to lure him into the trap.

Saturday morning...no hamster. We were leaving at noon for the camping trip. More tears. Duck was in her room crying out to the Lord (a blessing to hear even during this hard lesson). She wasn't just asking for Him to bring back the hamster, she was asking Him to help her learn greater diligence and gave thanks for having the hamster in the first place. Sigh! If I could have pulled a hamster out of thin air for her at that point, I would have done it. But God knew best.

As we were packing the car, our downstairs neighbour happen to be outside and I mentioned that Duck's hamster may find his way down to his apartment. I wasn't telling him so he could set out traps or anything - there is a dog and a cat in the downstairs apartment. I just wanted him to know where it came from if he did find a body. We did leave the traps out in our place with extra food and water. The final signs of hope for a return.

We left for camping and all the kids from our friend's family were told of the tragedy - and asked not make fun of it. Duck was really hurting when the topic came up. However, as hours and days past, she talked little about it and had fun on her trip.

Nine days later, we arrive home and find empty traps.

'OK, Ducky. It's time to clean up the traps and say goodbye to Teddy Bear for good.' Teary eyes, but no sobbing anymore.

We are still unloading and unpacking when there is a knock at the door. The downstairs neighbour knocks on the door. He smiles as he holds out a large spaghetti pot,

"I thought you would like to try some of the sauce I made this week"

Now, I like my neighbour well enough, but we do not have the kind of relationship where we share recipes. I look in the pot and there is Teddy Bear. Dirty with a funny blue colour to his head fur, but it is Teddy Bear. The neighbour found him the day after we left for camping and had been taking care of him all week. I thanked him profusely! And took the pot.

When Duck looked into the pot, the tears returned. Happy ones this time.

It is a minor miracle that this animal is now back in his cage (and he was happy to be back!). We don't know where the blue colour on his head came from and he has spent several days cleaning himself, but the lesson learned in all this is irreplaceable.

Maybe my emotional side wanted to solve the problem for Duck by just giving back the hamster (I even thought about buying a new one that looked the same and slipping into the traps). But God knew where the hamster was all along and what His plans were for the whole event. Just as scripture talks about His care of the sparrows, He cared for this hamster, too. All for helping a little girl grow in her faith and in her fruits of the Spirit. Duck is actively working on her diligence.

My faith has been increased, too. Nothing like a reminder from God, Himself to trust Him in all things. Even if the hamster had never returned, we would have studied how He takes care of all His creatures. Now we can study it with a Teddy Bear curled up in his little cage.

Camping Days

2009-10-01T00:44:00.014-04:00

We are home for the duration now - it is officially the end of camping season for us. Our annual camping trip was for all last week and we arrived home this past Sunday afternoon. A wonderful time away with friends, even if we did get some rainy days. Note the big blue tarp over our kitchen area:

We did stay pretty dry despite the weather. That is, of course, part of camping! One of the 'big deals' of the week were that Duck and her friend HH got their own tent. Both moms had some qualms about it and I kind of expected to hear "mom!" in the middle of the night, but they slept well and only had one night where dad had to do a security check for the boogie man. The noise turned out to be raccoons having a party behind their tent - note the potty right outside their door:

We did have some beach days during the week - although I find the water frighteningly cold! My husband was game to play with Duck. I have to warn you their is a dirty picture from the beach - I apologize if it offends anyone, it was too good to pass up the shot!:

We also took a couple of day trips. One afternoon we went to my dad's neighbourhood and spent the afternoon at a local farm. They have a petting zoo, corn maze and a whole section of games and playground stuff for kids:

" Hello little fella!"

Here is my husband as king of the castle! The girls worked tirelessly to dethrone him:

Here's real camping treat - garbage can turkey! Obviously we used a new garbage can ;o). It cooked in just under two hours, but I have to say it wasn't as good as oven roasted:

Finally, what's a camping trip without camping hair! My rag-a-muffin girl:

So, now we are home, the laundry is done, school is started and life is getting back to normal. I have some great stories to tell in the next few days, including one about a small miracle in our house. Stay tuned.

For more show and tell, see Mary!

Weirdo

2009-09-23T00:32:00.000-04:00

When it comes to my workplace, I am a bit of an outcast. Not in the sense that I am treated poorly, but I definately do not fit in, either. Grumble sessions about the workplace end quickly when my opinion is sought - me not being much of a union supporter...or much of a grumbler. Man bashing sessions are squashed when I hold my husband out as an example of positive manhood. Like I said, outcast.

Then the other day one of my co-workers noticed the book I just started to read, "What He Must Be...if he wants to marry my daughter" by Voddie Baucham.

"Do you really think you can control your kid like that?"

me: "well, it's more about teaching her to have standards for marriage."

"No way! You can't control who she falls in love with - that's crazy."

I carried on the conversation explaining that if we accept emotional responses to situations as solid reasoning than every pedophile has a reason for what they do - if they claim to be 'in love'. I talked about teaching our kids to make decisions with their brain rather than emotions. The ideals of what marriage is will come from somewhere, whether it is from peers or media based entertainment...neither of which will teach kids logically never mind biblically!

By having both sons and daughters recognize their value in Christ and have non-negotiable standards for future relationships/marriage, then they are alot less likely to end up dealing with teen pregnancy or STDs that haunt them for the rest of their lives; they are alot less likely to give themselves away to the first person who pays any romantic attention to them; alot less likely to feel like being single is a failure and settle for less than God's BEST.

At which point in the conversation I realize my co-workers are staring blankly at me and you can hear the sound of crickets in the room - no doubt they are thinking, 'weirdo'.

Still...I'm OK with that. After all, we are called to be peculiar people for God! ;o)

Love This

2009-09-21T07:48:00.000-04:00

A great saying:

A woman should be so lost in serving God that a man must seek Him to find her.

I'd say that applies to those who are single and married!

Prime Time Church

2009-09-19T07:49:00.000-04:00

Did you know that Oprah has her own church? As I understand it, She was listening to a sermon one day and the pastor was talking about God being a 'jealous God' (Exodus 20:5). Oprah apparently didn't like this description and blamed it on the religion's interpretation. Like so many people over the ages, the one true God didn't fit into her ideals and opinions of what is right.

So she started her own church - because her god is a god of love. Her god is accepting and tolerant of different people's lifestyle choices. Her god is not God.

When God describes Himself as jealous, it is not negative. In fact, He is talking about the very basis of the first two commandments:

Thou shalt have no other gods before me. Exodus 20:3

Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image. Exodus 20:4a

God doesn't approve of His children turning our hearts away from Him to anything else. It isn't hard for our small minds to grasp this aspect of God. Let's consider it in temporal terms.

Oprah has alot of dogs, she is an animal lover. One time when she arrives to her country home, she find that the next door neighbour has left a note stating that the fence between their properties has a hole in it and the dogs have been coming over to her property everyday. Oprah apologizes and promises to repair the fence ASAP - but wait, the neighbour likes the dogs and says there is no need to hurry with the repair. The neighbour has made a habit of feeding the dogs treats and encourages them to visit. The dogs are at the neighbour's house everyday, most of the day and Oprah has to go to get them. They no longer return home on their own and the treats that the neighbour is feeding them are giving them foul gas and causing some vomiting. Oprah asks the neighbour to stop feeding them and the neighbour just smiles and says 'it is only a little treat, they like it'. Oprah get the fence repaired, but finds it knocked down again and the dos over at the neighbour's house. The vet bills are piling up and the repairs on the fence are weekly. Worst yet, the dogs seem to prefer the neighbour over her. There may be room for several emotions in this situation but jealousy is likely one of them. Those are HER dogs.

We, as God's children are not unlike those dogs. Easily enticed to wander from our home (the path of righteousness); attracted to things or people that are not good for us; sinfully and selfishly seeking out other gods to serve and be served by. Of course the Lord is a jealous God. We are HIS children.

Obviously in an understanding of God's sovereignty, I believe that those who are entice away permanently through vain doctrines are like waves upon the sea (tossed to and fro Ephesians 4:14). They were never really part of the kingdom in the first place.

The key for those of us who are truly His children is to constantly be wary of anything that is taking us away from God. Satan is very good at this tactic - we need to listen to the Spirit and wrap ourselves in the Word. Otherwise, we could end up joining the church of Oprah.

For men shall be lovers of their own selves, covetous, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy,

Without natural affection, trucebreakers, false accusers, incontinent, fierce, despisers of those that are good,

Traitors, heady, highminded, lovers of pleasures more than lovers of God;

Having a form of godliness, but denying the power thereof: from such turn away.

For of this sort are they which creep into houses, and lead captive silly women laden with sins, led away with divers lusts,

Ever learning, and never able to come to the knowledge of the truth.

2 Timothy 3:2 - 7 (emphasis mine)

Here We Go Again

2009-09-16T08:34:00.000-04:00

Technology is a wonderful thing...when it works. When it doesn't work it is the most frustrating thing!

My computer has again decided to crash at intermittent points of usage. I can be right in the middle of a brilliant post and it dies before I save - then I wonder if there is an appropriate time to swear...not really :o)

So, for the few of you who do read my thoughts and opinions...please hang in there. I'm at the mercy of computer repair guys.

Where Socialism Leads

2009-09-14T20:41:00.001-04:00

The following excerpts are from an article in our local paper - this author is actually syndicated, so you may have already seen this piece. This type of information always makes me shake my head, but there are those among our population that will read it and take it completely seriously. Why? Only because someone who is 'educated' spouted these gems:

'I have a report before me from the University of North Carolina warning about a kiddies' minefield that your offspring may be playing in right now.

Yes, I am talking about "the beach." Did you know that beach goers who innocently build sandcastles or fill pails with beach sand are 13 per cent more likely to suffer a stomach ailment - and 20 per cent more likely to get diarrhea?

Are you one of those sun idolaters who mindlessly let their kids bury each other up to their nostrils in sand? Loser. The study says your kids have 24 per cent better chance of suffering gastrointestinal distress than that sensible family in their Sunday church clothes whose feet never leave the boardwalk. Meanwhile, your kids might as well be playing Russian roulette with a Glock nine mil.

As Chris Heaney, the study's lead author, so wisely warns us: "the beach is not a sterile environment." Who knew?

It's not just the beach, of course. Kiddy traps lurk everywhere, just waiting to snare the unwary. That's why school kids in Chicago recently got to sit through a 20 minute lecture on the dangers of the hula hoop. Meanwhile, an elementary school in Attleboro, Massachusetts has prudently banned the game of tag on school grounds because, as the principal points out, "accidents can happen."

He's right - and they can happen anywhere. That's why it's now possible to buy lid locks for your toilet seats (what if little Ashton or Kimberly fell in and drowned?). There is also a market for tiny gloves and mini-kneepads specifically designed to protect your wee ones during their first crawling experience across the perilous, hazard-strewn, bacteria-ridden war zone also known as the living room floor.

Just nutty Americans, you think? Think again. Last month the chief medical officer for the Vancouver Island Health Authority went public about the dangers of...

Roasting marshmallows.

Dr. Richard Stanwick counsels that children sitting around a campfire should:
- apply hand sanitizer before selecting a marshmallow;
- sterilize their roasting twig before impaling marshmallow thereon;
- use clean tissue to carefully remove carbon from twig;
- put clean marshmallow on clean stick with clean hand and proceed.

Hold it! The doctor's not finished! He also warns to be wary of ingesting molten marshmallows.

"If there's a flame coming out of it, it's probably too hot", he says.

Ya think, doc?"

The author of the news article, Arthur Black, is generally a tongue-in-cheek kind of guy. That's why I enjoy reading him.

How does socialism play into all this foolishness. For starters, these studies were paid for with government money - our tax money. Also, as I pointed out in the beginning, there are people who take this stuff seriously. People who believe that the good 'doctors', or anyone with a piece of paper declaring them to be 'educated', know more about parenting than parents.

Someone, somewhere will read these studies (and others like them) and then criticize a parent for taking their kids to the beach without wrapping them up sterile scuba suits and surgical masks. Someone, somewhere will be treated like an ignorant or dangerous parent because the recommendations of these studies are not implemented into their child-rearing tactics as if it is gospel.

Take note - worldly wisdom may sound completely ludicrous, but someone is listening. Maybe we, who have the benefit of Godly wisdom, need to start speaking louder.

Going to the Zoo, Zoo, Zoo

2009-09-10T23:27:00.011-04:00

We took our homeschooling field trip at the beginning of September. There were four families that joined the fun - although trying to get everyone to look at the camera at the same time was lost cause. "Hey, move over!" "You're touching my shoe!" "Look at that bug!":The first display we visited was the stingray and shark pool. Way cool! The stingrays swim by and you can touch them...check out the 3year old reaction:The older kids were just as amazed - that includes me, too! They were velvety to touch and very playful. We have a home video that shows how they would swim close to the crowd and then send a big splash over the edge:The sharks, however, were not as friendly. They stayed in the middle of the pool far away from pawing hands. The speaker told us they like to be near the water fall because they don't even like to hear us! In fact, the only reason they move closer to people is to have a pee ( I swear that's what he said):This was the most enjoyed display - underwater view of the polar bears. We were there right after lunch so the bears were very active. They would swim right up to the window to get a good look at us, too:

This raccoon was doing what all the adults were ready to do by mid-afternoon! Does that look like a great nap, or what?:

I love the zoo...it is a full day of admiring God's creation through the creatures. After walking all day in a fairly warm sun for September, the kids were all wiped out and sleeping on the long drive home, too.

Homeschooling is great! For more show and tell, go to Mary's site.

On the Way to Grandparents' House

2009-09-10T23:22:00.004-04:00

I really have been busy during the last month and it has kept me from even posting some pictures to show off. So let me start by showing off some pictures of a recent trip to my dad's house. Actually, these pictures show the farm where we stopped on the way. The farm sells produce, of course, but they also have a section of kid's activities that is great fun. We had Duck's BFF with us.

There was tricycle race track. Take note ladies, if you sit on a small vehicle it just makes you look big:

Here's my husband joining in the fun. The little house had a loft with a slide:Here's what happens the next day when two little ladies have had a good time - even though they were determined to be up before everyone else!:

This week is the Fall Fair in our area, so Duck and I are sewing and knitting and baking up a storm! I'll have some pictures to share next week - God willing I have time!

Losing It

2009-09-07T16:30:00.009-04:00

During my fifteen+ years nursing, ninety percent of my clients have fit into the demented realm. Not all nurses like to work with seniors suffering from varying degrees of dementia, but it is a preferred area of service for me - I feel like I fit in well. Not to make light of the seriousness of the disease process, it can be devastating for family members to watch their parents or other loved ones go through the changes - BUT, the senior generally does not suffer the same way. Alot of the time, the senior is quite content in a state of confusion - we use that statement in documentation, 'pleasantly confused'.

I have often told my husband that I planned on having dementia by the time I was 40years old. Well...that benchmark passed by a couple of weeks back and I'm starting to see the signs. So is my family - and I thought I was just joking!

For years I warned him that he would need to keep track of my activities for me - in case I got lost, or forgot what I was supposed to be doing. We would smile at our little joke. Well, no joke. Lately I keep losing my train of thought, not to mention pretty much any article that was in my hand a minute ago! Most definately pleasantly confused. I just wrote it off to being on summer vacation and not having a regular routine - it would be fine as soon as school started again.

Then, several weeks ago...I lost a twenty dollar bill (TWENTY DOLLARS!). I spent hours freaking out about it - days, really. For someone like me who is so cheap about spending money, losing it was horrible! (BTW, I still haven't actually confessed this to my husband - he'll read it for the first time right here)

I do know how it happened. The bill (TWENTY DOLLARS!)was in my hand while I was driving - because I was going to the store to use it. I got into the store and realized it was not in my hand anymore (did I mention it was TWENTY DOLLLARS!). I tried to give it over to the Lord. I prayed, "OK, Lord. It's your money anyway so you must have plans for it. Right?"

Over and over again I told myself that it really was God's money - as I frantically searched the car and my pockets for the bill (TWENTY DOLLARS!). Finally, I had to admit that it was gone for good. This is where I would like to say I took hold of peace about it. Nope.

I fretted inside my head constantly after that day. Every time the price of something was close to twenty dollars it would remind me of my dementia moment (TWENTY DOLLARS!). Then the Lord hammered my head with the very fact that I had been trying to grasp all along - He was in charge of the money. How did He show me? Read on...

On one of our camping trips we intended on visiting the Canadian Canoe Museum. It was the only planned stop in-town for this particular trip. We arrived and the admission price list was laughing at me with a family rate of, you guessed it, twenty dollars. The doubts and self-centred thoughts were raging in my head again. We entered the museum and the hostess at the door came over and whispered to us:

"We have a guest speaker here right now for the Liberal Party of Canada, so the you can't enter one part of the museum right now. Don't worry, you can still come in - but admission is free because of the speaker."

There was the twenty dollars back into our family funds. Just like that. I could have laughed out loud at the wonderful grace He was showing me. It was grace simply because He didn't have to show me - it is all His money. I mean, really, I'm not even a Liberal!

So there you have it. Maybe I am entering into dementia or maybe this was another way for God to show me who is in control of everything - even a twenty dollar bill. Sooner or later I hope to learn this lesson for good!

A Neat Idea!

2009-09-04T21:21:00.002-04:00

Have you missed me? Just kidding...we've came home from another camping trip last week and a homeschool field trip to the zoo this week, plus all the canning and freezing I have been doing the last two days - PHEW! I have finally finished unpacking and doing laundry and dishes and organizing! I haven't downloaded my pictures from the camp or the zoo yet (I'll save them for next week), but because I have been absent I thought to show about a great party favour - think back -to - school party! I can't take credit for it, but it is a really neat idea found at a recent 5 yo birthday party. Candy Sushi!

It is so simple, it's brilliant! A fruit roll-up filled with Nerds candy and a Mike and Ike jelly bean in the middle to help roll it all up.

Yes...it is total sugar and I wouldn't let my Duck eat more than two - however, I took this one home to take the pictures. You'll have to guess who got to eat it! Although, I imagine my dentist will be able to tell ;o)

Living on the Outside

2009-08-28T22:40:00.003-04:00

"It takes a village to raise a child" African proverb

Has anyone taken a good look at the global village lately? Why would anyone want that village raising their children?

I was affronted with the "if you homeschool, do you socialize your daughter" question today. It never ceases to amaze me that people can, with apparent sincerity, believe that homeschooling will negatively affect a child's socialization. My general response to the question is to ask another question:

"What do you mean by socialization? If you mean shaping my daughter to be the same as everyone else - then, no...I do not socialize my daughter."

These people have been so completely duped that the African quote is like gospel to them. I look at the global village and see the kids who are socialized by the system are ill-mannered, foul mouthed and (most obviously) self-serving.

The global village believes and teaches that we must tolerate everyone (although Christianity seems to be excluded from that rule alot).

The global village believes and teaches that equality means no one has true authority.

The global village believes and teaches that children are better off in the hands of 'professional' child care all day from the earliest age possible.

The global village believes and teaches that rebellion is normal and should be expected without exception. It should be understood as a learning experience for all parties.

It takes a village to raise a child? No, it doesn't. It takes parents - good, God fearing, humble parents.

How to Hate a Calvinist

2009-08-27T08:36:00.000-04:00

I have to admit, that for the longest time I did not know what 'Calvinist' meant. The closest thing to the term for me was a cartoon character, Calvin & Hobbs, which I always loved to read - so was I a Calvinist? However, the term was used in several church circles when I was a new Christian - these people didn't strike me as cartoon people. When they used the term it was generally being negative - sort of like spitting. Eventually, I started asking questions. The answers were pretty vague and used word like 'heresy' and 'zealots'. A summary of a conversation went like this:

"Well, the Calvinist doctrine states some very dangerous theology."

Me: "Like what?"

"A big one is total depravity of man. They believe we cannot choose (big emphasis on this word - stretch out the oooo) to receive salvation."

Me: "Oh, but you don't believe that?"

"NO (raise voice here), God gives everyone the opportunity to be saved. Then we can cho(oooo)ose to receive salvation or not."

Me: "Why would anyone choose not to receive salvation?"

"I don't know, but the point is we are given the choice - we're not robots being programmed by God."

There seemed to be great vehemence for this doctrine, but very little discussion as to why it was wrong. It was just wrong. Anyone who followed it was ignorant, arrogant or abhorrent.

Well...I've never been much of a bandwagon person. In anything from fashion and trends right through to my growing faith, the bandwagon wasn't an attractive place for me. Quite frankly, anything that is presented by people as THE only way brings instant suspicion to my mind.

Why is this doctrine wrong? Where in scripture is it outlined as heresy? Where did the doctrine come from? Who is John Calvin? Does he know Hobbs?

The more questions that I asked the more it became that obvious I would have to find out on my own (actually, I am blessed with a husband who avoids the bandwagon, as well, and had just as many questions). I looked at both sides of the debate. Turns out the Doctrines of Grace, a.k.a. the 5 points of Calvinism, make for enlightening reading. Calvin, himself comes across as a no-nonsense type of fellow. He doesn't pad the truth to make it soft. I liked it. I understood it. It opened up a greater relationship with the Lord.

Yes, I am a Calvinist. However, I don't generally introduce myself this way. My church does not have a banner over the entrance that says 'Armenianists stink!'. But, there is no denying that the Doctrines of Grace have lead me to serve the Lord in ways I never did before, because I understand and am humbled by the love Lord has shown me.

I know I was blind and He gave me sight: And I will bring the blind by a way that they knew not; I will lead them in paths that they have not known: I will make darkness light before them, and crooked things straight. These things will I do unto them, and not forsake them. Isaiah 42:16 (emphasis mine)

I know I was dead and He gave me life: And you hath he quickened, who were dead in trespasses and sins. Ephesians 2:1 (emphasis mine)
Even when we were dead in sins, hath quickened us together with Christ, (by grace ye are saved;) Ephesians 2:5 (emphasis mine)

I know I was not capable of choosing righteousness while happily wallowing in my sin. Moreover whom he did predestinate, them he also called: and whom he called, them he also justified: and whom he justified, them he also glorified. Romans 8:30

I know He had to drag me kicking and screaming from the life I lived for me, to a life for His Son to live through me. Thou wilt say then unto me, Why doth he yet find fault? For who hath resisted his will? Nay but, O man, who art thou that repliest against God? Shall the thing formed say to him that formed it, Why has thou made me thus? Hath not the potter power over the clay, of the same lump to make one vessel unto honour, and another unto dishonour? Romans 9:19-21

My husband has an analogy for the term 'receiving' salvation - if we receive a beating, it isn't something we ask for! However, we have received it nonetheless. Our salvation is completed in the same manner - against our sinful desires.

Does that make me a heretical zealot who lives as a robot under God? I can live with that. For eternity.

How do you hate a Calvinist? Jump on the bandwagon, you'll have lots of company!

Now I beseech you, brethren, mark them which cause divisions and offences contrary to the doctrine which ye have learned; and avoid them. For they that are such serve not our Lord Jesus Christ, but their own belly; and by good words and fair speeches deceive the hearts of the simple. Romans 16:17&18

Staying Out of His Way

2009-08-22T08:01:00.001-04:00

It isn't easy being a woman.

There was a time when that meant alot of wordly issues to me. Raised by a feminist, I believed that I, as a woman, would never be given a fair chance. That I would have to work twice as hard, and achieve twice as much to be given half the 'success' that my male counterparts would experience. To say that I bought into it hook, line and sinker would be an exaggeration; but, I believed that I alone would have to make things happen for a happy, successful life. What I gleaned from the feminist mantra was that I could trust no one, depend on no one and expect nothing from those around me. I - was - it. Hence the makings of a control freak.

Even after I was saved, my need for control was immense. This is not to say I didn't confess a recognition of God as soveriegn - I just wanted to keep that soveriegnty in a little box. Even my husband suffered through the times when I 'knew' I was right and everybody else was wrong. For instance if my husband was working outside of God's will, I took the opportunity to teach him my opinion(how many times have I seen other women doing the same thing with their husbands!). We, as women, need to learn to get out of God's way to see His power in our lives. After many years, I think I finally get it. John the Baptist helped me with this little tidbit:

He must increase, and I must decrease. John 3:30

So the wisdom I follow now is much, much different - but it is still a struggle for me to ignore my old teachings. Although I am not a biblical scholar by any stretch of the imagination, my Lord is patiently showing me truth.

And be found in him, not having mine own righteousness, which is of the law, but that which is through the faith of Christ, the righteousness of God by faith; Philippians 3:9

How can I claim any kind of growth in my faith by trying to do it myself. My faith came from God and only He can cause it to grow - if I get out of the way and watch Him work!

That ye put off concerning the former conversation the old man, which is corrupt according to the deceitful lusts; And be renewed in the spirit of your mind; and that ye put on the new man, which after God is created in righteousness and true holiness. Ephesian 4:22-24

I picture this in simple terms. When Christ came into my heart, he only needed to have a crack in the door to enter. As I grow in my faith and understanding of how to give Him my 'all', I need to throw open the door and step out of the way. If anyone around me is outside of God's will, I can encourage them to turn back, I can even lead by example if it is a peer, but I can't change them. Trust me, nagging and manipulating may get the outcome we as women desire, but it doesn't lead anyone to the Lord. I have learned that the best way to allow God to do the work, is to shut my mouth and concentrate on my own walk of faith. Try it, I recommend this technique highly! The results are nothing short of miraculous.

I CAN'T DO ANYTHING RIGHTEOUS IN GOD'S EYES, but Christ can through me - through any Christian. All we need to do is stay out of his way.

Did I Tell You The One About the Gorilla?

2009-08-20T08:33:00.000-04:00

My husband and I were hosting Duck and two of her friends to a day at the Metro Zoo. One of the main attractions for the girls was the primate families - monkeys, orangutans, gorillas. I really like to watch them, too, with the way they interact in their enclosures. It really is like watching a family.

We reached to gorilla's outdoor enclosure just at lunchtime - for them and for us. So we decided to watch the action of their meal before digging into our picnic basket. What a show we got!

The authority of the dominant male was unmistakable because only he was allowed to eat - all the other gorillas, teenagers and one mama with baby, were sitting around the perimeter of the enclosure while the king gorged himself on the delivered food. There was some dissension in the ranks as one teenager (probably male) snuck a handful of celery and headed to the highest perch to eat as discreetly as he could. Otherwise, everyone seemed to know that there was no eating until the king was finished.

It wasn't any wonder why he was the king. He outweighed every other gorilla in that enclosure by several hundred pounds. He was the king of the castle and all the men standing around were making comments about it and elbowing their wives about how everything seemed to be in order with this system.

In the mean time, the zoo attendants were on the far side of the enclosure with some type of branches that must be a tasty treat because they were trying to entice the mama and her baby to eat some. The king took great exception to their attempts to override his authority and took a running leap at one of the staff - she was completely protected behind the fence line, but still fell back on her behind in shock and fear of this 500lb+ animal charging her. The whole enclosure shook from his body weight slamming against it in attempt to get at the staff. As a final note he grabbed the branch as his treat and headed back to the center of the feeding area - quite pleased with his performance. All the human watchers were duly impressed with his kingship.

After only a few moments the staff were again pushing branches through and mama had been inching her way over - always on the perimeter. When she and her baby reached the branches, she nonchalantly reached and pulled the branch to her with little to no notice by the king. The baby had one taste of the leaves on the branch and lost all sense of fear for the king - he jumped from mama's belly to the fence and actively began eating.

Well, the king may have been willing to ignore the actions of his wife (mama), because she knew enough to be discreet. However, the outward defiance of a the baby eating before permission was given was too much for him. In seconds of mama reaching for the baby to pull him away from the fence, the king was snorting and rampaging toward them just as he had done to the staff member - only there was no fence to stop this attack.

Every parent standing around the enclosure with us had the same thought at the same time, 'this gorilla is going to hurt or kill the baby - we've got to get our kids away from the view!'. My husband and I were making our way to step in front of the girls as other parents were corralling their kids to move away from what looked to become a gruesome scene. Then we all heard it. The baby let out a horrified screamed that raised the hair on my neck - this was it!

Then another strange sound rose from the midst of the snorting aggression of the king and crying hopelessness of the baby. Anger. Deep, maternal, anger. Turning to look, everyone focused on was the sudden change in events within the enclosure. Mama had heard her babies cries. Mama wasn't happy!

The king was running for his life! Mama, with baby attached again to her furry belly, was inches behind the king with a murderous look on her face. The king knew he wouldn't live to reign another day if he stopped. The teenagers in the enclosure were whooping it up - literally, laughing and chattering and swinging with delight to see the king getting a strip tore off of him.

And as quickly as it started, it was over. The king sitting in a corner now, sulking, and all the other gorillas eating with gaiety! Every man in the audience felt sorry for the big fella - every woman was laughing at the calamity.

It was funny!

However, I couldn't help but think how this could easily be transferred into North American homes. The husbands, who now cower in their lazyboy chairs because mama ain't happy!

I know we're talking about gorillas. I also know that any feminist watching the same scene that day would have said, 'See, it's natural for women to seek authority in the family. It's obvious men can be brutish when given the opportunity.'

All I have to say is, those were gorillas. We are God's children. Never should those two be placed in the same category! Never do I want to be compared to gorilla mama who was teaching her child to disobey, even discreetly. Never do I want my husband to feel it is easier, and safer, to simply let me be the head of the house.

Lord, let me never forget that!

Stay Tuned

2009-08-19T10:24:00.004-04:00

Just like everyone else, I am wrapped up in summer activities right now. Actually, our summer events go right into September for camping trips. BUT...hang in there with me! I have alot of good posts bouncing around in my head - at least they sound good to me ;o)

Choosing the Best, part 3

2009-08-13T23:03:00.000-04:00

Picking back up on the series of 'what if' questions that always seem to come up when the topic turns to women staying at home to be full time wives and mothers. We started here by looking at the idea of daughters being raised to see this choice as God's BEST. Now, we have moved into to talking about women who are already married and making decisions about staying at home:

Fourth question...what if the debt load is too high for one income? Well, that didn't happen by accident, did it? Absolutely take responsibility for debt that has been incurred in past times - but changing to a frugal lifestyle will show a walk toward God's BEST for the family. Our family is in this situation right now. I work part time as a nurse to pay off the debt that my husband and I incurred in the first part of our marriage. Keep in mind that my previous full time income was almost twice what my husband makes working full time now. But, since making the decision to seek God's BEST for our family, we have paid more than $28,000 off (some of it was simply removed by the grace of God!) in only 5 years! With just $14,000 left to go, my work time outside of the home is lessening every year. God has been gracious in this area by giving my husband a job that is flexible for scheduling and giving me a job that I can pick and choose my shifts. These two things make sure that homeschool is not affected and that one of us is home with Duck at all times - no need for babysitters. Blessings always follow when we seek out God's BEST for our lives. Why should we believe the blessings will come?

If any man thirst, let him come unto me, and drink. He that believeth on me, as the scripture hath said, out of his belly shall flow rivers of living water.

John 7:37b & 38 (emphasis mine)

Last question...what if a woman is in an abusive situation? Get out. Take the kids and get out. God's authority structure does not include abuse of any kind. However, seek your heart for the truth first. Physical abuse is an obvious reason to leave, but emotional and verbal abuse are slippery ones. There are times that I have been guilty of emotionally and verbally abusing my husband! Sometimes, as wives, we must suffer under the persecution of our husbands who have yet to follow God's BEST for their role in the marriage. By challenging ourselves as wives to be a biblical woman, God can change your husband.

Wherefore take unto you the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all to stand. Ephesians 6:13 (emphasis mine)

There are probably several more 'what if' questions that come up when discussing a woman's decision to stay at home, whether married or single. The ones that I did bring up in this series are the ones that come up most frequently among my community of friends and acquaintances and strangers. I do know that the decision to be wives and mothers at home, to make that a plan for the future when still single, has to be a conviction with solid biblical grounding. A woman without the conviction will find it is only a matter of time before the 'what if' arguments break down any shallow decisions and home life will never be good enough for her.

Just today as I was looking for a way to wrap up this series, Duck and I were picking wild raspberries. We were hindered by bees, thorns, heat and thick brush. All these hindrances were a perfect example of what living lives as women of conviction is like - there will always be something or someone that is intent on pushing us away from following the BEST path that God has for us. However, perseverance, patience and trust in God will always end in blessing - in this case by working past the bees, thorns, heat and thick brush we filled a basket full of raspberries!

So let me repeat my conviction from the first installment on this series - God's BEST path for every woman is to be a wife and mother. Period. Spare me the 'what if' arguments and show me the scripture!

Adding to Family Adventure

2009-08-06T10:28:00.006-04:00

This post will give a brief break in the "what if" series, but the third installment is almost done. I didn't want to miss a Show and Tell!

Well, we have been searching for quite awhile to find the best canoe for our family and just found this beautiful vessel on Monday past. After trying out multiple canoes, we purchased this Clipper Tripper for an excellent price: In our part of the country the Swift Canoe is the most well known and is recommended highly by anyone who has used one. We did try out the Swift brand, and we did like it, but the price of that line of canoes was a little high ($2500+). This brand, Clipper, is mostly associated with Mary's end of the country - British Columbia. We found it at a local canoe store after someone had traded it in for a purchase. It was the perfect size and handles great in the water:

These are all pictures that were taken when we were just doing a test paddle. It is unlikely that we will have another set of pictures with all three of us in the vessel again - one of us is always holding the camera! So far, I can highly recommend the Clipper to anyone who is looking.

Our family adventures for the rest of the summer and into fall will almost always include this new addition! Here are some of the names we have come with for our new vessel:

- wun*hoo*toots (family humour!)

- family ARK (that holds all of our initials)

- the northern rikibee (also a mix of our names, although we figured we would tell people that it was a native word for wun*hoo*toots!)

- a full, rich day

Any other suggestions!
For more Show and Tell, go visit Mary!

Choosing the Best, part 2

2009-08-06T08:02:00.003-04:00

The first part of this discussion can be read here.

We're continuing to look at the 'what if' questions that always seem to come up when the topic turns to women staying at home to be full time wives and mothers. First we are covering the idea of daughters being raised to see this choice as God's BEST:

Second question...what if the girl never finds a spouse that meets her standards for marriage and stays single? Oh, boy...has this been on my mind! There are very few choices available at this point in time for the young, single women that I know. However, dropping scriptural standards just for the sake of being married is not God's BEST. A woman who remains single should still be prepared for marriage and children - we can never know when God will send the husband He has prepared for her. If a husband is never found, a woman's life can still be full by working with other woman and helping in their families; by serving in great ways within a church structure; by standing firmly on her conviction of purity as a testimony to her trust in God. Yes, it would be hard. Yes, it would be worth it! James knew it:

My brethren, count it all joy when ye fall into divers temptations; Knowing this, that the trying of your faith worketh patience. But let patience have her perfect work, that ye may be perfect and entire, wanting nothing.

James 1:2-4 (emphasis mine)

And when it gets really hard to keep focused on serving others (your own family, church families or God, himself) meditate on Psalm 37:

Trust in the Lord, and do good; so shalt thou dwell in the land, and verily thou shalt be fed.

Delight thyself also in the Lord; and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart.

Commit thy way unto the Lord; trust also in him; and he shall bring it to pass.

And he shall bring forth thy righteousness as the light, and thy judgment as the noonday.

Rest in the Lord, and wait patiently for him:

Psalm 37:3-7a (emphasis mine)

Lets move into the questions about those of us who are already wives and SAHMs. This next one seems to me to be a short answer:

Third question...what if a SAHM and wife were to become a widow at a young age? So be it. Nothing (NOTHING) happens in this life that is not allowed to happen by the Lord. The possibility that a husband dies early is not something on which to base decisions. Trust God, for He wants what is BEST for you! Churches, as a whole, are commanded to take care of the widows and orphans within their congregations. All the more reason to seek out a local church to build into your family!

For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the Lord.

For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts.

Isaiah 55:8&9

The key to this question is recognizing that God would not have us live with any fear of the future - leave those plans to Him and simply live for His BEST.

...to be continued...

Choosing the Best

2009-08-03T00:40:00.005-04:00

I always enjoy reading blog posts and comment threads for the purpose of challenging my own thinking. When I read other people's thoughts (whether they match mine or not) it can give me cause to study scripture to ensure my convictions are on solid ground. Generally, I end up posting on the same topics, but use my blog to give extensive answers to questions or challenges that were posed somewhere else in blogland. This particular post kept growing in size, so I have split it into three parts (so far!). I hope everyone will chime in with their thoughts:

There is no doubt that the secular worldview is that every family should be a two income family. If a woman is not working and building her career there must be something wrong with her - she's lazy - or she's being held back by her husband and children, etc. In the end, the current culture believes a woman who is a housewife and stay-at-home-mom is missing out on her full potential. Sometimes the christian realm isn't much different when weighing in on this topic. The questions about women staying at home, or daughters being raised with this future plan, almost always turns to the 'what if'.

What if...
- your daughter never marries,
- your husband were to pass away,
- that woman really is in an abusive situation,
- that young girl wants to go to college and have a career,
- the family has a debt load greater than the husband's salary?

God's BEST path for every woman is to be a wife and mother. Period.

This isn't something that is repressive or subjugating. It is a freeing and edifying role. Let me tell you why I believe this:

Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: And he is the saviour of the body.
Ephesians 5:22&23 (emphasis mine)

Obeying God is never wrong and never degrading. He built this relationship into marriage as a protection for women. We are first under the protection of our fathers, then that responsibility is passed onto our husbands.

First question...what if the father is not a strong christian(or not a christian at all) who will take the responsibility to heart? This happens - we live in a sinful world and there are no guarantees that those around us will follow God's BEST. The key for young girls in this situation is to honour their earthly father without dishonouring our heavenly Father. If 'dad' says his daughter could or should date (or most often heard, doesn't care!), the daughter needs to purpose in her heart to seek God's BEST for this area of her life. Dating is 'normal' and easy and even fun - but it is not God's BEST for a single girl. If 'dad' does not actively support following a courtship model to marriage, there will likely be a pastor who can counsel the young girl during her single years. Regardless, young women cannot use those around them as an excuse to ignore God's BEST.

But Daniel purposed in his heart that he would not defile himself with the portion of the king's meat, nor with the wine which he drank: Daniel 1:8 (emphasis mine)

Daniel was a young man and alone in a strange land. He could have joined the crowd and defiled himself to please his captor - and used the excuse that he was alone. He had no support for any 'old' beliefs. Instead, he stood firm on convictions for his relationship with God and chose to follow the BEST path that God had for him. Taking the stance that 'it is just too hard' to seek God's BEST in the area of purity during single life is a telling sign about the anyone who speaks these words. The key to this 'what if' questions is this - what has been purposed in the heart? Anything?

...to be continued...

The Coolest Thing Ever!

2009-07-30T15:48:00.001-04:00

Cool...way cool...the coolest thing I have ever made! AND it's a great homeschool science project - even cooler!

Flubber
3/4 cups warm water
1 cup Elmers glue
food colour of choice
***
2 tsp. borax (cleaning product)
1/2 cup warm water

In first bowl, mix top three ingredients. In a second bowl, mix last two ingredients
Make sure both bowls are well mixed.
Pour bowl one into bowl two.
No need to stir, just reach in a pull out the glob of flubber.
The consistency improves by 'kneading' the glob for a few minutes.
Lasts way longer than playdough...and, if I didn't mention it yet - it's way cooler!

For more great show and tell stuff, go over and visit Mary's place.

Zippy Corn Chowder

2009-07-28T20:04:00.003-04:00

I've been working out a new menu plan for this coming and have decided to make a 'soup day' once per week. This is the newest soup recipe that has been appreciated by my clan. I hope you enjoy it! Don't worry...it's not that spicy with the cream base.

ZIPPY CORN CHOWDER
1 medium onion, chopped
1 medium green pepper, chopped
2 tbsp. margarine
1 can chicken broth
2 large potatoes, cubed
1 jalapeno pepper, chopped
2 tsp. dijon mustard
1 tsp. salt
1/2 tsp. paprika
1/4 - 1/2 tsp. crushed red pepper flakes
3 cups corn
4 green onions, chopped
3 cups milk, divided
1/4 cup flour
- saute onion and green pepper in margarine until tender
- add broth and potatoes; bring to boil and then simmer until potatoes tender
- add jalapeno, mustard, salt, paprika and pepper flakes; blend well
- add corn, green onions, and 2 1/2 cups milk
- make a roux with remaining milk and flour and add to soup; bring to boil and stir while cooking until thickened and bubbly

The Perfect Marriage

2009-07-27T11:03:00.007-04:00

Recently, I have enjoyed reading some posts about building up our marriages. Of course, from a wife's perspective it is mostly about how to build up our husbands. These types of conversations have occurred among ladies' groups many times, both face-to-face and online. Without fail, at least one woman will claim martyrdom in her marriage. She will claim that she works hard at her marriage and prays unceasingly for her husband, but that God is not listening to her prayers; that nothing she has ever done has affected a long-lasting positive change in her lazy, unloving or real jerk of a husband. She will then claim that most wives don't understand her situation because they must be married to men who hold up their end of the biblical marriage.

What a load of manure!

(Now God has been showing me to hold my sarcasm and derogatory tones to myself, but this is one area that really tests my resolve to use 'soft answers'. Today as I write, some of my disdain for these 'martyrs' may leak out - for that, I apologize)

Most of the time I just stare blankly at these women while they attempt to convince me that God's plan is not working in their marriage. Generally they end up telling me (and other wives) that we likely can't understand their situation because of our perfect marriages.

Could someone please hand me a shovel, it's time to remove a few layers of crap and share some truth.

There was nothing perfect about my husband and I when we married - there's nothing perfect now. There have been countless times when one or both of us has openly refused to yield to God's plan for our marriage and we have paid the price for it with hurt feelings and lost time as "heirs together in the grace of life". Since this is my blog, I'll share an example of when my husband was being a complete jerk - I'll share a jerk story about me some other time ;o)
This occasion occurred when I was thoroughly examining my role as a wife. The Lord was showing me that my attempts to persuade or manipulate changes in my husband were futile - that only He could change him, if it were His will. We had been through a particularly nasty set of arguments over several weeks, so I put my hands up and said, "OK, God. I'll give him over to you and concentrate on how I should be acting."

And, I did. And it got worse - or at least, it felt like it was worse because I had to bite my tongue each time I believed my husband was baiting me or insulting me. Looking back, of course, I know Satan was giving me every opportunity to ignore God's advice - he never wants God's people to succeed and grow!

One particularly bad day I came home from work (still working full time) and my husband had been home with Duck all day. The house was a royal mess. I had had a long day at work. Not exactly a situation that made me want to love and honour my husband! But I determined to follow my deal with God. I smiled and made supper. Helped Duck to bed. Headed for the kitchen to clean. My husband headed to the couch and TV. Grrrr!

THEN, as I was elbow deep in the second load of dishes, my husband wanders into the kitchen, pours himself a pop and on the way out of the room tosses this comment over his shoulder.
"Dog needs water."

There are only a few time in my life where I have been angry enough to do physical damage. This was one.

I held onto the sink so hard my knuckles were white. God, Himself must have been holding my feet, because my husband is still alive today. Through gritted teeth (not exactly a submissive spirit) I prayed. For both of us. And God was gracious to give me peace about the situation. Again, I determined to work on my role as wife and leave my husband to God. I finished the kitchen and joined him to watch the news.

The little battles within myself continued but I did see glimpses of change in my marriage. Any positive events were held in my heart like gold! These golden moments were a treasure but they left me unconvinced that there was real change happening in my husband. Pessimism is a terrible waste of energy!

On a sunny Sunday we returned home from church and my husband was in foul mood. He changed his clothes and announced that he was taking the dog for a walk. Apparently there were spiritual battles happening in his mind because he unceremoniously stated, "I'm not going back to church tonight" and walked out the door.

"Why isn't daddy going to church, mommy?"
"I don't know, babe."
"Is daddy mad?"
"I don't know, sweetie. Let him talk to God for awhile." That was what I told myself, too. Again.

Duck was napping when my husband returned. He had taken the dog to walk at the river park across the road. The park area is on the other side of the river and there are boat locks that provide a walkway over the water. When no boats are travelling through, the walkway splits in two to let the boats through (kind of like french doors). He had been gone a long time, but even if I looked over, I wouldn't expect to see him on the other side.

He came home with a testimony of how God had been working on his life and heart.

I was all ears!

He admitted he had been acting selfishly and had, at times, been deliberately antagonizing. He confessed of his refusal to except responsibilities as leader in the family and co-participant in our marriage. Basically, his testimony was how he had been living with an its-all-about-me attitude and God had been making a change in that.

You see, he was telling this testimony as he was dripping wet.

He had left the house clouded in selfishness and bitterness. So much self involved he didn't look to see if the walkway of the locks was closed. While walking across the first half of the walkway, he was calling for the dog, who had run down the riverbank. The dog turned to follow. My husband turned just in time to see his next step into mid-air. There was no stopping.

SPLASH!

Coming up for air, he looked up to the walkway to see our dog looking down and smiling at him. He says he knew it was God telling him to snap out of it - that it wasn't all-about-him.

That, ladies, is better than any resolution or approach any wife could manage. That, my friends, built my faith that God listens and participates in our lives.

I gave thanks that day (and repeatedly since) that, not only did God hear my prayers, but He was gracious to show me that He had heard me! I gave thanks that He cares for me in my role as a wife, as well as His daughter. I gave thanks that His plan for marriage is the best and only way to strive for perfection.

There have been times since then that I have tried to 'fix' my husband and each time God reminds me that that is His job. And, I give thanks again. Because nothing I could ever do would ever be as effective (and satisfying) as throwing my husband in a river!

What's the point of this story?

Father, teach me to be the woman You would have me to be regardless of the situations that may surround me. Open my eyes to be the wife my husband needs and remind me often that You will provide the husband I need. Amen

But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price.

For after this manner in the old time the holy women also, who trusted in God, adorned themselves, being in subjection unto their own husbands:

Even as Sara obeyed Abraham, calling him lord: whose daughter ye are, as long as ye do well, and are not afraid with any amazement.

Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers by not hindered.

Finally, be ye all of one mind, having compassion one of another, love as brethren, be pitiful, be courteous:

Not rendering evil for evil, or railing for railing: but contrariwise blessing; knowing that ye are thereunto called, that ye should inherit a blessing.

1Peter :4-9 (emphasis mine)

Girls' Trip!

2009-07-23T15:57:00.007-04:00

We made it through our annual girls' trip and returned home on Saturday afternoon. We could have made it home earlier, but there were so many yard sales along the route home!

As I mentioned before we left, this was the first year that HH's little sister was BIG enough to come along - she's three. The best part for her was a fact that she kept repeating - "no boys allowed!" Remember, these are the only two girls out of 6 kids.

Here is little sister helping her mom relax at the beach:All the girls spent two full days at the campground's beach. Duck and HH were very good at including little sister in their play, but they loved being off on their own, too. Diving into the waves was longest lasting game:We were at Sand Banks Provincial Park, near Kingston, Ontario. It never fails to have good waves for swimming, but the water is actually quite shallow because of the 'sand banks' that go so far out from shore. The sun was out, but the wind was chilly and the water was like ice - for anyone over the age of 10, that is! The three girls didn't stop playing until they hit their tents and bed rolls. Of course, bedtime only happened after the s'mores had been made over the fire! Another great trip.

For more Show and Tell, go to Mary's place.

Whew!

2009-07-22T23:29:00.003-04:00

Let's see...back from camping Saturday afternoon. It is now Wednesday night - almost midnight. I am just finished laundry, packing gear away, planning grocery list (shopping to be done tomorrow), got the garden cleaned up and school back on track.
Four days vacation, followed by four days of catch up. Sounds about right.
Right now, with Duck in bed and my husband gone to work, I plan on spending time catching up on reading my favourite blogs. A normal day waits for me tomorrow.
Pictures and more posts coming soon!

Family Adventure Day!

2009-07-14T11:22:00.007-04:00

Yesterday was beautiful weather and we spent several hours on the water in a canoe. We have friends who work for the Ministry of Natural Resources in Algonquin Provincial Park. The use of the canoe comes with the cabin where they are staying - lucky for us to know them! Since we sold our kayaks a year and half ago, because Duck was too big to fit in with us (darn those long legs!) we have really missed this part of the outdoors.
Duck is still learning how to paddle, so she sat in the middle while my husband and I toured across a large lake:

We stopped at a landing several kilometres away and gave Duck some time in the front of the canoe trying out her skills. Homeschooling is everywhere and dad is a great teacher!: This final shot is a group of loons that were playing in the middle of lake. Look closely, the third one has his head under water. They are one of my favourite birds because of their beauty and their playfulness:

Now I leave you for the week. The Duck and I are off for our annual girls' trip with our friends, Ducks friend HH and her mom. The special part of this year's trip is that HH's little sister is coming with us for the first time - she's three y.o. We told her last week that she could join us this year and it has been the longest week of her life waiting to go!

I'm sure I'll bring back some great pictures! Have a great week.

Reality At The Beach

2009-07-10T23:40:00.004-04:00

Duck and I spent the afternoon today at the beach. There are two notable things about my Duck; one, she's friendly and social; two, as an only child she enjoys meeting new kids.

When we got to the beach it was full of kids of all ages. Duck waded into the water and surveyed the surroundings. She played and swam by herself for awhile and eventually wandered over to a gaggle of girls. I watched from the sidelines from behind my sunglasses.

She talked with the girls for several minutes and then turned and walked away, then spent several minutes digging in the sand by herself. When she returned up to my perch, we talked about several things and then I asked what the conversation with the girls had been about.

"Oh, I heard them planning on playing dolphins and I asked if I could play with them. Most of the girls said 'okay', but one said 'no'. So I walked away."

What's a mother to say? Duck didn't seem terribly upset by the event, but it must have felt awkward to be pushed away like that. So I just told her the truth.

"Well, my Duck. Sometimes public school kids aren't socialized very well."

She already knew that was true anyway. ;o)

How Does My Garden Grow?

2009-07-10T08:12:00.010-04:00

Today I am showing and telling about this year's garden. I love my garden, even with all the 'tragedies' that must be endured. This is the best, full shot I could get of it. We have green beans, peas, tomatoes, watermelon, eggplant, squash, cucumbers and corn planted this year:The corn is always a struggle in our cold climate. So when we see the fruit coming out it is a fantastic event! Even if we only get 1/2 dozen cobs, that meal is worth it!This next section shows the wild vegetation that we enjoy. This is one of the potato plants that have grown spontaneously in our garden every year. We don't plant them, they just grow. Each year I think I have pulled all the new potatoes out, each new year another plant(s) appears:These aren't really wild, but they were present on the property when we got here. There are several 'bushes' of these perennials just starting to blossom - if anyone knows the name, I'd love to hear it:I saw these in a gardening book just this past winter - they grow in the brush by my garage. Apparently they are garlic? The spear-like flowers are supposedly edible, but in the fall I will be pulling them up to see if there really is a garlic bulb in there:Finally, this is the plant that grows at my entrance. The container is an old, rusty milk can salvaged from a barn. The plant? I have no idea - pretty much just a weed that grew out of the soil I filled the container with. The original plan was to plant flowers, but this vine is quite nice...for a weed! There you have it. Proof that I don't kill every green thing that comes to my care. Hopefully in the fall I will be able to show and tell some of the produce we expect to enjoy. IF I can keep the critters at bay!

For more show and tell, go see Mary's place!

School's Out?

2009-07-07T08:07:00.001-04:00

Not at my house! One thing I love about homeschooling is that we can make our school work fit around my husband's work schedule. If daddy is home for the day, we generally leave the books on the shelf and find fun things to do. Most of our school year is set up for four days in a week - Tuesday to Friday. Occasionally I throw a Saturday in the mix for catch up.

With a flexible schedule, we have been able to take vacations during the 'normal' school year that ensures we get good prices on hotels and tour group events. It also means that we don't have to fight the crowds when we do travel. In fact, usually when we're travelling in one direction at the beginning of the week, all the other cars are headed the opposite direction.

However, it does mean that even in the beginning of July we still have some lessons to finish. Math, english, science and social studies are still hanging on. We should be done within the next two weeks - which is good because we want to go camping and leave the books behind!

All-in-all, I will take a flexible schedule, a four day school week and a shorter summer break over the rigidity of the public school system any day! And Duck agrees, except that she would choose to just ignore the rest of math ;o)

Was It a Loss?

2009-07-06T07:02:00.006-04:00

In my post about my dad, I made a quick comment about how my mother and the majority of the extended family want nothing to do with me and my immediate family. It is a disconnection that resulted from our decision to live for Christ in an open way - which, in turn, offended the very non-christian, feminist values of my mother. Mrs. Parunak commented on that post that this must have been a high price for our faith. That got me thinking about where we were before with the extended family and where we are now.

For several years after my husband and I started attending church regularly, my extended family and I tolerated each others differing opinions. However, as I mentioned in the original post having a different opinion from the matriarchal authorities of my extended family is not something that happens. Ever. So maintaining the relationship for those years was a great strain on my marriage - because, of course, it was all my husband's fault. Or so the line goes from the matriarchs.

Each visit 'down home' never failed to present snide remarks about our growing beliefs/convictions. This made for tiring vacations and some quarreling between my husband and I. But we continued the relationships under the guise of 'these people are family'. This was all before my daughter was born. Once a grandchild was added to the mix, the pressure to conform to the wishes of the grandparents became even stronger (I exclude my father from the pressure factor as he always was and continues to be very supportive in our parental rights).

As the pressure grew, so did the quarrelling within my marriage. We both felt the sense of 'duty' to our extended families - looking back we can see it was more a sense of guilt if we did not measure up to expectations.

As I said, once my daughter arrived the matriarchs wanted to be directly involved in how she was raised. Obviously their feminist views did not mix well with our biblical view and their comments and criticisms became more and more overt. Again, it must be my husband's fault; or maybe it was the church's fault. I must be under the influence of some strong brainwashing to veer away from the liberal, feminist facts-of-life!

If the world hate you, ye know that it hated me before it hated you.

If ye were of the world, the world would love his own: but because ye are not of the world, but I have chosen you out of the world, therefore the world hateth you. John 15: 18 & 19

When it all came to a head one day in my home that was the storyline the matriarchs were selling - I was involved in a cult and being brainwashed into subjugating myself and my daughter. Let me assure you, once I was labelled with that doozy of a label nothing I said mattered. As far as they were concerned, I was no longer thinking or speaking for myself. Ironically, this was the first time in my life that I really was thinking and speaking for myself. I had been released from the indoctrination of liberalism and feminism and was finally looking at life through clear eyes.

However, no amount of conversation could dissuade my mother from trying to 'save' me and my daughter from the cult and from my husband. On the day of my daughter's third birthday, children's services showed up at the door. We had been accused of being emotionally and physically abusive to Duck. Emotionally abusive because we were teaching from a biblical standpoint and therefore subjugating her. The physical abuse accusation was based on spanking - a discipline that was used by both sets of grandparents in their parental years.

The idea that she was trying to save me was the story for the rest of the family and for the social worker. This ploy was nothing more than a strong-arm attempt to control my family. It failed miserably for her.

The long and drawn out investigation included dozens of people supporting us - doctors, policemen and even a paramedic who knew us wrote complimentary letters about the care my daughter received from us. Neighbours and church members came forward and clearly denied the accusations. However, when it comes to children's services you are guilty until proven innocent and the next several weeks were terrible with the knowledge that in this country that is drowning in socialism, the government agency could take our daughter anytime they wanted without ever giving a explanation.

The failure for my mother came at the end of the investigation when we received a letter stating clearly that there had been no evidence of abuse to continue the case. With that nonsense behind us, we were convinced that it was best not to include the offending parties in the life of our daughter again. We did so based on practical bible study, particularly these sections:

Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousnous with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?

And what concord hath Christ with Belial? or what part hath he that believeth with an infidel?

And what agreement hath the temple of God with idols? for ye are the temple of the living God; as God hath said, I will dwell in them, and walk in them; and I will be their God, and they shall be my people.

Wherefore come out from among them, and be ye separate, saith the Lrod, and touch not the unclean thing, and I will receive you,

and will be a Father unto you and ye shall be my sons and daughters, saith the Lord Almighty. 2 Corinthians 6:14 - 18

And have no fellowhsip with the unfruitful works of darkness, but rather reprove them. Ephesians 5:11

There was no way to ignore the unfruitful works of darkness in the heavy hand of the matriarchs. In the end, we could not justify a relationship that could endanger our marriage, our daughter and even our faith. Can we call this a loss? No.

Since the extended family has been removed from our path, we have grown spiritually and our marriage has been relieved of the quarrelling that once came with travelling home. My father and his wife continue to support us even if they don't hold to our convictions or faith. But our eyes are wide open now to the dangers of a relationship with non-believers. We are more careful to 'lead a quiet and peaceable life' (1 Timothy 2:2) while still following our convictions.

Do we expect that we will never be persecuted again? Well, I have to say that is my prayer, as selfish as it may be - but in the end, we hope our situation is one that glorifies God. Maybe one day, another christian will be placed in this same situation and we will be there to share our story and support.

Yea, doubtless, and I count all things but loss for the excellency of the knowledge of Christ Jesus my Lord: for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and do count them but dung, that I may win Christ, Phillipians 3:8

Laughter Relieves Stress

2009-07-03T21:57:00.006-04:00

This is for Kelly and her husband who had a very negative interaction with Canadians recently. Happy July 4th! (be careful, Kelly, uncontrolled laughter could induce labour!)

Imagine you're walking down a deserted street with your wife and small children.

Suddenly, an Islamic terrorist with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities , praises Allah, raises the knife and charges at you. You are carrying a legal, registered Kimber 1911 cal. 45 ACP, and you are an expert shot.

With mere seconds before he reaches you and your family, what would you do?

DEMOCRAT ANSWER:

Well, that's not enough information to make a decision.

Does the man look poor or oppressed?

Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack?

Could we run away?

What does my wife think?

Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand?

What does the law say about this situation?

Does the pistol have appropriate safety built into it?

Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children? Why do I have so many children?

Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me while my family gets away?

Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me?

Should I call 9-1-1?

Why is this street so deserted?

We need to raise the taxes, have a paint and weed day and make this a happier, healthier street that would discourage such behaviour!

This is all so confusing! I need to debate this with some friends for a few days and try to come to a concensus.

REPUBLICAN ANSWER:

BANG!

REDNECK's ANSWER:

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!

Click...(sounds of reloading)

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!

Click!

Daughter: "Nice grouping, Daddy! Were those the Winchester Silver Tips or Hollow Points?"

Son: "Can I shoot the next one, Dad?"

Wife: "You're not planning on hanging that on the wall, are ya'?"

Okay, what category do you fit into?!

Sunday School Summer Picnic

2009-07-03T10:14:00.013-04:00

Every summer we plan a picnic at our church. We always say it's for the kids, but the adults enjoy it just as much! Here is the pastor giving the kids some instructions for games. Take a look at the difference in facial expressions in the kids. The older ones have heard it all before, but look at the little blonde in front of the pastor: Here is a closer shot of her expression. Such attention! Actually, knowing this little thing like I do (I'm Auntie Kim) I know what she's thinking. "Alright Pastor, whatever you say...just get on with the prizes!Most of the races are set up for all age groups, including the adults. However, the running races are just for the kids - after about 18yo, nobody wants to run anymore ;o) The shoe kick competition has become more popular since we added a target! That's my hubby standing in the field as all the teenage ladies try to hit him with a shoe. If you can hit him, you get that bag of smarties in his hand: I'm trying so hard to hit my husband, I have to stick my tongue out! Serious competition for smarties!
Here a couple of action shots of the egg toss. That's me in the blue shirt and white shorts. I have looked closely, but I can't see the egg that I'm catching: This shot shows the moment the egg broke in my hand. So gross! But we did take third place. The kids are great to watch at the egg toss, especially when it does break on them! That's Duck just missing the egg - but it didn't break that time: And, what's a picnic without several long tables lined with food? We'll never starve at our church! And once the games and food are done, the prizes come out. Our pastor knows how to pick good prizes. Junk food for anyone over 18yo and toys for the kids. Look at this mischievious fellow about to shoot his new nerf gun at the unsuspecting crowd below him:

And a wonderful time was had by all! We'll do it all again next year!

For more great show and tell stories, go see Mary!

Life As a Vapour

2009-07-02T22:25:00.005-04:00

Just the other day we learned of the death of a pastor. He was only 50 years old; he pastored a very large church with a Christian school as part of the ministry; he authored many books; he was well-known among his doctrinal circle; he actively preached against the doctrine of which I believe. He leaves behind this large ministry, a wife as young as he was and several grown children. His death was a surprise to all who know him or have heard of him and, as he was a stong leader, this will be a great blow to his ministry.

It will also be a greatly negative witness to all the non-christians who were watching. You see, he committed suicide.

How does a man such as this come to a point of such despair that he takes his own life? In his vast ministry was there no one who he could turn to with his problems? When he preached about the Lord this past Sunday, could he find no solace in his salvation message? Did he not have a relationship with the Comforter? How does his congregation respond to the thought that their seemingly righteous leader could find no other means to resolve pain and sorrow?

So many questions, but I am left with very simple answers. This man was lost in his sin. Sin so greivous that he believed there could be no forgiveness. Even pastors can be lost.

The thief cometh not, but for to steal, and to kill, and to destroy: I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly. John 10:10 (emphasis mine)

It isn't appropriate to make assumptions about the specific 'why' the man could no longer live with himself. However, it is important to cry out to those who would feel as though they have been left floundering for understanding. The size of a ministry does not proclaim the level of righteousness of it's leaders. Christ's own ministry on earth came down to just 11 men.

For Christians everywhere, we need to remember a simple adage that (oddly) comes from a character in the original movie, 'Anne of Green Gables':

"To despair is to give up on God", Marilla Cuthbert

For biblical comfort, we need to turn to David's Psalm 27:

The Lord is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? the Lord is the strength of my life; of whom shall I be afraid? When the wicked, even mine enemies and my foes, came upon me to eat up my flesh, they stumbled and fell. Though an host should encamp against me, my heart shall not fear: though war should rise against me, in this will I be confident. One thing have I desired of the Lord, that will I seek after; that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, to behold the beauty of the Lord, and to enquire in his temple. For in the time of trouble he shall hide me in his pavilion: in the secret of his tabernacle shall he hide me; he shall set me up upon a rock. And now shall mine head be lifted up above mine enemies round about me: therefore will I offer in his tabernacle sacrifices of joy; I will sing, yea, I will sing praises unto the Lord. Hear, O Lord, when I cry with my voice: have mercy also upon me, and answer me. When thou saidst, Seek ye my face; my heart said unto thee, Thy face, Lord, will I seek. Hide not they face far from me; put not thy servant away in anger: thou hast been my help; leave me not, neither forsake me, O God of my salvation. When my father and my mother forsake me, then the Lord will take me up. Teach me thy way, O Lord, and lead me in the plain path, because of mine enemies. Deliver me not over unto the will of mine enemies: for false witnesses are risen up against me, and such as breathe out cruelty. I had fainted, unless I had believed to see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Wait on the Lord: be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on the Lord. (emphasis mine)

We need to pray for those who are struggling, who looked to this pastor for leadership and strength, and pray that they do not follow his example but look to the Lord for true leadership and strength. That is the only place for a christian to find solace.

Titus 2 Wrap Up

2009-06-30T22:43:00.004-04:00

That's right, we just finished our ladies' study on Martha Peace's book Becoming a Titus 2 Woman. Our study group has taken most of the last 6 months working our way through this book and have found it very inspiring. Not only has it encouraged each of us to examine our roles as women, but it has brought us closer as a group. Several of the women in our study were only acquaintances to me when we started and now we are very familiar with each other. Two very good reasons for studying scripture as a group!
So these are the final self-study questions that accompany our sessions - you will see that I had to stop focusing the questions on just 'husband and wife' situations - some of our ladies are single or widowed, therefore their authority falls under their father or the pastor, respectively. Hopefully each of you that has followed the study has enjoyed the contemplative nature of these questions - and I do encourage you to find a copy of the book.

1. Our reason for studying God's word should be to seek His heart. Do I work toward being a woman after God's own heart?

2. When I disagree or dislike my authority/husband's decisions, do I graciously follow in the same way as I would when I agree?

3. When my house is lacking harmony, do I accept that I may be responsible? Am I guilty of causing the chaos?

4. Do I project a 'doormat' submission to those around me or do people see a working relationship between myself and my authority/husband?

5. Do I live what I preach? (i.e. do younger women see me as a positive Titus 2 role model)

6. Have I ever entered into gossiping with a girlfriend when talking about our authority/husbands? Do I seek to build up my authority/husband?

7. When I believe my authority/husband is sinning, do I trust that God will deal with him or do I 'help' God by trying to change him my way?

8. Do I believe God's authority structure is the best way in all situations?

9. If I made a list of things in my life that honour God and a list of things that dishonour Him, which list would be longer?

10. How often do I allow my emotions to lead my behaviour rather than the word of God?

11. After completing this study, do I believe God would have me initiate relationships with other women in order to live out Titus 2:3-5? Am I going to do it?

Predicting the Future

2009-06-28T09:36:00.002-04:00

Most of the time I am an optimist. After all, optimism is something that springs from our trust in the Lord. However, there continues to be one area where I get wrapped up in pessimism.

People. I have little-to-no optimism when it comes to people (outside of my husband and Duck, of course).

This pessimism has originated from my non-christian years. Too many times in my early life I was disappointed by those who should have been my security net. Back then in my immaturity I simply said 'people stink' as a summary to my opinion. Actually, now that I see the world in two categories - saved and not saved. I can understand those that can be dissappointing when they are not saved - like they have an excuse for living selfishly.

However, living among christians, my distrust of people who claim to be saved hasn't really changed. In alot of ways it has sprouted. Although I don't often summarize my feelings the same crass way, all my 'spidey senses' go off as soon as someone new tells me they are christian. I simply sit back and think 'we'll see, won't we. Actions speak louder than words'.

Too many times I have watched the same scenario play out just in our little corner of the church. People join in and jump on board with enthusiasm;

homeschooling? great idea!
courtship? great idea!
trusting God's plan for finances? great idea! - the list of lifestyle issues goes on.

It never fails to make my pessimistic smile sneak across my face when these long-time christian people say, "oh, I wish I had found these scriptures before!" Hmmm...were these scriptures hiding? (As you can see, pessimism and sarcasm go hand in hand for me)

These people certainly can be part of our church family for extended amounts of time - years, even decades. We have had people who regularly participated in church, gushing with pride over their 'convictions', and then the time comes when they get insulted, upset or too tired to keep up the facade (oddly, it seems to occur when children reach the teen years). These same 'christians' point to the very reasons they wanted to be part of our church as their reasons for disagreement;

homeschooling? it's too demanding
courtship? unreasonable for today's youth
trusting God's financial plan? too difficult to keep tithing; etc.

However, don't dare remind them of the very scripture that originally enlightened them! That will ensure animosity and that will make you their 'reason' for leaving. Those who live successfully (by the grace of God) with biblical conviction will be accused of being elitist or self-righteous - and the bitterness builds where friendship once was found. Even King David was familiar with these type of people:

Day and night they go about it upon the walls thereof: mischief also and sorrow are in the midst of it.

Wickedness is in the midst thereof: deceit and guile depart not from her streets.

For it was not an enemy that reproached me; then I could have borne it: neither was it he that hated me that did magnify himself against me; then I would have hid myself from him:

But it was thou, a man mine equal, my guide, and mine acquaintance.

We took sweet counsel together, and walked unto the house of God in company. Psalm 55:10-14

The words of his mouth were smoother than butter, but war was in his heart: his words were softer than oil, yet were they drawn swords.

Cast thy burden upon the Lord, and he shall sustain thee: he shall never suffer the righteous to be moved. Psalm 55:21&22

To be clear, I'm not so self-righteous to claim that I will never fail in my walk with Christ - claiming that would ensure a sudden lightening bolt! And I am learning to lean on patience rather than judgement with new christians.

Will my pessimism ever change when it comes to people? Only God could change that for me. I am learning to appreciate people at the time they are growing and avoiding judging their sincerity - or predicting their exit. Their heart can only be read by the Lord, and that is probably a good thing! If our hearts could be read by each other our churches would likely be empty! In the end, it is my growth, service and commitment to the Lord that should be my only concern.

It has, however, been made clear to me that those who attend church because of the people or programs (social), will end up leaving because of the people or programs.

Every time another person or family falls away from the faith they proclaimed so loudly is not a time to say 'I told you so' or to analyze what 'their problem is'. No, each time someone falls away I need to ask, 'do I have my heart in church for Christ?' Thank you, Lord, I can say I do. Predicting the future can stay in His hands!

Create in me a clean heart, O God, and create a right spirit within me. Psalm 51:10

Things That Make You Go Hmmm...

2009-06-27T04:47:00.004-04:00

Over on Generation Cedar there was a hot topic discussed, feminism (excuse my language ;o]). If you have the time and inclination, reading the comment section is very enlightening of where some christian women can still be drawn away from truth by the world views taught out there.

Some comments made me smile, others made wince. Take a look for yourself.

Father Day Thoughts

2009-06-25T09:06:00.005-04:00

This past weekend my dad and his wife were visiting our home. He is the only member of my extended family that still associates with us. The remainder of my vast family has left us in the cold since we were labelled as 'religious nuts' and 'cult members' by one of the matriarchs of the group - my mother. You see, my mother has a way of encouraging others to avoid disagreeing with her and any opposing opinions are to be kept silent. At the time we were accused of such labels, my dad was the only one who came to investigate the accusations and in doing so, came to the conclusion that we're are a normal healthy family even if we are 'doing the church thing'. He, of course, had been burned by the same manipulator before, having been through a divorce.

But this is supposed to be about my dad.

He is not a christian, and his life revolves around worldly pleasures and work (the work is just to pay for the pleasure). He eats too much, drinks too much and only gets exercise when the remote control isn't working. As his granddaughter gets older, he is having a harder time relating to her christian upbringing, but they have running jokes and teasing between them.

While they were here for the visit, Duck asked them to come to church. She always does and she doesn't simply accept their excuses - 'it's a long drive home', 'no church clothes', etc. Duck smiles and answers them simply, 'church is done by noon', 'any clothes are fine', etc.

My husband and I don't tell Duck that she can't ask these questions, and Grampa and Gramma never tell her the flat out truth. Church is meaningless to them, maybe even a little scary, too.

So Sunday morning came and they know we are going to church. They know they are welcome. We know it is unlikely they will come. And, sure enough, they are up early and packed to go home. We say our goodbyes in the driveway and they go one direction as we go the other.

Now, God always gives us examples and role models to look at and learn from. Good and bad examples and role models. My husband and I take the time this weekend to show Duck someone who loves her as best as he can - without Christ. We talk about the time we have to live for Christ in from of those who live without him. Most of all, we always remind her (and ourselves) how important this verse is to remember:

My soul, wait thou only upon God; for my expectation is from him. Psalm 62:5

I have never doubted that my dad loves me as best as he can, as a dad who lives without Christ. And now I show Duck the same thing to see in her grampa. So, in return, we love him as he is and without expectations, but not without hope, that he will ever see the truth in Christ. That falls under God's soveriegnty, only He can change my dad.

So for now, we plan our next visit - without expectation.

If Only...

2009-06-22T08:03:00.000-04:00

(another one from the archives...)

If only I had paid more attention to my health when I was younger, I wouldn't be carrying 40lbs more than I should be;

If only I had learned about money management 20 years ago, I wouldn't be digging my way out of debt at middle age;

If only I had been raised in a Christian home, I wouldn't spend so much time re-training my feminist, selfish upbringing;

If only I had married at a younger age, the mystery of why my body will not produce more children would never have been an issue;

If only my husband and I had taken advantage of the years of good, double incomes, we would have our own home by now;

If only my mother had been a Christian woman, I could have sought out the means to a home business long ago;

If only I didn't have to work part time outside the home, I could spend more viable time raising my daughter in the view of Proverbs 31;

If only I spent more time concentrating on verses like this -

And we know that all things works together for good to them that love God, to them who are called according to His purpose.
Romans 8:28

- I wouldn't waste so much time on the selfish thoughts mentioned and spend more time in gratitude.

Thank you Lord for taking hold of my heart when you did because you didn't have to do it. Thank you for giving me a husband who has grown to eagerly seek your will for his leadership in our family; for my beautiful daughter who daily shows me how to love and trust you wholeheartedly without reservation - as a child. Thank you Lord for the tremendous blessings of learning to live the simple life; for feelings of joy with each step I take climbing to a debt free life; for the love of a man who encourages me to seek to be the woman you would have me to be - and that my daughter can witness it. Thank you that your timing in my life is always perfect. Amen.

The Happy Dance

2009-06-21T19:47:00.000-04:00

(an old post I was reminded of recently - it still applies to today!)

The happy dance is something that happens in our home throughout the school year. It originated quite spontaneously when my little girl, Duck, was in grade one. The happy dance is executed on occasions wherein we, the Duck and I, complete a large unit or project.

It is a silly little tradition that the Duck never fails to remind me to complete. Just today we finished the 4th unit of her reading comprehension, leaving only one more unit to complete for grade 3, and we promptly stood in the middle of the living room and did our thing. A crazy, but happy dance. A celebration of accomplishment! A moment to appreciate the privileges in homeschooling and a moment to build a silly little tradition that the Duck loves.

There may come a time in her life when the happy dance is just a memory and she's 'too mature' to do it anymore. I hope that time is a long way off because I also love to jump up and celebrate with a little jig.

The dog, however, thinks we're nuts.

The Little Blessings

2009-06-16T23:28:00.001-04:00

There are some things in my life where I must guard against idolizing. One thing in particular is a point in every week that my daughter is in bed and my husband is at work...where I have total free time to myself. It only happens once a week and I have 2-3 hours to do whatever I want. Let me repeat that: 2-3 hours to do WHATEVER I WANT!

I revel in this time. That may seem to be an exaggeration, but it's not. My only difficulty is deciding which 'me' thing to do; knitting; or sewing; or reading; or blogging; or a little of each. Sometimes I even choose to clean the kitchen, as crazy as that is.

Please don't misunderstand, I love my husband and daughter. I love when I hear my husband coming in the door after being at work. I love working with my daughter all day with school or fun projects. I even enjoy the housekeeping aspect of my life (I can't honestly say I love that part, but 'enjoy' is truthful). But when this weekly time alone happens, I accomplish so much in just a short time. It is a time that I use to refresh myself for my family.

The most important part about it is to remember to use my time wisely and for good purpose. I have on occasion frittered the time away with TV (also affectionately known as the idiot box) and I do not feel refreshed with that, I feel slothful. As always, I return to my favourite verse listed with the title of my blog,

1 Corinthians 10:31 - do ALL to the glory of God, including the use of my free time.

So, now that I have blogged...what will I do next?

See then that ye walk circumspectly, not as fools, but as wise,

Redeeming the time, because the days are evil.

Wherefore be ye not unwise,

but understanding what the will of the Lord is.

Ephesians 5:15-17

How Much is Enough?

2009-06-12T06:37:00.001-04:00

Working as a nurse for 15 years gives me alot of stories that can be told. Funny ones and sad ones; enlightening ones and discouraging ones; heartwarming ones and frustrating ones. Today's story has a bit of each of these.

There are two women, seniors, at work who are similar in age and are both dealing with similar disease processes - that of respiratory deterioration. One of these women is still mobile in a wheelchair, the other is bedridden due to other maladies. They struggle for air and therefore, they both have a certain amount of confusion with the decrease in oxygen.

The bedridden lady works hard to accomplish everyday tasks, sometimes succeeding and sometimes not. She has a doting son and daughter-in-law who visit daily to read to her, decorate her room, do her nails or sometimes just to kiss her goodnight. This lady experiences alot of discomfort when moving around, but never fails to thank her caregivers after each time her care is completed.

The woman in the wheelchair spends most of her days and nights yelling (yelling!) and complaining. She complains that she doesn't get enough help, but complains about the help she does get. During the night, she screams because she doesn't want to be alone, but when staff do attend to her room she screams at them. She never had children, so her neices and nephews are assigned as her next of kin - I have never seen any of them come to visit.

There is one more similarity to mention. They both claim the title 'christian'.

Now, it isn't my place to say I know the heart of these women. Obviously the fruit of the Spirit can be seen much greater in the first lady, but it would be too bold to state that the second isn't actually saved. So, taking it as a given that they are both indeed saved...what is the difference?

Can a born-again Christian, saved by grace, fall away from faith to the point that their salvation is unrecognizable? Can a heart with Christ indwelling be overwhelmed by a tormented mind? I believe the answer is yes.

Neither give place to the devil. Ephesians 4:27

Once Satan finds a 'crack' in our faith, he grabs hold and doesn't let go. He actively seeks out these 'cracks' - do we have a tendency to worry, he'll encourage your worry; do we have any type of idol in our lives, he'll encourage us to turn toward that idol more and more often. Most often it can come down to our level of trust in God. How many of us know this Psalm:

Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not on thine own understanding.

In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct your paths. Proverbs 3:5&6

However, how many of us really embrace the promise in these words? Trust with ALL thine heart - in ALL thy ways acknowledge him. What are ALL our ways?

- the way we live out our daily life,

- the way we behave as women, wives, daughters,

- the way we serve in our local church,

- the way we choose our spouses,

- the way we raise our children,

- the way we manage our money.

And on and on. There isn't a single moment of our lives that does not fit into this Psalm. So I ask the question...do I trust Him to:

- lead my husband without my help?

- give me the strength I need to teach my child at home?

- protect my family when trials come without having to give up on convictions?

- provide for all my needs when I give my tithe (even when money is tight)?

- raise up a Godly man for my daughter as I teach her that purity is His will for her life?

Look at when Job had lost everything, when his friends were discouraging, when his wife told him to put an end to his life of misery, when he was blistered and broke and alone in this world...he trusted.

Though he slay me, yet will I trust in him... Job 13:18

That is where I see the bedridden woman from the my beginning story. She is accepting her trials and trusting God. She is living her faith before everyone to see. Am I there yet? No. But I'm not in that situation yet, either. For each trial I face, my faith strengthens as I see God working to bring me through. There will always be more trials, and He will undoubtedly provide the faith I need for them - that's the promise part of the Psalm, ...and he shall direct [my] paths.

How much faith is enough? The exact amount that He has built into me to this point in my life.

That the trial of your faith, being much more precious than of gold that perisheth, though it be tried with fire, might be found unto praise and honour and glory at the appearing of Jesus Christ:

Whom having not seen, ye love; in whom, though now ye see him not, yet believing, ye rejoice with joy unspeakable and full of glory:

Receiving the end of your faith, even the salvation of your souls.

1 Peter 1:7-9

Parenting Advice

2009-06-10T08:24:00.002-04:00

I know that Duck's behaviour, good or bad, is my responsibility. When negative behaviour does rear its ugly head, I (and my husband) try to meet it head on. The best place to turn, of course, is to our Father in Heaven. Let's face it, He has dealt with the worst of the worst among His children! (it's a good thing that Paul signed himself up as the 'chief among sinners' or else I think I would have to take the title)

But sticking with dealing with our children's' behaviour, there is great parenting advice throughout scripture. There is one section that Duck and I have been reading and talking about that has meant alot to both of us, 1 Thessolonians 5:14-24:

14 Now we exhort you, brethren, warn them that are unruly, comfort the feebleminded, support the weak, be patient toward all men.

15 See that none render evil for evil unto any man; but ever follow that which is good, both among yourselves, and to all men.

16 Rejoice evermore.

17 Pray without ceasing.

18 In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you.

19 Quench not the Spirit.

20 Despise not prophesyings.

21 Prove all things; hold fast that which is good.

22 Abstain from all appearance of evil.

23 And the very God of peace sanctify you wholly; and I pray God your whole spirit and soul and body be preserved blameless unto the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ.

24 Faithful is he that calleth you, who also will do it.

Take each verse individually and mull over what it means in your life. This is advice for any age, but how much better that our children take hold of it now. Learning to 'rejoice evermore' and

'pray without ceasing' will carry them through any trial that is allowed into their lives.

Quench not the Spirit - don't hide your light under a bushel!

Prove all things - let others watch you stand on your faith and succeed!

Abstain from all appearance of evil - oh, how subtle Satan can be sneaking into our lives when secular thinking becomes acceptable to a Christian.

Never forgetting the last two verses and the promise that is in there for the faithful. Let me hear an AMEN!

What?

2009-06-08T02:32:00.009-04:00

The other day my husband brought home a flyer that had been displayed at his workplace. He works for an organization that deems itself christian, therefore they had been targeted for a particular marketing plan from a local restaurant. Here is how the marketing scheme goes:

All church goers were encouraged to organize group lunches at this local restaurant. When the lunch was completed, the restaurant would calculate the bill for all church goers meals and then write and deliver a cheque for 10% of the amount of the lunch and donate that back to the individual churches.

So, the more people that attended from a single church, the more money that would be donated back to the church. Sounds great - accept that the deal was only for Sunday lunches. I know that in today's culture, the whole idea of keeping the Lord's Day holy has fallen into the 'antiquated' realm. The restaurants in our town are packed after morning services. Shopping on Sunday is 'normal' - but then again so are STDs and I'm not interested in taking part of them either!

For our family, keeping the Lord's Day holy includes not working on that day AND not causing someone else to work that day either. We attend church both in the morning and evening. It means we do not shop for anything - a standard which requires only a small bit of planning and organizing on Saturday to ensure that we can maintain it. Outside of unforseen emergencies, we feel convicted by the commandment.

This however, is not the cultural thing to do, even among christian groups. Which is why I have no doubt that the local restaurant will make out quite well with its plan. Church groups will flock to lunch all for the purposes of 'supporting our church financially'.

Hmmm...maybe a post on tithing would be good to do. Another day, though...Good Monday morning to you all!